I'm head over heels with my straight friend. He knows I’m gay and told me no matter what we will be friends. All my close friends know I’m gay and don't really care which is awesome. The more we hang out the more I fall in love with him. Now it hurts to be without him. I've been trying hard not to be with him. But then I always seem to get a text message or a phone call from another buddy, "hey lets hangout" or something like that. I always ask “who's all there?”, for the fear of him being there. If he isn't there I’ll go, but sooner or later he shows up. I always try to leave but either I’ve been drinking and don't want to risk a dui or they make me stay. How? Well when someone you have a crush on ask you to stay with a smile it’s really hard not to leave. I think I set myself up sometimes.

Well recently we were all really drunk. I go and pass out on the floor with a blanket in my buddy’s room. And here he comes drunk as hell, and lays next to me. The next morning I was cuddling with him... now I can't live with myself, I’m so ashamed at what I did. He found out and told me the other night. He was laughing and told me it’s all good man, like it was a joke, then he gives me a hug laughs some more and tells me that "dude you'll always be my buddy". I apologized to him for what happened. But I feel like it’s not enough. I'm still so in love with him. I'm pretty sure he knows that I love him. I don't know how to get over him and still keep him as a friend. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve these good friends. I really don't want a repeat of what happened ever again.

Thus is what happens when people get drunk. Perhaps controlling the drinking

Stop getting drunk, and you won't wake up cuddling a buddy, and feel guilty over nothing.