22. Never had a boyfriend. Never made passionate love. Never received jewelry or even a card from a man.

I sort of dated this one guy for a few months because I asked him to teach me how to give bjs. He became an intimate friend, trusting me a lot. He kissed me and took me on dates and we slept in the same bed. He had sex with me on my 21st birthday. But then told me he needed "space" when I called him out for seeing other girls at the same time. I always made it clear that intercourse would have to be an exclusive thing for me. That was the end of that... He told me I would make a great girlfriend the last time we hung out...

I was voted "miss congeniality" and homecoming princess and cheerleading captain and "most likely to bring home to mom and dad." I'm pretty smart and I've had a good education at a top university, I love to bake and clean... I am very hard working and ambitious and have had a great year in my career...
I have all my teeth and I wash my hair about every other day (lol)...
But seriously...
Help.
My brother abused me when we were younger. He is pretty awesome now. Sweet. He is literally a tested genius and you those brilliant minds come with their troubles... Though I love him and admire him now we are not close.
Same with my father. He told me that I was "worthless" and "nothing." I fear that I have held on to these ideas and let them steer me clear of men.

How can I meet a kind, intelligent, successful guy and let him in? One that loves ME. And inspire me to be better. And treat me with respect.?

I hear what your saying. I have experienced everything you listed above. Given what you wrote though... it sounds as if perhaps you give out too much information too soon and your too trusting.

Let me give what I just read from a guys point of view.

1. You sort of dated this guy so he could teach you how to give bjs...
Guy: Here's a girl that I can "be with" and get bj jobs from whenever so I can "make her more productive at it". HEAVENNNNNN!
-Do you really think that your going to get a "good guy" with the right intentions. Going around like that?

2. You have quite a credential list
Guy: This girl has done twice as much as I have done... and still wants to keep going. If I'm in a actual relationship with her I'm going to look reaaall bad.
-Idk how you introduce yourself or how a normal date goes for you. But ik when I have been on a date, the females that spout out their achievements are usually a turn off. Especially when they are better than mine. JS

3.You have been abused
Guy: This girl just told the whole world about her abuse... its almost like she told me how good she was and what she's done... and now she wants me to feel sorry for her. PLUS why did I need to know that!
-Most def not trying to be rude because as I said.. been through this myself. However it sounds like while you may have "let it go" you most def let it still become an issue. This isn't something I even share with someone until we are are very serious and ik it won't effect our relationship.

My main suggestion to you is focus on what you want... pursue it... and forget about the past. Don't use it as a reference point. Whether its your previous achievements or past mishaps.

GOOD LUCK!