I met my girlfriend a little bit over 2 years ago. We do not live together but live 15 minutes apart. She is 23 I am 25. We have always had a good relationship, I treat her like she deserves and she knows I love and care about her with every ounce of my heart. We talk about everything, every single thing but she has always been kind of quiet when it comes to confrontations. We have seriously not had one major fight and are always very loving and healthy when we are together. She is a very beautiful, honest and caring girl and that's what attracts me most to her. I know her family VERY well, as she knows mine. And we have talked about marriage many, many times in our lives. She has graduated college and has a job while I am in the last year and a half of my college and work sometimes for a real estate company. We have a very close relationship and literally speak to each other from the minute we wake up until right before shutting our eyes to sleep. She calls me everyday when she leaves work and we talk and we hang out 3-5 times a week.

On the 4th of July my girlfriend did not answer my texts or calls, the only text she sent me was "dinner with XXXXX" an old college friend of hers. I knew something was up but was unsure what.. later that night she finally texted me and told me that "she cannot be with me right now and we need to talk in person" So I immediately call her and she tells me that she has been unhappy lately and is not sure why. She really wants to be single and alone for a while to figure out what is making her unhappy. I fought on the phone and tried to change her mind, there was a lot of crying and emotions and she would not budge.

The next day I decided to go to her house and talk in person, this is when she told me again she just feels unhappy and has been like that for the past week. She doesn't know why and she has never been single so she wants to be alone to figure out what is wrong with her... she also told me that she feels like she's mothering me and that was part of it but not all of it. She feels like she has to tell me to "register for school, check on my homework, check my grades, make a dentist appointment, etc." The sad part is that is quite true and it broke my heart not knowing about it till it was too late. That night she was emotionless trying to hold everything in because she was not going to be persuaded by my tears and emotions.

This really gave me a reality check for the next 4 days I just thought about it and really decided I need to change and be more responsible and motivated on my own. I need to live to my full potential and not be lazy. I sent her a text letting her know I understand she needs space and I am going to work hard to show her that I have changed.

I am taking 2 summer classes and on mondays and wednesdays she is in the same building as one of my classes. I saw her yesterday in her car and could not breathe. I was stunned and I made eye contact with her so I ended up talking to her. I told her the same thing and asked her how she was feeling she said "shes good, and alright, and was very short" I was holding back on my emotions but it was so hard... I told her I missed her and she told me she knows, but she hasn't even had time to think because her friends have been talking to her telling her I'm talking to them.. etc. She told me that has not allowed her to focus on herself and figure stuff out and it just makes everything 20x worse me talking to her today. She said she feels smothered and I need to just not contact her. She told me she just wants to be single right now to figure out things.

That night I came home and decided I have to respect wishes her if I ever want to have a chance with her. I did send her one last text because I was going crazy not being able to sleep telling her "the most important thing to me is that she gives me closure when she figures everything out, and to just not forget the 26 months we spent together and not to throw that away, I asked her to promise me verbal closure whether good or bad once she figures stuff out."

Now I sit here and every minute I am not busy with school or work I get heavy anxiety and feel the need to call or text her but I am forcing myself not to. The days go slow and it's very hard and depressing. My family and friends try to cheer me up but all I want is for her to understand I know I need to change and I really did get a reality check about my life by her doing this.

Please if anyone could give me any advice or words of wisdom and let me know how I can fight off this sadness and just wait it out, I would greatly appreciate it. I have never been this hurt in my entire life and still want to believe there is hope. I love this girl with all my heart and its just so hard to think 1 week ago everything was normal, and now I've lost my girlfriend and my best friend.

Thank you for reading, I am so sorry for the length.

She feels like she has to tell me to "register for school, check on my homework, check my grades, make a dentist appointment, etc."
This is so petty. Even as an anonymous third-party, it bugs me she would mention this.

...and she has never been single
This is likely the real reason she's leaving. If she jumped from relationship to relationship, she has no idea who she really is.

Sorry dude, but despite what she says, there's nothing she needs to "figure out", the relationship is over.

Do what she asks and don't contact her and especially don't contact her friends. Ignore all of her phone calls and her text messages. If you respond, you'll prolong the pain and you'll also send the message that you obey her every command.

