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lehcar6
Jul 15, 2012, 01:11 AM
I am currently in england and my now ex girlfriend is in america.. I am in a gay relationship. I am looking to go to america to her uni to study which is my dream and recently she has split up with me and gave me the reason that she wanted me to base my decision on going to america for me and not for her. Which is completely understandable however she has absolutely broke my heart and is now making my decision so hard. I love her more than anything and will do anything to have her back. She says right now the best thing for us to do is to be apart. I know she loves me but she clearly isn't in love with me anymore. I have been so strong and not contacted her to try and make her miss me - SHE HAD missed me and it had worked a little then I got drunk and blurted out all my feelings saying how much she had hurt me and how upset I've been. I know I shouldn't have and I had the ball in my court to start with and now my ex is mad at me for saying things I didn't mean she knows why I've not contacted her when I wanted her to think I was moving on now she knows I haven't spoke just because of how upset I am... I lost and I am so scared that I have lost her. I NEED to get her back and make her realise that I am what she wants. Is it too late ? PLEASE help me :(

joypulv
Jul 15, 2012, 01:59 AM
The only way we can help you is to tell you over and over that no one can 'make' anyone feel anything they don't feel. You also don't 'need to get her back;' you want her back, and that's not going to happen, at least not unless she wants it. Changing your mindset about how relationships work is key to getting over this. Your thinking is filled with words like 'she broke my heart -' no, your heart is broken over her. Stop being her victim. You are your own victim. She sounds like a very wise and healthy woman, who absolutely is making sure you don't jump into a new country just for love, a potential disaster if it doesn't work out. Be glad you know her and might someday be with her again, but not for now. Nurture the friendship if you can possibly force yourself to keep it 'just friends.'