I'll be turning 20 on August 5th and my boyfriend is getting me some lingerie to wear for him... I am not happy with this because I feel like him buying me lingerie isn't actually something for me... I feel like it's something for his enjoyment not mine.. am I wrong for feeling this way?

If he's really, really smart, he'd buy you something for you and save the lingerie idea as a fun surprise.

What sort of things would you like for your birthday? Does he have a clue what they might be? (And yes, I agree with you about it's more for him than for you.)

If he's really, really smart, he'd buy you something for you and save the lingerie idea as a fun surprise.

What sort of things would you like for your birthday? Does he have a clue what they might be? (And yes, I agree with you about it's more for him than for you.)

I would like something like flowers or a necklace or a cute shirt... anything would be better than lingerie! My birthday is suppose to be about me and it's like he is making it about him.. Yes he knows I've talked to him about it and even told him that him getting me that is basically saying Happy Birthday now go get naked for me!. In my opinion that's something to do for like Valentine's day or like you said buy me something and save that for later...

He sounds like an insensitive idiot and you may need to come right out and tell him that. If he continues and insists on buying it and nothing else, and it bothers you still, tell him you will not be modeling it for him at all.

I'll be turning 20 on August 5th and my boyfriend is getting me some lingerie to wear for him....i am not happy with this because i feel like him buying me lingerie isn't actually something for me...i feel like it's something for his enjoyment not mine..am i wrong for feeling this way?


You're 19, he's 32. He wants sex. You don't.

Now do you understand the gift of lingerie? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-sexuality/7-month-relationship-no-sex-all-672133.html#post3160900

You're 19, he's 32. He wants sex. You don't.

Now do you understand the gift of lingerie? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-sexuality/7-month-relationship-no-sex-all-672133.html#post3160900


But there hasn't been any sex at all so I don't know what the point of lingerie is with no sex going on... to beat it all he wants hello kitty lingerie... I was shocked to know they even make hello kitty lingerie...

but there hasnt been any sex at all so idk what the point of lingerie is with no sex going on.... to beat it all he wants hello kitty lingerie... i was shocked to know they even make hello kitty lingerie...


He has problems on many levels - one of them is wanted to buy Hello Kitty lingerie.

Now that I'm finished laughing at your comment ("I was shocked to know ..." I truly find him scary. I would be out of there. I've been working all day, your comment has me hysterical (probably because I'm tired) but I HAVE to do what "Hello Kitty" lingerie looks like!

Wow... Hello Kitty Lingerie? What does he wantr to do, pretend you're some kind of little kid?

Yeah, I don't know how much of this I would even be willing to deal with. He sounds like a true loser from this and your other post. Why are you still with him?

You're 19, he's 32. He wants sex. You don't.

Now do you understand the gift of lingerie? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-sexuality/7-month-relationship-no-sex-all-672133.html#post3160900

Okay I get it, but he may not ever!

Whatever do you want with a 32 year old? Can't you have a relationship with men your own age or closer. Is it the attention? This may end up badly for you when he has has enough of your 'not now please I am too bored, to tired, or buy me something else and I will think about it' attitude.

but there hasnt been any sex at all so idk what the point of lingerie is with no sex going on.... to beat it all he wants hello kitty lingerie... i was shocked to know they even make hello kitty lingerie...
Is this a game with you? If so, it is a dangerous one. You had better be careful of putting him off too many times.

I feel sorry that he is being led on by you. You have no intention of playing his game.

Is this a game with you? If so, it is a dangerous one. You had better be careful of putting him off too many times.

I feel sorry that he is being led on by you. You have no intention of playing his game.
Yes I read your 'other' thread.

Whatever do you want with a 32 year old? Can't you have a relationship with men your own age or closer. Is it the attention?? This may end up badly for you when he has has enough of your 'not now please I am too bored, to tired, or buy me something else and I will think about it' attitude.

I don't have a bad attitude and I'm not the one with the excuses when it comes to having sex he does I have tried to have sex with him and he won't... I am not wrong for expecting to get something personal for my birthday other than lingerie... he never buys me crap so how can I have a buy me this attitude?. I thought an older guy would treat me better that's why... shouldnt you be asking him why he is with a 19 year old? Maybe because HE likes the attention of being with a young girl... he's the one who is older but I'm the bad one... ok.. I came here for advice not to be told that I have a "not now i'm tired...buy me this and ill think about it" attitude when I don't

Is this a game with you? If so, it is a dangerous one. You had better be careful of putting him off too many times.

I feel sorry that he is being led on by you. You have no intention of playing his game.

