Okay, so my 2 daughters have an absent parent. My oldest is 6 and my youngest is 3. Their father left more than 5 times before my oldest turned 3. He left us for the last time when my youngest was 3 months old. He has not seen them since. He went to the store and never came back. So it's been 3 yrs. After he left he threatened our lives through text message to a mutual friend at the time which is documented with the police. He has since been in trouble with the law, been in and out of jail, had 2 other children (one was removed from his care due to using illegal drugs in front of his other child- he has this child back again), was a fugitive from the law on gang assault charges. He drinks a lot. He has been verbally and physically abusive in the past, as well as been known to be addicted to cocaine on and off. He has shown zero interest in them and they do not remember him. They live happy little lives like little girls should and know nothing of the ugliness of being subjected to such an environment as is what he lives in.

A few months back while he was incarcerated his girlfriend text messaged me saying that when he got out of jail they were going to take me to court and their "going hard." I have sole custody of both of my girls, his visitation for our oldest has been suspended and our youngest was with my father in-law supervising.

He has not ever used his visitation rights and so I filed to suspend them. These little girls are advanced, happy, loving little girls. They know what the word "home" means. When he was in our lives we moved more than 15x in a 3yr period. Since I've been doing this alone we've lived in the same residence. They have continuity. Functionality. They have no worries and do not know the heartbreak he caused us all. I need to protect that. I need to protect them from future emotional abuse. I never speak ill of them in their presence. He has never sent a birthday card or gift or had any contact with them as far as phone calls. When he was a fugitive no one heard from him in 2yrs.

Since I filed a few months back we've been to court 3x. The 1st time the police brought him because he was incarcerated. The second time he didn't show. The judge adjourned it. He has never shown up on his own until this last 3rd time- I've filed 4 other times between custody and visitation over a course of 6yrs. The judge adjourned it again because his lawyer and the law guardian had still not been able to reach him. The judge says if we can't come to an agreement he'll set it for a trial.

I want to know why he is getting so much leniency? I wrote up a 4 page in depth statement explaining why I feel this is the right thing to do. I am only getting in writing what he has failed to use-his visitation. I feel like his failure to appear is yet another way he is showing that he doesn't want to play an active role in their lives. I want to save my children from being hurt emotionally by being subjected to their father who is only consistent at being inconsistent. What happens at a trial and why would the judge decide to do this given the history?

The judge adjourned it again because his lawyer and the law guardian had still not been able to reach him. The judge says if we can't come to an agreement he'll set it for a trial.

I want to know why he is getting so much leniency?

Because that's the law. If parents cannot reach to agreement then it will be decided by the judge. Who said he would get visitation?

You surely are aware of how over burdened the courts are and how they just go by a checklist on some paperwork, hear cases for literally one minute and postpone them many times, and how there is now a trend toward father's rights after decades of not enough. So you are stuck with what you are going through, sorry.
Your children may be blissfully unaware for now, but in a few short years they will be asking, so there isn't a lot of reason to hide a few facts from the 6 year old even now. They may even glamorize their absent father, crimes and all, if it's too hidden and mysterious.

Because that's the law. If parents cannot reach to agreement then it will be decided by the judge. Who said he would get visitation?

Okay I see. So this is just a normal part of the process. It just is so irritating that he doesn't show they adjourn. No lawyers can reach him but he shows they adjourn. He may very well not show again we do not go back to court until September. A lot can happen in the life of that man in a 2-month period. Thank you for your response=)

Yes, this is just how it works, it is a slow and costly process and what I did not hear was YOUR attorney, don't go to court without an attorney if he has one.

You surely are aware of how over burdened the courts are and how they just go by a checklist on some paperwork, hear cases for literally one minute and postpone them many times, and how there is now a trend toward father's rights after decades of not enough. So you are stuck with what you are going through, sorry.
Your children may be blissfully unaware for now, but in a few short years they will be asking, so there isn't a lot of reason to hide a few facts from the 6 year old even now. They may even glamorize their absent father, crimes and all, if it's too hidden and mysterious.

Well I try to be careful not to bad mouth. I don't want my children to be brainwashed into believing their father is a bad man because of something I have said. When my oldest asks about him I tell her he made some bad choices and that's why he isn't around. I can't bring myself to tell her he chooses not to be because I won't let them think for a minute he doesn't love them. They do ask if he loves them. I always say yes.

yes, this is just how it works, it is a slow and costly process and what I did not hear was YOUR attorney, don't go to court without an attorney if he has one.

Yes sir I do have an attorney. My sister in-law referred me to her. She is the best here in town. She knows her stuff! Thank you for your response!

You surely are aware of how over burdened the courts are and how they just go by a checklist on some paperwork, hear cases for literally one minute and postpone them many times, and how there is now a trend toward father's rights after decades of not enough. So you are stuck with what you are going through, sorry.
Your children may be blissfully unaware for now, but in a few short years they will be asking, so there isn't a lot of reason to hide a few facts from the 6 year old even now. They may even glamorize their absent father, crimes and all, if it's too hidden and mysterious.

Thanks for your response!

What does you attorney say about all this. If he doesn't show at the next hearing ask your attorney about asking for a dismissal?

Ya that's what were going to do. If he doesn't show. The law guardian wants to order a psychological evaluation. I believe if he meant to be sincere he wouldn't have missed the last one and should have to take both parenting and anger management classes before he is even allowed around the children. I think driving right into even supervised visits at this point is a bit premature and I fear all for naught due to his inconsistent and criminal behavior. I forgot to mention I do have an active "Refrain From" order through criminal court and filed for a "Stay Away" order through family court.