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jessica2300
Jul 10, 2012, 05:04 PM
Many people agree that a good education is an important quality [huh?] to have in life. To achieve that good education, one must not only graduate from high school[omit ,] but also from college. Many people disagree on the similarities and differences between the two different [types of] education[omit s]. To compare and contrast them is almost unfair[omit ,] because they are two completely different worlds, each with [its] own individual qualities. The differences are aplenty, and in many ways they are also similar.

First off, almost every person in the United States can say that [he has] been to high school, with the majority [of people] saying they graduated. High school is a defining period in every person's life. It's [where] many [omit of your] first new experiences and life lessons are learned. From person to person, opinions will differ. Many believe it was the [best] time of their lives, while others say it was a time to forget and learn from. Either way, high school is an experience in itself.

High school is a period in which many new things happen. [It is a] world full of raging hormones, honors classes, and new[-]found freedoms. High school [can also be] routine in a way. [The requirement is for] eight or so classes year round, and [lunch always fits in somewhere]. The same kids [from] elementary and middle school probably are the same kids [in] high school. Basically, high school is much [more] regimented, and many [students] find themselves having the same friends for many years. Because of this, [omit in turn] once a [student's] "reputation" or "image" was established in high school, most likely that was going to stick with [that student] for the rest of [his] time left.

The work in high school is a piece of cake. Unless [a student is] taking honors or AP courses, there is really no reason why someone's GPA should drop below 2.75. Classes in high school are small in size, usually between twenty and thirty students, and there is a [one-on-one] feeling with the teacher. It is a [laid-back] atmosphere because everyone knows [everyone else].

Also in high school, many students find a way around the "school" part. Countless students slack off and don't apply themselves to their work or studies. Because of this, many students find themselves doing new extracurricular activities, and [omit I think] we all know what is meant by that. It is very easy in high school to fall into bad habits. High [s]chool is a perfect opportunity to go down the wrong path and find yourself in bad situations.

All in all, [h]igh school is a time for learning and new life experiences. Everyone should experience it, because it prepares [a student] for the next step in [omit your] life, and for many[,] that step is college.

Many people go on to college to further not only their education, but to broaden their horizons. College is a completely new experience with many unique aspects that can change and help define one's life. Many people love college[omit ,] and find it to be a new beginning. It is a new opportunity to define [oneself] as an individual [with] a new image, [since] everyone is looking to do the same thing.

In college, it's time to strap down and get to work. There's really no room for error. Classes are spread out throughout the week, and [a student often has] much down time. There is a lot of work and it is crammed into a short period. It is up to [the student] to know when to eat lunch, and it is up to [the student to know] when to study. It is also [the student's] decision to fill that time [when not studying or doing productive work].

College is a new beginning. [There are no tags for] a prior social status or image. It is an opportunity to start new and meet new people[--people who become] lifelong friends [omit in college,] because [of going] through so much together. In a way, [it's a transfer to] adulthood.

The major new aspect of college is if [a student dorms] there. To dorm at college really makes an individual grow up fast [as he provides for himself and takes care of himself.] [A student must interact with other students and learn how to] live with differences. It's a major transition from living at home for eighteen years[--to suddenly live with strangers in a new environment]. Many [students] find it exciting, while many others hate it.

Together, college is a collaboration of exciting new experiences, intellectual exploration, and the examination of [one's] true self. It's the next step in [a] young adult's lives that [leads him to become] who they truly are. College is [preparation for] adulthood, and [experiences help each student learn how to face] the challenges of tomorrow.

Many aspects of both high school and college can be tied together. For one, [during the first year of two of college, a student often reviews subjects learned in high school.] They are basic general education [or core] classes. Depending on the school, teachers can also give [omit you] that [one-on-one] help. Class sizes can also be similar to high school if [it's] a small college. There are similarities in the people also. Even in college [cliques] and groups develop, just like in high school. On a lighter note, [there are parties] in college just like in high school, probably a lot more[,] as a matter of fact. High school and college are similar because they are both learning experiences that the individual helps write for [himself by his] choices and decisions.

