We don't live together right now and I was at his place and we were just sitting around and I went to get on the internet on his phone and some porn popped up instead.

I'm not sure why but as soon as it came up I got an anxious feeling.
I'm not mad that it's porn (which is what he thinks) because I've watched porn.
I can't figure out if I'm feeling jealous, insecure, or just feeling not good enough.
When we talked about it he said it was before we made our videos together.
I had no idea he even watched it still, I knew he was over a year ago before we got together. A lot of me is mad at myself for making him feel he had to hide it, he has no reason to be embarrassed I don't judge him for it, I'm totally fine with porn. I'd have no problem watching it with him.

He said (defensively) It was way before we made our videos we made together.
I'm overall pretty insecure and I'm sure that has a lot if not everything to do with it. Now he's saying he's sorry he won't watch it. Which I know is not true just something to ease my mind.

So I told him, No it's totally fine it's just self issues I need to work on.
It's not like he's going to stop anyway. I just need help with figuring out why it's so hard for me to deal with.

I hate that he feels he can't share that with me and that he feels embarrassed and now probably feels like he has to continue hiding it because of the way I reacted.

I just need a little bit of wisdom and maybe some ideas on how to get over my insecurity and figure out why I can't get over it.

First you need to evaluate your feelings and what exactly is making you feel insecure. Is it a fear of not satisfying him? Is it something to do with looks? Do you feel the girls in porn are more attractive? Is it a controlling thing? He hid it to take the path of least resistance. Sometimes I keep harmless things from people because I know it will only cause upset and aggravation. Guys are only straight forward when they know you can handle the honest to God truth.

I'm a girl and even when I lived with a boyfriend I still watched porn and masterbated. It wasn't that he didn't get me off. Sometimes he just wasn't within reach. Every guy has a porn stash. Sometimes I think it helps them fulfill fantasies like threesomes or whatever that they can't attain in real life. As long as you both are happy with your sex life try and shrug it off.

Yeah, it's really not anything to worry about. Every dude watches porn, even when he's in a loving, sexual satisfying relationship. And as great as your relationship is, there is no such thing as a relationship in which people talk to each other about everything they think and do. There is no way, no way, I would tell me girlfriend that I watch porn, althout I'm sure she already knows, or assumes that I do. Why would he tell you? It's irrelevant. Anyway, that's my male opinion. Don't sweat it. Be happy. Enjoy sex with your boyfriend.