How can I trust my boyfriend? I'm always so worried about him. I always think he’s cheating on me. We live in the same land, just not in the same village. And when I’m with him I trust him but when I’m not with him I can’t trust him because I’m always thinking he’s with someone else. I mean I ask him if he’s hiding something from me and the way he says "No" makes me think.

Some days ago we had a fight because some random girl copied a load of messages over fb where he had asked her to go out like 10 times and I talked to him about it but he said it was only a joke. But I don’t believe it's a joke.

It's so hard for me to trust him. I love him so much but I can't find a way too trust him. If I had a friend to work this out with (which I don't) I wouldn’t have to ask out here but I don't have any friends so... Please somebody help me I’m dying of all this pain.

Is trust his problem or yours? Has he done anything that makes you think you can't trust him?

Why don't you have any friends? That concerns me and makes me think you are putting all of your apples in your boyfriend's basket -- that is, you depend on him too much to be everything in your life.

Is trust his problem or yours? Has he done anything that makes you think you can't trust him?

I don't know I'm just kind of nervous you know, I can't know what he's up too -.- and I'm always wondering why he won't awnser me, I always think he's hiding something from me I don't know why I just can't figure this out


Is trust his problem or yours? Has he done anything that makes you think you can't trust him?

Why don't you have any friends? That concerns me and makes me think you are putting all of your apples in your boyfriend's basket -- that is, you depend on him too much to be everything in your life.

Hmm I've always had a hard time on getting friends I don't know why...

It sounds like your lack of trust is driving him away. He will be less and less inclined to answer your calls and texts if he thinks you will immediately be on his case and questioning him about his every move.

How old are you, and how old is he?

How old are you, and how old is he?

Well I'm going to turn 15 and he's 16


It sounds like your lack of trust is driving him away. He will be less and less inclined to answer your calls and texts if he thinks you will immediately be on his case and questioning him about his every move.

He never texts me that's what's sad he never call's me too ask how I'm doing not even too say I love you or goodnight and that is really heartbreaking!

So that means you are 14. And he is your first boyfriend?

You do realize and understand that, if you keep after him to find out the "truth" of where he has been and who he has been with and what he has been doing, he will becoming history, right?

Can you think of any adults who have let you down in the past, maybe when you were a little girl?

No actually he's my second boyfriend

How was the first one? Did he call and text and say he loved you? And what happened that he isn't around any longer?

My ex was a pain in the this boyfriend I have now was always so jealouse of me dating my ex I dumped my ex cause he didin't go to anything alll he did was sit in the Laptop, day in and day out and he just came online to talk with other girls not me , the boyfriend I have now does so much more, but at this time he hasen't wrote so much to me, he never text's me..

No my ex never called me never texted me

Do you see there is a difference in how girls handle relationships at your age and how boys handle them?

Yeah kind of

I just don't know what to do anymore </3

Boys live for right now -- what fun can I have and what games can I play and what foods can I eat -- most of it satisfying physical needs and wants.

Girls on the other hand are dreamy creatures full of romantic thoughts and who cry while looking at a beautiful sunset and wonder who they will marry and how many babies they will have.

Do you see the difference?

It's not you. It's not him. Males and females have sometimes very different styles of relating to each other and to the world around them. If you can understand and accept this fact, you will save yourself much agony for the rest of your life

Now, what can you do about this situation?

No it's all my fault I might just end this I end up screwing everything up anyway, no wonder he dosen't text me, I'm ruining he's life ! I mean just cause I'm so worried, if I really loved him I wouldn't go round saying that he was hiding something from me, I guess I'm just curius and scared to lose him...

No it's all my fault i might just end this i end up screwing everything up anyways, no wonder he dosen't text me, im ruining he's life ! I mean just cause im so worried, if i really loved him i wouldn't go round saying that he was hiding something from me, i guess im just curius and scared to lose him ...
C'mon now -- get a grip! That's what we females are so good at, blaming ourselves and feeling mucho guilty! Stop playing the martyr card. It doesn't become you and it makes you look all silly and stupid.

And if you end this one, what about the next one and the next one and the next one?? Stop right here and let's get this situation under control.

Sweetheart, you are simply pushing him away from you. You are holding his chain too tightly. Just because he doesn't call you to ask how you are doesn't mean he doesn't care how you are. Guys are WAY different than girls, trust me. I'm engaged to a man who never just texts me or calls me and we've been together 5 happy years. It's not all about what you see in the movies. It's about what he does.