[This paragraph repeats ideas from one above.] On the other hand, we all know that high school and college are very different. Like I said before, they are two completely different worlds. In high school, everything is regimented and [the student is] told what to do. In college[,] classes are spread out and [there is] much down time to do what [extracurricular activities, have a part-time job, etc.] Also, in college, unlike high school, [a student lives with other students] in a dorm. [Survival becomes paramount, and unique and unfamiliar decisions are made.]

In conclusion, even though high school and college are very different, there are still similarities they share. High school prepares [omit you] for college. It is a time full of new experiences and lessons. College is a new chapter in life, and also a new beginning. In a way, college is a mature version of high school. As I said before, to compare and contrast them is unfair, because there are so many different things that an individual does to define the [college experience for himself.] High school and college are what [a student makes of them.] To find the true similarities and differences, one must experience both [omit for themselves].

High school, as well as college[,] is just another part in everyone's [life]. Almost everyone go through such a transition between two very diverse and different worlds. These diverse worlds can be compared and contrasted by everyone; however, not all are aware of the possible similarities and differences between them. The purpose of this essay is to compare the students' high school and college life in terms of the level of academic responsibilities, time schedule, as well as the culture practiced by each student.

First of all, high school is the first step to a higher level or learning. This place equips [students] with the proper knowledge needed in order to survive college and other higher levels of learning. The topics being taught in high school are generalized in basic Math, Science, English, Filipino, and many other subjects. The students are more relaxed and their responsibilities are not that complicated and heavy in a sense that there are fewer requirements and their due dates are not immediate. Compared to the time schedule of college students, a high school [student's] schedule is much more fixed because the standard call time is at 7:30a.m. and end at 5:00p.m. Students are much more immature and need guidance in order to lead fulfilling lives. They study inside a single classroom everyday; thus having little freedom.

College, on the other hand, is a different story. The subjects a student will learn and discuss are much more specific since [a career path is finally chosen]. College students are older and their workload is much more complex and heavier. They have more responsibilities to carry in college because the curriculum is much more specific and complicated because detailed topics are being discussed regarding [the] chosen career path. In contrast with the fixed regular schedule of high school students, college students' time schedules are very flexible because they have to choose their own desired time schedule. These students are much more outgoing and independent compared to high school students. The culture of college students is much more diverse because there is a huge number of students inside a college; each student has [his] own nationality, college students live in different locations from all over the country and cultures from high school are brought into college by the students.

People can really see the distinctive difference these two phases in life; however, there are also some similarities [noticeable] during [the] transition into college [life]. Friends from [omit your] high school will always be there[, omit for you, especially when a constant connection is kept]. Studying habits such as cramming for a test or homework, creating during a test or copying another student's homework, breaking the rules and disciplinary sanctions are still evident in both high school and college.

We all know that everyone goes through high school and college. We can compare that college is much more challenging and complex than high school. This is a higher level of learning, thus, requiring more time, effort as well as devotion to studies. Even though college is very tiring at times, I still believe that college is much more enjoyable and exciting. To have that kind of freedom in your schedule is very rewarding; however, proper judgment is a must since we are all mature students now.

Wondergirl
Jul 10, 2012, 05:07 PM
What do you want someone to do? I'm the head editor for the site. I see comma problems, for instance.

What is the assignment?

jessica2300
Jul 10, 2012, 05:09 PM
I need someone to revise and edit the essay, This is comparing and contract High school vs. College

Wondergirl
Jul 10, 2012, 05:10 PM
Why do you think it might need revision? For what?

jessica2300
Jul 10, 2012, 05:14 PM
Not revision I need someone to review my essay and edit for me please

Wondergirl
Jul 10, 2012, 05:19 PM
I edited the first two paragraphs. What do you think so far?

jessica2300
Jul 10, 2012, 05:23 PM
Yes it sounds good would you help me out with the whole essay please

Wondergirl
Jul 10, 2012, 05:24 PM
You won't spit in my eye like the last three students I helped did?

