Okay I'm going to try to keep this brief, but it's complicated: So me and the girl I love met at the beginning of the school year (college) when she was still with her boyfriend of 2 years. She basically started to fall for me and ended up cheating on him (I don't want any judgments here, I know it was wrong for the both of us to engage, and I still feel bad to this day for her ex). She came clean and broke up with him, for the reasons that she was bored, and felt that the spark just died. It took her a while for her to move on from him, but we did start going out officially, but the entire time was a roller coaster ride, but I would say mostly because of me and my insecurities, that she wanted to go back to her ex and also that one day, karma would come bite me back in the a** and she would find someone else too.

So, I ended up breaking up with her about 7 times, over that course, she went to study abroad in Europe for about 4-5 months and then ended up staying an extra 3 weeks on her own. But before she left, we would spend all day with each other and do everything together. And we also did get into a lot of fights. But each time, we got back together because I really do love her and wanted to get over all my insecurities.

2 weeks before she came back, she broke up with me, saying that she had had feelings to cheat on me and make out with other guys, but didn't actually do it. She also said that while she loved me, she loved herself and her freedom too much, she felt too tied down, just didn't know what she wanted, and that I just wasn't the one. Also, what still gets me confused is that she called us soulmates several times before she broke it off with me.

But, I ended up picking her up from the airport and throwing her a surprise birthday party with her friends, and for the entire month of June, we just spent all our time together until she had to leave for Canada. But during the entire time and at the time she left, she said that we weren't going to go for labels, and yet on both our Facebook profiles, we're both "Single". She says she just wants us to be us, so I guess, we're just "us" right now, we have no labels. But she told me that we're not "bf, gf", just "us" and that if I'm willing to wait for her to come back in September when she might have decided whether she wants a relationship with me, then we can go to therapy. But before she left, she explicitly said that she loves me, but I just know that she's the type of girl who likes excitement and can easily be influenced by others, and given time and distance, there are so many temptations that she'll come across.

I don't know, I'm lost, heartsick, because I know that I made a lot of mistakes in the past, but I really do love her and want to be with her. But I just don't know if I should keep waiting, or just let her go and just let her have her freedom. Right now in my mind, we are still together and she's sincerely and truly the only one in my heart, but I don't know if she feels the same way. All I know is, I've learned from my past mistakes and I'm trying hard to change my flaws that used to really come between us, and I really do want to keep chasing her and be there for her. That's my story, thanks for your thoughts.