Sweetheart, you are simply pushing him away from you. You are holding his chain too tightly. Just because he doesn't call you to ask how you are doesn't mean he doesn't care how you are. Guys are WAY different than girls, trust me. I'm engaged to a man who never just texts me or calls me and we've been together 5 happy years. It's not all about what you see in the movies. It's about what he does.

Still I don't know what to do -.-

What you do is FORCE yourself to have a life aside from a boyfriend. You are both too young for intense relationships anyway. Your lack of girlfriends and other friends and other interests to keep you occupied is worrisome. You sound too needy.

Think of this as a summer school course in Relationships, with a final exam in one month! Your daily homework is to find stuff to do without him. You will find when you are an adult that without stories to bring home to talk about, stories from OTHER events in your life aside from that person, that you soon grow boring and unlikable and petty fighting starts. So get started on that new life, and report back in one month. It doesn't mean you will lose him (but you might be about to anyway, the way you are going) and it doesn't mean you will keep him, but it's what you need for this and all future relationships.

What you do is FORCE yourself to have a life aside from a boyfriend. You are both too young for intense relationships anyway. Your lack of girlfriends and other friends and other interests to keep you occupied is worrisome. You sound too needy.

Think of this as a summer school course in Relationships, with a final exam in one month! Your daily homework is to find stuff to do without him. You will find when you are an adult that without stories to bring home to talk about, stories from OTHER events in your life aside from that person, that you soon grow boring and unlikable and petty fighting starts. So get started on that new life, and report back in one month. It doesn't mean you will lose him (but you might be about to anyway, the way you are going) and it doesn't mean you will keep him, but it's what you need for this and all future relationships.

You know you're so not helping me here and I'm not about to lose him I'm just worried about him and NO ONE will help me
I haven't done anything wrong I've even talked to him today about what I think about him and he thinks the same way as I do.

You know you're so not helping me here and i'm not about to lose him im just worried about him and NO ONE will help me
i haven't done anything wrong i've even talked to him today about what i think about him and he thinks the exact same way as i do.
That's where joypulv is so right. You need to find other INTERESTING things to talk about with him besides your feelings for each other. You can see that is getting old real fast already.

What about him worries you?

That's where joypulv is so right. You need to find other INTERESTING things to talk about with him besides your feelings for each other. You can see that is getting old real fast already.

What about him worries you?

No you guys are so wrong if he cheats on me I'm blaming you and joypulv I came to get help not to get worse!

No you guys are so wrong if he cheats on me im blaming you and joypulv i came to get help not to get worse!
If he cheats on you, hmmm wonder why -- it's either something in him or something about your relationship with him.

Why does this worry you? What if he DOES cheat? Then what?

I get the feeling you are maybe 13. Am I close?

I'm 14 I'm going to be 15 soon you know what stay out of this I don't need help let me just fix this myself you obviously don't know how to control romance I love my boyfriend very much and I have bad feelings that he will cheat on me I don't know why maybe just cause I'm curius.I know he can have girls as friends too but still he dosen't always awnser me and I would love too get a text from him at least one day maybe just too see if he really cares. We had this fight once he has pmed a girl and that girl copied everything they wrote and he said it was a joke but I don't think it was he has been dating another girl before me I know it cause a friend told me but he didin't tell me on my own cause he didin't want to I could maybe just ask someone else for help or I can't deal with this

control romance.....too see if he really cares.
When you post on this site, anyone can respond. And believe it or not, I was once 14 years old. And guess what -- I have loved and lost boyfriends and have even dumped a few, so I'm no stranger to "romance."

You can't "control" romance. If that's what you think you have to do, you are either listening to immature friends or Hollywood/movie/tv reality show hype.

You don't chase him ceaselessly "to see if he really cares." There are better ways to find that out.

When you post on this site, anyone can respond. And believe it or not, I was once 14 years old. And guess what -- I have loved and lost boyfriends and have even dumped a few, so I'm no stranger to "romance."

You can't "control" romance. If that's what you think you have to do, you are either listening to immature friends or Hollywood/movie/tv reality show hype.

You don't chase him ceaselessly "to see if he really cares." There are better ways to find that out.

Whatever

Whatever? That's the response of someone who doesn't want to hear good advice and would rather keep letting suspicion gnaw at her insides. You came here asking how someone trusts someone, but don't want to know what it takes. So back you go, painfully hoping for that text and that promise of daily love, wondering what girls he's seeing, which ones he's more than just flirting with... hey, lots of luck - I'm out of here.