jessica2300
Jul 10, 2012, 05:29 PM
Spit in your eye what do you mean well I will really appreciate I learn from my mistakes

Wondergirl
Jul 10, 2012, 05:40 PM
The last three told me to hurry, didn't say thank you, and one cursed me as he disappeared with a lol.

jessica2300
Jul 10, 2012, 05:46 PM
Ohh I'm sorry to hear that and its not easy to hurry and finish the work as fast but you can take your time and that is just rude not saying thank you and giving credit ( I'm sorry I'm not like that ms.wondergirl

Wondergirl
Jul 10, 2012, 06:26 PM
Okay, finished. I think I hit the high points. Avoid writing "you" this and "you" that. It seems like you repeat yourself a lot. Did you make a good outline before you wrote this essay? An outline would have kept you from repeating yourself and would have kept all your main points and supporting details in good order. Anyway, what I did gives it a little better look.

jessica2300
Jul 10, 2012, 06:35 PM
Well I'm kind of use to writing you and thank you so much for helping me

jessica2300
Jul 10, 2012, 06:36 PM
Well can you help me put this essay as one whole and make it around 1500 or 1400 please

Wondergirl
Jul 10, 2012, 06:41 PM
Word Count: 1693

jessica2300
Jul 10, 2012, 06:45 PM
I needed 1500 the class online only takes 1550

Wondergirl
Jul 10, 2012, 06:49 PM
Is this for homeschool?

So chop it down to 1500.

jessica2300
Jul 10, 2012, 06:56 PM
No its online classes I don't know how would I chop it down

Wondergirl
Jul 10, 2012, 06:59 PM
There's a lot of repetition.

Do what you should have done in the beginning. Make a good outline of what the essay should say. Then use different colors of highlighters to mark the main points of the outline when they show up in the essay. That will show you repetitions and what to cut out.

Do you go to a real high school? Why this online thing?

jessica2300
Jul 10, 2012, 07:08 PM
I'm taking online summer class to graduate early and is my thesis good

Wondergirl
Jul 10, 2012, 07:54 PM
No, the thesis needs lot of work yet. Like I said, your best thing to do is make a good outline for the main points with details for each main point. Then look at the essay and see where there is repetition and where you can make stronger arguments for differences and similarities.

Wondergirl
Jul 10, 2012, 08:03 PM
For instance (this is NOT an outline):

Topic for a paragraph--living situation for high school (list details) vs. living situation for college (list details). Are there any similarities? What are the differences?

Outline style --

Living situation
A. Similarities
1. high school
a.
b.
c.
2. college
a.
b.
c.
B. Differences
1. high school
a.
b.
c.
2. college
a.
b.
c.

Courses
A. Similarities
1. high school
a.
b.
c.
2. college
a.
b.
c.
B. Differences
1. high school
a.
b.
c.
2. college
a.
b.
c.

jessica2300
Jul 11, 2012, 10:29 AM
How can I put this essay on first person

Wondergirl
Jul 11, 2012, 10:35 AM
Why would you want first person? It already is in places.

jessica2300
Jul 11, 2012, 10:40 AM
I need as a first person as I me myself like experience

Wondergirl
Jul 11, 2012, 10:41 AM
Are you in college?

jessica2300
Jul 11, 2012, 10:48 AM
High school 12th grade

Wondergirl
Jul 11, 2012, 10:50 AM
You cannot use the first person because you have not experienced college life. It would make your essay even worse and less believable than it is now.

jessica2300
Jul 11, 2012, 10:53 AM
Well I'm taking duel enrollment class in college

Wondergirl
Jul 11, 2012, 10:58 AM
Online?

jessica2300
Jul 11, 2012, 11:12 AM
Yes maam

jessica2300
Jul 11, 2012, 11:28 AM
Will you please help me thank you so much

Wondergirl
Jul 11, 2012, 11:30 AM
You have no college experience and no real clue what goes on there. Making your essay first person would water it down further and make it sound even more superficial than it is already. You would be better off spending time strengthening your major points by putting together the outline, as I showed you, and then developing the essay accordingly.