Quite frankly, the way she handled this break-up wasn't respectful at all. She essentially broke up with you via text message on a holiday, and followed it up with petty insults.

Stay no contact. You will heal and move on.

You sound like you need everything to help you to be honest the best thing you can do is think of it as a blizzard it will blow over but right now you have to make the most of what you have. Like in a blizzard its easy to feel helpless. I remember I had a bad breakup ,and to top it off I got bulied a lot. I made the most of what I had ,and all I had was a gym membership some supportive friends and songs were other people went through. Now I got the girl back and I got the chance to try out for the nationals for boxing. Anythings possible... Opinions are changed as easy as feelings... This is the song that got me through http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxszlJppRQI...Goodluck

You may have not liked hearing her reasons but she was giving you reasons (as petty as they may sound) that were valid to her. She did not like the situation she was in.
Don't bug her and don't beg. Stop talking to her friends. That is desperate and childish.
Prepare yourself for her not coming back. Try to get on with your life.

You may have not liked hearing her reasons but she was giving you reasons (as petty as they may sound) that were valid to her. She did not like the situation she was in.
Don't bug her and don't beg. Stop talking to her friends. That is desperate and childish.
Prepare yourself for her not coming back. Try to get on with your life.

Common now have a heart, the man is hurten. As right as you are in regards to cutting ties, its OK for him to act how he is. Expecialy since there was no closure whatsoever.

OK man, the situation you are in sucks. There's no way around that. The first thing you NEED to do is cut all ties. Delete her number, Facebook, and any other direct contact you may have to her. After that you need to cut contact with her friends (and in extreme circumstances your friends who are in contact with her). The truth of it is in order to heal NO CONTACT is nessary. Once you have done that, allow yourself some time to grieve. That means cry it out, let all you pain and frustration out. You lost something very special to you, and you need to accept that it will never come back. This should take longer than a day but don't wallow, once its out its time to pick yourself up. Next step is to man up, got to the gym, pick up a sport, or anything phisical (outside is best). This will help you start to feel good. Go out with friends, talk a lot! But not about the break up! People don't want to hear the story, they already know it. You friends want to help you but don't push them away with the same old sob story. If you catch yourself thinking about her make an effort to think about anything els. If you stick to your guns and move forward, you will get over this. Just remember "shes gone and she is never coming back"

I'm going to have to agree with durpstick, CUT ALL TIES... try.. stop stalking her or fishing for information, don't hold onto any hope you just preparing yourself for another break down.

She is really not interested in being in a relationship with you right now or ever. Anything is possible... you don't just drop and forget a relationship but unfortunately she is doing that now by pushing it aside and not wanting to deal with it.

:(

UPDATE: 3rd day of NC. It's really hard still but her best friend of 14 years reached out to me yesterday and made me feel really good about things.

She told me that she has not mentioned to her once that she is planning on breaking up with me forever, she told her she just needs to figure out what is making her unhappy and anxious all the time around me, her work, her family, etc.

Her friend told me I just need to focus on myself and hope for the best. She said she is fighting for us and knows it'll be okay (which is awesome of her to say that)

Do you think my girlfriend would have told her if she wanted to actually break up, or is it diff for diff girls personalities? Or do you think she really has just not figured it out and it being honest about just needing time to figure out stuff?

I want to be hopeful but I'm doing better either way I kind of am ready to accept the tough answer, but I think deep down inside I'm happier than I should be because I think there is hope.


PS. About there being another man. My girlfriend is very close to the Lord. I doubt she would ever do anything like that, her friend even laughed at me when I mentioned that she may be interested in someone else. She was very loyal to me, I really think it's because I was being a boy and she wants a responsible man who can keep her head straight and so she can picture a real future with me, not just an imaginary one.

What do you guys think, if I was to change like I plan on doing (not 100% changing, just making better decisions and spending my time more wisely, not just sitting gaming all day) would she actually come back? Or is this far-fetched and I should just give up? I plan on keeping NC till she contacts me, which I hope isn't too far away.

I think you need to stop talking to her friends about her. If they want to talk to you, tell them you don't want to hear it.
I think you go on with your life without her in the picture. Anything other than that is sitting around hoping she will come back. You don't heal doing that.

I agree. If she has never been single let her go and see things from the other side. If she isn't happy let her go.