Whatever? That's the response of someone who doesn't want to hear good advice and would rather keep letting suspicion gnaw at her insides. You came here asking how someone trusts someone, but don't want to know what it takes. So back you go, painfully hoping for that text and that promise of daily love, wondering what girls he's seeing, which ones he's more than just flirting with... hey, lots of luck - I'm outta here.

I wasn't asking for advice I just wanted to know how to trust him that's all

"I just want to know... that's all.."
SIGH
First of all, answers are going to be in the form of advice. Why? Because there is no Rule Book of Trust. Trust, like love, is almost infinitely complicated. We are born helpless and trusting, we are taught to trust our parents and teachers and policemen and cars with airbags, then we are taught to beware of people that might not be trustworthy and animals that bite and streets with a lot of cars zipping by, and it get's harder and harder to know what and who to trust - for ALL OF US. It becomes a topic so complicated that you have to address it by the situation you are in. That's called advice.

"I just want to know... that's all.."
SIGH
First of all, answers are going to be in the form of advice. Why? Because there is no Rule Book of Trust. Trust, like love, is almost infinitely complicated. We are born helpless and trusting, we are taught to trust our parents and teachers and policemen and cars with airbags, then we are taught to beware of people that might not be trustworthy and animals that bite and streets with a lot of cars zipping by, and it get's harder and harder to know what and who to trust - for ALL OF US. It becomes a topic so complicated that you have to address it by the situation you are in. That's called advice.
Ok but how am I going to trust my boyfriend OK that's my last question !

You can't trust him nor should you because you have evidence that he was doing things behind your back and played it off as a big joke. Well it was no joke to you, and upset you.

You should have dumped the dude, and let your heart heal instead of hang on to a cheater you can't trust. You will never forget what he did, and love at a young age isn't enough to forget.

At least stop taking your hurt and fear out on him, and tell him what you need. More texting, and calling and show he cares so you can feel better. Honesty might work.Try it!!

I know I believed in him that it wasn't a joke but I still stayed up all nigt thinking about it I got the feeling where I wanted to dump him but I didin't have the strength enough to do it... you know he shouldn't make a joke like that if I can see it or not. When she copied all that I got really hurt the last thing he said to her was " but if i love you then don't tell anyone" so I really started thinking that that "joke" thing was all a lie

Maybe instead of trusting him, you should trust yourself, and your own common sense, and your gut feelings. You may love him, or need him, for whatever reason, but you do deserve the truth, with an honest partner.

At least one who's words and actions match, so you will not doubt he deserves YOU, and knows how to treat YOU. That was a lousy joke he played at best, or at worst, a lousy lie. Without the truth, there can be no trust, and you still deep down think it was a LIE!

I think you are right!

Thank you so much for helping me I appriciate it so much! Trust me if I had friends I wouldn't had posted for help on here but I have nobody, and I'm always in problems and when I am I think like "if only i had a friend".. I try to talk too my mom but she just dosen't know what to do, so.. I love my boyfriend very much but making up a joke or "a lie" like that that's just too far! Well should I dump him ? Or what do you think ?

You talk to him honestly and see where it goes. I mean was this girl who gave you a copy of the conversation in on the joke? Did she even see this as a joke, or was she exposing him?

Most adults trust, but verify the facts. I would certainly get her part of this, and if it stinks, dump the fool. If you don't believe whatever story she tells, dump the fool!!

I think he gets dumped for thinking playing with someone's feelings are a joke.

No she didin't even make it up cause I talked too my boyfriend about it and he was like " it was a joke too see if she still liked me" I mean it sounded so untrue. And also another day I caught him writing on one of her photo's saying that she was so hot and he wished she was he's and I cried for like 5 hours and then I talked to him about it and he said it wasn't him... God! I don't know what to believe anymore!!

I say stop with all the drama and read a good book. The public library is calling your name.

Believe in yourself, and end the drama and speculation, and as Wondergirl said remove yourself so you can think, instead of just FEEL.

I know you are scared.

OK

I'm sure I'll figure something out. Thanks for all your wonderful awnsers :)

I say talk to him ask him why he never does any of those things? If he carries on ignoring I suggest you dump him and find a real boyfriend. I also suggest you try and make some friends you can never have to many people you can talk too. :)

But it's hard to make friends I don't even know how to make friends

You need to talk to him face to face with it. If you don't have trust , there is no possible way the relationship can work