jessica2300
Jul 11, 2012, 11:32 AM
Well I'm in first year of college so it would consider as my college life I took some duelenrollment classes in campus

Wondergirl
Jul 11, 2012, 11:33 AM
I've been to three colleges. Your essay does not reflect college life.

jessica2300
Jul 11, 2012, 11:38 AM
Well how can I make my essay my experience in college and high I need an compare and contrast essay

Wondergirl
Jul 11, 2012, 11:44 AM
You've got a compare-contrast essay, but it's repetitive, poorly organized, and poorly written. Turning it into first person won't fix that. Make the outline!!

List all the things that happen in both kinds of schools, then compare and contrast using the outline form as a guide --

Textbooks
Teachers
Classmates
Living situation
Parking of student cars
Free time
Class length
Class schedule
Food service
Core courses
Electives
Majors/minors
etc.

jessica2300
Jul 11, 2012, 12:07 PM
Can you help my paragraph by paragraph

Wondergirl
Jul 11, 2012, 12:08 PM
I just did --

Textbooks
Teachers
Classmates
Living situation
Parking of student cars
Free time
Class length
Class schedule
Food service
Core courses
Electives
Majors/minors
etc.

Be sure each paragraph has a good topic sentence and is on only one of the above subjects -- and shows high school and college similarities and differences.

jessica2300
Jul 11, 2012, 12:09 PM
When I was a high school I remember thinking, “How long for senior year”, “Can graduation come any sooner?” High school was considered as a lockup in my opinion it had horrible food as free lunch, high fences, bossy teachers, and the false idea of hope. I couldn't wait to go to college, now that I'm attending college as a sophomore, it made me realize that high school may have felt like prison, but it's nothing compared to all the energy college takes away from me and that's without anyone giving you orders. Even though high school and college are both institutions of education but, the transition among the two can be drastic and can take time for the mind to get use to the different rules, regulations and ideas that comes with college. Being a high school student is usually the happiest and most careless period of one's. There comes a time when I realize that college is a difficult period of my life, especially when it comes to education. Although college and high school both require hard work and dedication, college schooling takes more self control, responsibility, and more so a positive attitude about your education.

Wondergirl
Jul 11, 2012, 12:12 PM
Is that supposed to be an introduction paragraph? If so, it's not general enough, is too specific and full of details. In it, you are already discussing similarities and differences which is not the purpose of an introduction.

jessica2300
Jul 11, 2012, 12:57 PM
I will write the essay from scratch n send it back

jessica2300
Jul 11, 2012, 01:13 PM
Last month my parents came here for a week's stay, and then flew back. I looked from behind them as they walked towards the departure gate that day at the airport. With their backs to me, they checked in as usual. When they were almost out of my sight, nothing had prepared me to see my mum look back while my dad didn't. The moment was engraved in my memory and I suddenly realized that there exist differences between the same unconditional loves. As the proverb goes, mother love is water-like while father love is mountain-like.

In terms ofdaily caring, it is undeniable that mother's love is far more sensitive than father's. In my case it is obvious in the content of their caring behavior.

When I still lived at home before college, I even can't imagine how she memorized so many details for me for years on end. I loved semi-raw egg so she steamed an egg for exactly fifty seconds in microwave every morning without a timer; she remembered exactly on which day I would have PE lesson and always reminded me not to wear jeans to school; she tried to think of all the ways to avoid serving me eggs on exam days because of the unlucky symbolized meaning. On the contrary, a father-only home was in a mess, without schedule or arrangement. He can forget to wake me up on a school-day morning; he can mistake mom's toothbrush for mine; he even can tell whether a dish was going bad or not; even now I am sure that he doesn't know whether I love spaghetti or cheese cake for my breakfast. My mum used to say “What a father!” Yes, indeed!

