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Damsel210
Jul 18, 2012, 06:38 AM
My boyfriend of 10 months yesterday freaked out because I told him I ran into my

I got home and we cooked dinner together. He seemed upset the whole time. So I was trying to be cheery. I encouraged him to take a nap since I know he was sleep deprived. He finally ended up taking a nap. An hour later I woke him up and he was again very y. I finally put my foot down and told him that I have given him 3 hours to deal with this issue and if he doesn't snap out of it now I will go out to meet with some friends.

This is where his abuse started. He started bringing up the past and how much he hates him. He asked to go for a walk but he came right back accusing me of "going to talk to my ex". He kept fighting with me. Finally he drove off with tires screeching. He was sending me texts of how in the past I've seem to place my exs feelibg before his. I ignored all the messages and decided to meet my best friend who I tentatively had agreed to meet to take my mind of things. 1.5 hours later when I arrived he wasn't home. I decided to give him a call, after all he sent me 15 texts.. One of which said this - I can see what is between us but on days like this it doesn't take much to f@@@& remind me how he has always tried to devalue our relationship and how after knowing all that, not hurting him came first in the past.

He answered and told me his out by a park so I decided to go for drive myself. I was having a hard time believing what was happening. I hadn't done anything wrong. I have been faithful to my boyfriend and he has mo doubt about that.

He followed me to where my car was. Came in my car showed me his broken iPhone. Which he apparently threw and caused it to break. He said I'll see you at home bacause my phone isn't working. He closed my car door, went out and threw the phone again, came back in my car and there the phone in my car, after which he accused me of a bad having a bad character. At this point I decided to drive to a lake. He followed me to the lake. Followed me around. I sat by the lake, he say by me. The whole time I pretended like I'm alone.

I decided to go home, he followed me home and apologized. By this time I'm emotionally drained! I had not done anything! Why did he cause this scene.

My biggest concern is the breaking of his iPhone. He had thrown his phone once before in an argument. He has hit his hand twice on the wall. What gives. What is his issue?

He is so sweet, caring, nice, would do anything for me kind of a guy. If I say my stomach hurts. He runs to get me hot water bag, tums. He is very caring but what is his obsession with self destruction? It not only hurts him financially, physically but it is hurting our relationship. The thing he values the most.

What should I do? I hope I didn't confuse in my rant.

Prak the lycan
Jul 18, 2012, 08:44 AM
Dear sis,
I feel there is nothing wrong with your relationship. I feel that your Bf is very possessive about you and fears losing you which I believe is a good thing. And regarding his breaking the phone and hitting his hand on the wall thing is to shed his anger as soon as possible so that he does not show his anger towards you. From what you said I agree upon you that he respects you, feels for you and care for you and most importantly loves you. Just help him stay calm. I hope it was helpful. Good luck.

JudyKayTee
Jul 18, 2012, 12:16 PM
Dear sis,
I feel there is nothing wrong with your relationship. I feel that your Bf is very possessive about you and fears losing you which i believe is a good thing. And regarding his breaking the phone and hitting his hand on the wall thing is to shed his anger as soon as possible so that he does not show his anger towards you. From what you said I agree upon you that he respects you, feels for you and care for you and most importantly loves you. Just help him stay calm. I hope it was helpful. Good luck.


She's not your "sis." You don't see a problem with his possessiveness and control? That's A GOOD THING?

A person who loves you doesn't put you through this emotional turmoil. His anger today which is uncontrolled and aimed at objects could turn on her at any time.

Where do you see that he respects her, feels for her, cares for her and loves her? Even if the did those "feelings" do not excuse abuse.

odinn7
Jul 18, 2012, 12:28 PM
Dear sis,
I feel there is nothing wrong with your relationship. I feel that your Bf is very possessive about you and fears losing you which i believe is a good thing.........Just help him stay calm.


That is terrible advice. Being possessive to the point that it seems in this question is not a good thing... not at all. LOL... "Just help him stay calm." Seriously? She should have to walk on eggshells and make sure he stays calm? Why is that her problem, especially when she claims here that she did nothing wrong that started this whole thing?

This guy has severe anger issues and I wonder when the time will come that she angers him enough that he decides to hit her instead of his phone.

To the OP, I think I would re-evaluate this whole relationship. This guy sounds like he is a control freak who is so consumed by jealousy that he doesn't care how it affects you. I could be wrong but I bet I'm not.

Damsel210
Jul 18, 2012, 01:12 PM
Thank you for your support. I'm evaluating my relationship and have given him the ulitimatium of counseling until I make up my mind.