Hello - We have been married for about 9 years but together as a couple for about 19 years. We are over 60, are similar in many ways and different in ours. You could say a type A guy and a type Z gal. We care about each other, can talk about anything and share our life reasonably well. The problem is, that over the last 7 years; we have not had intercourse because I have severe ED and cannot penetrate for sexual activity. I am very interested in our sexual health and try to be very positive in my life as a whole. On many occasions tried without any positive results, to find ways to be as intimate and have some sort of satisfying sexual encounter ( nothing weird ) wife my wife. I have always believed that my wife's needs sexual are first and foremost. She shows not interest, won't try very much and is not supportive. I have a very small penis now, she has laughed in my face when I have tried various medical devices, to help. She was very hot / active before the 7 yrs ago. Now a non-responsive or acts very disinterested. Yet, at work from her own stories; among co-workers and comments all the time - talks about sex. I am the end of my rope and am so discouraged, I am contemplating leaving her our of sheer frustration. She is very very sexually frustrated and projects very strong anger to me almost daily; I am her whipping boy. I don't want to be the target for the rest of my life and she was told years ago, that she had anger and other related issues in her life from growing up, etc. that have nothing to do with me. I advocate for her in every way daily; support her with several health issues but she isn't supportive and is rude; turns on the TV or just has no reaction. I do know from her comments and from work emails; that sex is a big topic with other males / females. My medical issue are significant and am disabled. I take care of all home chores, bills, etc. so she is free of that and can focus on work and rest. I pamper her all the time.

A lack of intimacy / no sex isn't health; she has no medical issues that would prevent it but talks all the time about other guys and their assets. We are not the jealous type either, so its not that.

So, where do I go from here. I do not show my disappointment when she is home, so as not to make this issue worse. No, I am not hung up on sex its just I am not ready to become a little old man yet. She does perform oral sex on me maybe 6-8 times a years but never is interested in instigating anything sexual and not even daily pleasantries. I love her so much but am pretty crushed and just plain lonely for affection. I take her out every week to reduce her work stress and show appreciation for just being here in my life. There isn't anything I won't do for her. She cares about me in general but the balance of affection, being a good listener or trying to stabilize our life just isn't a priority with her.

Help! Thank you for any advice you can give. < sorry for being long winded >