This year I am thousands of kilometers away from home. Video chatting has become a major communicating way to connect parents and their dearest daughter. On the other end of the internet, my father always acted as a wishy-washy diplomat asking me yes-or-no questions or even seemed to have nothing to talk with me. Unlike my father's perfunctory “what's going on”, my mom would care about what I did yesterday, what I had for lunch today and what I would wear the next day; unlike my father's stupid “what's the weather like recently?”, my mom would book a daily weather forecast of Beijing and informed me from time to time; mom will even hint that I would better call my daddy in order to soothe him when he was in a bad mood. Now what I want to say is “what a mother!”

Although dad is not that good at caring me in daily life, what he has done to myeducationin his own style helps him to win a round back. Dad's rational and practical style is totally different from mom's sentimental and romantic one, so I always call them “sense and sensitivity”.

Dad tends to analyze everything rationally so that pros and cons are always listed respectively from his point of view. When I was to choose school and major one year ago, he helped me to make a chart and compare the advantages and disadvantages of every target universities objectively, instead of saying “just do it” as my mother did. Besides, he would even take me to observe the cause of a quarrel between neighbors while the answer was never given by him. He would patiently tell me what had happened and let me to draw a conclusion by myself. The ability of independent thinking is cultivated by his education style.

Mom tends to be more sentimental and to use more touching words. When facing some problems that need handling, she judges everything in a sensitive and romantic way. She always praises me at the right time and always encourages me to follow my heart, which is what I appreciate most. Unlike other adults, she never avoids any topics, from dream to death. She tells me “dream your dream forever”; she tells me to express my love bravely; she even tells me that we will all become watergrass at the bottom of the sea so that I should never worry about the pain caused by death and separation.

Instructing me with reasons and touching my heart with love make my education a round one. Combining their concepts together can be a process to perfect both sides of my character, sense and sensibility, reality and romance, day by day.

As for thelove expression, mother love and father love play completely different roles in my life. Water-like mom expresses love explicitly while mountain-like dad seldom uses direct words and feels like expressing his love implicitly although he loves me so much as mother do.

Mom follows a be-with-me style and just hopes to experience every important moment in my life. She designed a best route so that she can drop me off on her way to work reasonably; she waited for me two hours after two hours when I was in extra-curricular painting class and singing in a children's choir; how could she miss the chance to keep me company during college entrance examination! Her only purpose is to be with me, to join me in my life and be a crucial part of my important moments. Besides, she never forgets to hug me every time I do a good job and says “I love you” on my birthday party.

Dad didn't do the same as mom. He didn't have to be with me and even have to say sweet words to me. He was busy all the time so that we can only spent time on dinner table fewer than five times a month; he never said a word to encourage me before college entrance examinations and never sent me to my weekend painting class; we two used to have dinner together in a romantic restaurant with fewer than ten words during the whole process. But I have no doubt about his love – because I was always pretending to be asleep when he kissed me goodnight and murmured “sweet dream” eighteen years without exceptions. Just like the father in the View of my Father's BackbyZiqing Zhu, fathers always do better in what they do than what they say.

F-A-M-I-L-Y was created by a nice idea of “Father And Mother I Love You.” Mother love and father love give me a sense of security and also work on my ability developing during my growing process. We are like small boats sailing on our journey of life, and father's love is like a mountain that is always by our side while mom's love is like river water that carries the small boats to the end of the journey. On the aspects of daily caring, education style and love expression, they seem like two completely different persons but give me complementary influence and love. Whether they choose to be detailed or brief, explicit or implicit, practical or romantic, I love them and always feel proud. It is their difference that shows the diversity of our family and makes a round person out of a naïve girl.

Wondergirl
Jul 11, 2012, 01:14 PM
Now you are throwing out the baby with the bathwater. You don't have to write from scratch. Tag each paragraph with a certain topic from my list (and you don't have to use them all), then discuss similarities and differences within each paragraph. All you have to do is tweak what you already have and make it more clear and defined.

jessica2300
Jul 11, 2012, 01:24 PM
Well I wrote a new essay from scratch can u help me with that

Wondergirl
Jul 11, 2012, 01:43 PM
I thought you had to write about the differences and similarities between high school and college.

Help you with WHAT?