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View Full Version : In love with a girl that has a boyfriend. What to do?


Slipknot696
Jul 19, 2012, 12:39 PM
I dated this girl back in 8th grade and my freshman year of high school. I had strong feelings for her but I didn't know what the feelings were because I was young and figured it was nothing. We broke up and went our own ways. Years have come and gone and every now and again we would talk but never anything serious. I am now 24 and I've had girlfriends but she always comes to mind. I'm in love with her and haven't felt this way about anyone.

I'm not an open person about feelings but I just opened up and told her how I felt. I wrote her a long e-mail trying to put years worth of feelings into words. I could never get the chance to tell her in person because we don't see each other. I wasn't expecting anything from it, just needed her to know how I felt. Later on in the day she answered and said she couldn't do anything because she's in a relationship. I understood and was just happy knowing that she knows how I feel about her.

Later that night she text me which was surprising because I figured she would've deleted my number years ago and after a few minutes, she calls me. Toward the end of the conversation I told her that I appreciate her answering my message because I thought she would just ignore it. She then said that she read every word and doesn't understand how after so many years, I feel the way that I do. She then went on and said that she has her reasons to ignore me though. I asked why and she said that the message I sent, texting, and talking on the phone with me is bad for her relationship and that she doesn't want to catch feelings. So I asked if she was then she just said hey I'm going to go, talk to you later. We hung up but I text her a few minutes later with an inside joke and a goodnight and figured that was the end of it. Later on she answered with a goodnight and said that this is the reason why she wants to ignore me because now she's thinking about me.

Now I don't know what to do because this is beyond what I was expecting. There might, MIGHT be a little glimmer of hope there and she might actually have feelings for me judging by the conversation we had.

jayblais
Jul 19, 2012, 12:53 PM
Bro this is actually really good but its bad for the other guy but look if you guys are made for each other then it should happen. Tell her that if she wants to talk your there for her and that if she wants to stop talking to you she can but tell her your always going to be there for her and maybe slip in that you love her depends of the situation.

I really want to help u cause I felt the same before o worries k chow

snaily567
Jul 19, 2012, 12:59 PM
I am a girl going into the 8th grade so I know what is happening. One way you could solve the problem is to find a non-distracting place like a park and tell her how you really feel and how long this has been going on. Another way is just to give up and find someone else. I hope this helps!!

talaniman
Jul 19, 2012, 01:14 PM
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/long-read-she-says-she-loves-me-but-339072.html

Same girl from 3 YEARS ago?? Didn't work then, not going to work now, so leave her alone. I mean completely alone, because she IS in a relationship, so respect it.

Slipknot696
Jul 19, 2012, 01:20 PM
No it's not the same girl. That wasn't love

Slipknot696
Jul 19, 2012, 02:09 PM
Anymore advice?

talaniman
Jul 19, 2012, 02:13 PM
Later on in the day she answered and said she couldn't do anything because she's in a relationship. I understood and was just happy knowing that she knows how I feel about her... She then went on and said that she has her reasons to ignore me though. I asked why and she said that the message I sent, texting, and talking on the phone with me is bad for her relationship and that she doesn't want to catch feelings. So I asked if she was then she just said hey I'm going to go, talk to you later. We hung up but I text her a few minutes later with an inside joke and a goodnight and figured that was the end of it. Later on she answered with a goodnight and said that this is the reason why she wants to ignore me because now she's thinking about me.

Your response to any more contact,

"Sorry to have heaped this on you out of the blue, and I will respect your relationship.".

I think you have only piquéd her curiosity, and should leave her alone for both your sakes as tempting as it is to stay in contact.

A gentleman would know to back all the way off this situation, and not cause confusion with settling for that friendship crap, or even allowing her to believe YOU can be JUST a friend.

Think of that before you send those love feelings out of the blue to a past crush. Let the emotional dust settle on this my friend. No texting, or flirting, or inside jokes.

Slipknot696
Jul 19, 2012, 02:24 PM
I agree with you talaniman. The only thing is that she isn't some past crush. I genuinely am in love with her and have been for some time. I want to be more than a friend with her. If and this is a big if, if we were to date again, it might sound ridiculous but I could see myself spending the rest of my life with her. But you're right, I will respect her relationship and back off