spanishGirl_16
Jul 15, 2012, 10:24 PM
Ok so, I met this boy when I was 12 almost turning 13, now I am 16 and he's 22.. So I've known him for some time now and well we turned out to be pretty good friends since the day we met. Ohh I forgot, I live in Florida and he lives in Arkansas, I have cuzins in Arkansas that know him.. But anyway when we first met on Facebook we would chat everyday and we got pretty close as friends hhmm I would view his pictures and would say he's pretty cute but never really had feelings for him but then we kind of stopped tlking for a while he found a girlfriend and well I started dating someone too and then suddenly we started tlkin again like friends of course time after him and his girlfriend brokeup and me n my boyfriend also broke up but like it didn't really matter because I didn't have feelings for him yet and well another long time passed like probably months without talking and then its just went like that we would talk but then stop talking again.. then one night I txted him I was 14 n he was 20 n well he told me if I wanted,to date him n,well I said yes but I guess we do got a little crush for each other then the next day he brokeup with me because he said we were too apart from each other distance wise so I said ohh all right I mean it,didn't really affect me... We kept being good friends & then another year,passes and we would be friends lik normally we talkd at times and then we didn't then one time I had txted him and me and my boyfriend had just broken up so I was feeling lonely and I needed a friend to tlk,to so,I txted him and turns out,he was feeling the same way because,things weren't working out with his girlfriend eitherln they had broken up so I,tlkd to him and he told me thanks to me he was feeling way much better and thankd me for that and then he asked me to be his girlfriend so I said yes so this time we dated for 2 months then he brokeup with me and this time I was hurt really bad I was crying and crying for him then after a week I txtd him and he told me he was tlkin to his friend n,stuff n,that he was,thinking about me n,that it was funny how I txted him when he was thinking about me so he told me ima call you so I got excited and he calld me n,asked me for another chance I was the hapiest girl alive I couldn't,resist it and couldn't stop smiling so that happened and we went out for one more month then,things got,worse :/ he brokeup with me again and my happyness ended and my smile erased I kept txtin n,txtin him all,the time,to,please giv it another chance... lets know I am I was and I am deeply in love with this boy.. I never ever felt like this for anyone before.. Every time I see his name on Facebook or a picture if him my heart skips a beat... OK so well he ended up telling me he cheated on and well yes I'm dumb enough to tell him I was willing to forgive him but it didn't work so that happens turns out he starts datin a girl that lives in the town he lives and she's 15 that girl when were dating she once posted something on his wall and tagged him on a pik of her and of course I got jealous and askd him he replied by telling me she was just "a friend" and what a lie! So they start datin I meet a guy over here and we start datin but honestly I like him but I cnt love him because my heart is still with the other guy and its so hard :/ almost a month later I see he puts on fb he went from "in a relationship" to " single" and of course I was really happy so I kind of committed the mistake to message him and askd him if he was all right and well he said yea that he would get over it and bla bla and he also apologized because soposly the girl had played him and stuff and hr.apologized for what he did to me and that now karma was getting him and that he deserved it so I wrote him a whole paragraph about how I still felt the same for him and he said wow I'm amazed you still feel the same for me I'm pretty I call fall back in love with you because your absolutely beautiful and really really sweet " so im over here "aaww" yess!! So we talked for 2 days straight until he was acting a lil weird with me n then I saw on fb he was in a relationship with her again n I askd n he said yes im really sorry we tlkd things out n wat I heard was a lie... And of course I was devastated I didnt know what to do he broke my heart again :( but then two days later I had a dream with him n I woke up crying and asking myself why can't u b mines again and I posted somethin on fb because I was mad at myself for crying for him again and he calld me! I was crying and couldnt speak I had a knot in my throat but then I answered " its cyz I still love you and you cnt be mines no more because your someone else's :"(" and he gave me a whole speech about how he didn't mean to do what he was doing that it made him sad knowing I was sad and crying because if him and that I had to be strong and patient and mayb god will put us together one say and that if we were meant to be god will find a way to cross our paths and have us together again and bla bla bla so I smile and I said OK ima try after that I felt a little bettr I'm not going to lie not completely though then he started to blow up my notifications on fb it brought a smile to my face... He had also told me in the fone that he was losing all the patience with the girl because she never apretiated that he did so much for her and stuff and that she was very different from me that I was really mature in relationships for my age something she didn't have and that we thought differently and I had told him that I was losing patience for my boyfriend too because he really didn't pay attention to me and stuff and he told me if he don't treat lik you want to and if your not happy den break up with him... N also bfor when him and his girlfriend had broken up the first time and that we were messaging he tld me he got kind of jealous seeing da piktures me and my boyfriend had because he was lucky he coukd hold me in his arms and kiss me something he couldn't do because we were far away from each other and that.. That was the only thing separating us and that if I was over there he would definitely choose me over her so yeah that happened... Then lik 3 or 4 days later they brokeup again I got happy again I txtd but I got no reply :/ I see he puts a status that said "youve opend my eyes.. N dat I see ur tears n everytime u say I love you I feel it n that theyr thing was gettin more serious" but bfor he had put that he had gaven up but anyway I thought the other status was for me but I wasn't sure dats why I txted him but I got no reply lik I said.. A few min. Later I see he was in a relationship again that's how I knew that status wasn't for me :/ so I kind of cried again and he broke my heart once again... I don't understand wats going on or wats his point the thing is that no matter what I try to forget him I CNT n I still am loving him with all my heart and this is really really hard for me because I cnt fight for him because the same problem IM TOO FAR AWAY :(.. N yes I want to give up on him but my heart keeps telling me keep trying! But I don't know if I can resist more of this every time he hurts me and the girl added me and I accepted and everytim I see her put somthin on his wall or stuff lik that I feel my heart drops and I feel I can't breath.. All of this has been really hard for me I swear I can't take it anymore but I cnt give up that's the thing I love him so much and I don't know why but I feel he's the one for me but every time I just loose faith because he's not trying and ima try my best in school because I need to mir years to graduate high school and my family is planning to move to Texas because I want to go to college ovr there wich is going to make it easier to see him because Texas is much closer to Arkansas but I think two years is too much time so I'm saving up to go to tx and see some if my family ovr there in December and I'm hoping to get to see him but I don't know what to do in the meanwhile its just so difficult seeing my baby is someone else's now :( n that he actually loves her :/ its devastating I mean we don't got memories in person but we got a lot of things we've tlkd about that I remember all the time and its so sad because we actually plannd getting married and a lot of cute things that kills me evry time I remember them I need some advice please try to give me more faith or something to help me be patient I really believe in our love or at least the love I have fir him but everyday that passes by I lose faith I don't know what to do :( he's someone really special and I love him alottttt... Pleaseee helpp!!