Im 20, nothing is wrong with me, I don't have anxiety or so ever, but everybody hates me, nobody takes me seriously, I see people fighting for each other, but when it comes to me they just ignore!

I'm so ignored, nobody have ever ever started friendship with me, I always go and start it up, I always call nobody calls me, I'm tired tired tired

I mean through my teenage years I thought it would be better the next morning, but it's always gloomier and darker!

What did I do wrong? When I smile people say I'm an impostor, when I'm silent I'm creepy, when I talk they say my voice is raising in an awkward way, bottom line: any excuse to avoid and dump me!

I always end up alone, outcasted from any group of friends, even though some gossipers & backstabbers stay and get the credit for being (the best friends)!

I should just kill myself.

Do you live at home? Tell me about your family.

I want to die too. I am 36 year old female. Im losing everything and myself respect was the first to go. I hate myself and where I am at in my life. This is not what I wanted. I don't see my life being any other way except for ed up. I truly believe that 100%. It's messed up. I'm taking medication and I go to counseling. But I do not see any light at the end of the tunnel. I can overdose on pills. I don't know. I hate they way I feel everyday. I hate who I am and who I have become.

Maybe you should learn to be happy alone, that's what I do. How do you expect others to enjoy your company when you don't enjoy your own? And no, don't tell me you enjoy your own company because someone who does won't be complaining about all of this.

(notmissed, you need to start your own post because you are older and in a different situation.)

Ronny, you are contradicting yourself. Being ignored by some people isn't 'everyone hates me.' Then you say you are outcast and alone - EXCEPT you have this group of best friends? Friends do gossip and some do backstab and they expect you to fight back, even though that's not the kind of best friends you want.
It sounds like maybe you try too hard. Maybe you find it difficult to just be yourself instead of impressing people. I don't know; we aren't there. The two basic ingredients of finding friends are be natural and think of things to say nice about THEM. Don't try to make yourself look good.

There is hope for you... how do I know? Well, not for sure, no doubt--but I believe so--because of your words. There are people who say, "I hate MY LIFE and I want to die,"--in that case, they are typically blaming the outside world for their faults--"my life sucks because nobody cares, because this didn't go right, because something didn't happen--you put the blame squarely on yourself: "I hate who I am and who I've become." And by that burden--by admitting your faults and accepting blame--you open the door for what's called "teshuva," or repentance. Now you might not be "religious" or that--but I'm guessing you might be spiritual--that you believe in more than what the eye sees, and that there is meaning in things. It has been told that if you really mean it, you CAN fix tings--sadly, no, not completely perfect, but, well, acceptable, shall we say? You need to figure out, what can you do to rectify things? Forget about perfect--that ship has sailed, apparently---but think about how things can be fixed--and unless you murdered someone in cold blood, or another atrocity, believe there IS a fix. Good luck.

You would rather die than learn how to love yourself? Its not that hard, but takes some time. Just be good to yourself, and find the things you enjoy, and stop hanging with negative shallow people.

The easiest way to find what you enjoy, is try things on your own. Explore and experiment while you are so young, and never give up, because you never know when you will find things you like. Accept the flaws in others, and you won't expect them to make you happy, they can't.

Trust me, when you make YOURSELF happy, then you will attract others to share it with.