I am currently engaged to a wonderful man. We are due to get married in January. I am not a fan of his family. His mother is the type that is very competitive and passive aggressive. I do not understand why she feels the need to compete with someone 30 years younger than her. I do come from a very blessed background and I grew up in a suburb. They are from a very rural country town, and are just blue collar people. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I have no issue with that and I have a lot of family that are in that same class. I never knew that there was such an issue of country vs. city and what my parents did and how they were blessed. There has been many times where she will sell something of my fiancés (such as forging his name on the title of his car that he had purchased with his own money to sell it for a new car for her family) and giving him no money for groceries (we are in college) now that he is around me more and I have more money for food so she told him that "well she has food around, just eat hers". So I am having a hard time dealing with that, and I am honestly just worried about marrying into a family like that who is so competitive and money is such an issue to them. She told her whole family that she was paying for the whole wedding in Hawaii (which she is not putting in a dime, my family is and she even asked my family to pay for their plane tickets and hotel), but she is bragging about it all to her family that she is doing all of this stuff for us when she really isn't. Am I ready to marry into a family like that? My family isn't a fan of his family, but love him. He is a great guy, but has some growing up to do. How do I handle this? Has anyone been through something similar and can give me advise? Thanks so much

Let me warn you -- she will never change. Unless you can set firm boundaries and still keep yourself in her good graces (if you want to), this will be your life during your entire marriage. I too have a mil whose middle name is $$$ and success. Her children are heads of corporations (they're not really) or have made some amazing scientific discovery (not yet) or have made a fortune in the stock market (nope). Part of this comes from having grown up with four sisters, all of whom were very competitive with each other. Once the sisters had children, the conversations centered around who kids were more successful and who could tell the biggest whoppers.

I'm guessing your future mil has an emotional hole or two that she needs to fill by telling her wild tales and doing the money juggling that she does. (My mil says she grew up during the Great Depression, so that's why she's obsessed with money.)

This will not go away, so you and your future husband had better be on the same page in how you deal with her.

Thanks for the response. It is just something completely different than I have been around and an uncomfortable with dealing with things like that. Thanks for the advise.