How am I playing a game with him? I'm the one who does whatever he wants all the time... im not leading him on... I don't know why your saying all this crap when you have NO IDEA what you are talking about

how am i playing a game with him? im the one who does whatever he wants all the time....im not leading him on... idk why ur saying all this crap when you have NO IDEA what you are talking about

I have a very good idea what I am talking about. And you can stop with the text speak, it is not acceptable here.

Why are you with a man twice your age?

What do you have in common with a man twice your age ?

Is this a game with you? If so, it is a dangerous one. You had better be careful of putting him off too many times.

I feel sorry that he is being led on by you. You have no intention of playing his game.




I have read the other thread and I think others need to re-read it. I got nothing in that thread where the OP has said she is withholding sex from him... I got out of it that he is doing this to her and he is the one making excuses about it all.

This makes the whole thing even more difficult to understand. He won't have sex with her and makes excuses but now he wants to buy Hello Kitty lingerie for them to get it on... I really think he is looking to make her look even younger. I think this guy has some deep seated issues.

I have a very good idea what I am talking about. And you can stop with the text speak, it is not acceptable here.

Why are you with a man twice your age?

What do you have in common with a man twice your age ?


All I am doing is typing normal so say whatever you want lol I don't think you going around picking on people turning their situations around to make them look bad should be acceptable here... anyways I'm not going to argue with someone who has no idea what they are talking about.. have a good day and if you are going to keep being negative you can stop posting on my thread

I have read the other thread and I think others need to re-read it. I got nothing in that thread where the OP has said she is withholding sex from him...I got out of it that he is doing this to her and he is the one making excuses about it all.

This makes the whole thing even more difficult to understand. He won't have sex with her and makes excuses but now he wants to buy Hello Kitty lingerie for them to get it on....I really think he is looking to make her look even younger. I think this guy has some deep seated issues.

Thank you... I am glad to know someone read it right and isn't being judgemental lol :)

All i am doing is typing normal so say whatever you want lol i dont think you going around picking on people turning their situations around to make them look bad should be acceptable here...anyways i'm not gonna argue with someone who has no idea what they are talking about.. have a good day and if you are gonna keep being negative you can stop posting on my thread


You had me on your side right up until you started directing who should post and how.

For whatever reason you don't appear to be able to be civil to respected long-time members of AMHD.

If you disagree with "Tickle," address her concerns like an adult. I question why a man in his 30's would put up with the attitude I am seeing here.

You had me on your side right up until you started directing who should post and how.

For whatever reason you don't appear to be able to be civil to respected long-time members of AMHD.

If you disagree with "Tickle," address her concerns like an adult. I question why a man in his 30's would put up with the attitude I am seeing here.

Well all I have to say to that is I was civil to her I did not cuss or be rude.. I also did handle it like an adult I think the childish thing here was her saying rude things to me that had nothing to do with my post.. I did not tell people how to post and who all I said is if she was going to keep being rude and downing me that she could just not post on my thread anymore because I come here to get friendly advice not to be put down and she was putting me down so I did have the right to defend myself.. anyone in my shoes would say don't post on my thread if you are going to down me in every comment.. you want to say respected member she sure didn't act like one I would not have had a problem if she would have said her opinion in a non disrespectful way.. none of you know my life so none of you have the right to post comments that way.. I must be doing something right he sure has stuck around almost a year.. anyone I know would tell you I'm one of the best people you could ever find and that I am not the problem.. atleast I can close my eyes tonight and know I was the respectful adult in this situation.. I don't even want to be on this site if all it's full of is disrespectful "adults"..

Well all i have to say to that is i was civil to her i did not cuss or be rude.. i also did handle it like an adult i think the childish thing here was her saying rude things to me that had nothing to do with my post..i did not tell people how to post and who all i said is if she was gonna keep being rude and downing me that she could just not post on my thread anymore because i come here to get friendly advice not to be put down and she was putting me down so i did have the right to defend myself..anyone in my shoes would say don't post on my thread if you are going to down me in every comment..you wanna say respected member she sure didn't act like one i would not have had a problem if she would have said her opinion in a non disrespectful way..none of you know my life so none of you have the right to post comments that way.. i must be doing something right he sure has stuck around almost a year..anyone i know would tell you i'm one of the best people you could ever find and that i am not the problem..atleast i can close my eyes tonight and know i was the respectful adult in this situation..i don't even wanna be on this site if all it's full of is disrespectful "adults"..


Read what you posted: "i did not tell people how to post and who all i said is if she was gonna keep being rude and downing me that she could just not post on my thread anymore" Isn't that directing who can and how to answer.

Why does "he" stick around for almost a year? I have no idea - I have my suspicions but no firm ideas.

Well, if you want to leave no one can stop you.

You're going to stay with him?