It is easy to give advice when you are not the victim the devil is tossing around while everyone around you is moving forward. You repent, do everything right, deny yourself, have no fear for the devil, give to others without expecting anything in return but yet you keep moving backward. I trusted the word of God with my soul but Im kind of getting bitter. I know there is God and I also know that he is not with me right now. I have lost this battle. I don't know if this is a test but Im not job, I am tired. I have given up. If you know me personally, you will be surprised bcos I'm not the type to give up. My willpower is somewhere between diehard and immortal. God knows my heart, so there is no need holding back. It feels like if God does not even like me. Its like if Im being punished for a crime I committed in my past life. At times, I suspect that God wants us to do wrong bcos doing the right things has made me suffer too much in my 24 years of existence. The annoying part is that I am too young to pass through all these at once. What did I do right? Yes read me right because wrong is the new right. If it is a learning process, it has gotten to the point of destruction. My psyche is messed up. I don't know what is supposed to be right. Im being mocked. But God cannot be mocked. I have broken down. My self-confidence was derived from the fact that I was sure that God was on my side but now, God, I can't find. If you find God, tell him that he has forgotten his son who thought so much of him. I don't know where he is. The devil is messing with me and God could not have seen me in this condition and just ignore. I mean I won't see my child suffer and do nothing about it. How much more God. Im not holding back. Im pouring out my heart the way it is. The Bible encourages honesty after all.

Okay, tell me. What is really going on in your life?

You are too vague to even guess, normally it is us doing or causing the problems, and we merely try to blame the devil.

Next who ever told you it was easy, Name me one of the 12 followers of Christ that retired to a nice easy life. Which ones where arrested and thrown in jail, which ones were beaten, which ones went hungry, which ones were tortued and latter killed.

We are told we will be given the strength to get though it, not that it will be easy. Plus often God has to break us down, if we are to be remade, we have to be broken first

Here's what Thomas Jefferson said about misfortunes. When he was 20 years old:

"The most fortunate of us, in our journey through life, frequently meet with calamities and misfortunes which may greatly afflict us; and, to fortify our minds against the attacks of these calamities and misfortunes should be one of the principal studies and endeavors of our lives. The only method of doing this is to assume a perfect resignation to the Divine will, to consider that whatever does happen, must happen; and that, by our uneasiness, we cannot prevent the blow before it does fall, but we may add to its force after it has fallen. These considerations, and others such as these, may enable us in some measure to surmount the difficulties thrown in our way; to bear up with a tolerable degree of patience under the burden of life; and to proceed with a pious and unshaken resignation, till we arrive at our journey's end, when we may deliver up our trust into the hands of Him who gave it, and receive such reward as to him shall seem proportioned to our merit."

THOMAS JEFFERSON, letter to John Page, Jul. 15, 1763

I think he is saying that we can make things worse by not accepting that unavoidable calamities may come our way, and giving up will just make it worse (worsen the blow) because it puts our faith in question for which we will be judged.

Not knowing much detail, that is all I can offer. I can only assume from what you said that you feel that you have to sin to protect your child. That wouldn't meet Jefferson's specifications. There are normally other means available to protect a child.

Can you please clearly describe what's happening in your life right now?

It is easy to give advice when you are not the victim the devil is tossing around while everyone around you is moving forward. you repent, do everything right, deny yourself, have no fear for the devil, give to others without expecting anything in return but yet you keep moving backward. I trusted the word of God with my soul but Im kind of getting bitter. I know there is God and I also know that he is not with me right now. I have lost this battle. I dont know if this is a test but Im not job, I am tired. I have given up. If you know me personally, you will be surprised bcos im not the type to give up. My willpower is somewhere between diehard and immortal. God knows my heart, so there is no need holding back. It feels like if God does not even like me. Its like if Im being punished for a crime I committed in my past life. At times, I suspect that God wants us to do wrong bcos doing the right things has made me suffer too much in my 24 years of existence. The annoying part is that I am too young to pass through all these at once. What did I do right? yes read me right because wrong is the new right. If it is a learning process, it has gotten to the point of destruction. my psyche is messed up. I dont know what is supposed to be right. Im being mocked. but God cannot be mocked. I have broken down. My self-confidence was derived from the fact that I was sure that God was on my side but now, God, I can't find. If you find God, tell him that he has forgotten his son who thought so much of him. I dont know where he is. The devil is messing with me and God could not have seen me in this condition and just ignore. I mean I wont see my child suffer and do nothing about it. How much more God. Im not holding back. Im pouring out my heart the way it is. The Bible encourages honesty afterall.

Reading Psalms is always of great comfort to me when I am losing faith.

When I pray to God I also often feel he is not listening. Hope this is helpful.

Psalms 121

I look up to the mountains-does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord, who made the heavens and the earth!

He will not let you stumble and fall; the one who watches over you will not sleep.
Indeed, he watches over Israel never tires never sleeps.

The Lord himself watches over you!
The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.

The sun will not hurt you by day,
Nor the moon at night.

The Lord keeps you from all evil and preserves your life.
The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go,
Both now and forever.

Patience is important so he can answer you when you are where you need to be.

You are on a wonderful journey and the devil is a liar. I have prayed for you and will continue to lift you up in prayer. You are not alone!

I called God out big time in my life. I have told God I wanted to beat his . I had an experience that changed the way I was raised and every thing I was taught to believe. God to me is our heart he keeps everything beating and when it is tired we will no longer be. We have always been and will always be. We are living on this planet and surrounded by self serving humans. Son, in your 24 years it sounds like you have stood up and preached the bible and people, your church let you down. God is bigger than you or me. Your church is about control and I believe in that control if you do. As a society we need religion to control the self-serving humans who would just kill, rape, and take. Brother when we die we do go some place and its not over. But I have to say God has no idea who you are. You have to do something to change this messed up world. You have to keep standing up for good and being wounded because God is not human brother. How can your God prove to you he cares? Life is so much deeper and who we are is explosive. I suggest you get a job to help others and save real lives from disease and injury and surround yourself with good people. Join a church because people do care, join a hockey team but prey for it to forgive you for your sins as that keeps you human and not a killing dictator. Your OK, But I feel God will never reward you for doing the right thing.

I called God out big time in my life. I have told God I wanted to beat his . I had an experience that changed the way I was raised and every thing I was taught to believe. God to me is our heart he keeps everything beating and when it is tired we will no longer be. We have always been and will always be. We are living on this planet and surrounded by self serving humans. Son, in your 24 years it sounds like you have stood up and preached the bible and people, your church let you down. God is bigger than you or me. Your church is about control and I believe in that control if you do. As a society we need religion to control the self-serving humans who would just kill, rape, and take. Brother when we die we do go some place and its not over. But I have to say God has no idea who you are. You have to do something to change this messed up world. You have to keep standing up for good and being wounded because God is not human brother. How can your God prove to you he cares? Life is so much deeper and who we are is explosive. I suggest you get a job to help others and save real lives from disease and injury and surround yourself with good people. Join a church because people do care, join a hockey team but prey for it to forgive you for your sins as that keeps you human and not a killing dictator. Your ok, But I feel God will never reward you for doing the right thing.


Your other post on the bereavement board concerns me - "Your experience touched me. I died and left my body. I struggle with the feeling that I did die and came back to a different dimension living in a world I am not from. If I am right your man woke up to you in the hospital and you have kids in his new universe." https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/bereavement/boyfriend-best-friend-died-639804-2.html

Can you explain this?