talaniman
Mar 2, 2007, 08:36 AM
Water Formula
Little Johnny's teacher asks, "What is the chemical formula for water?"
Little Johnny replies, "H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O!!"
The teacher, puzzled, asks, "What on Earth are you talking about?"
Little Johnny replies, "Yesterday you said it was H to O!"
[/URL]
Travel Agent Terms
Old world charm - Room with no TV, radio and only 1 light.
Tropical - Rainy.
Majestic setting - A long way from town, at end of dirt road.
Options galore - Nothing is included in the price.
Secluded hideaway - Directions to locate unclear.
Some budget rooms - Sorry, already occupied.
Explore on your own - At your own expense.
Minutes From?? - By Plane
Romantic - No Phone in room
Knowledgeable trip hosts - They've flown in an airplane before.
No extra fees - No extras available.
Bird Watchers Paradise - Your car's paint will never be the same
Nominal fee - Outrageous charge.
Standard - Sub-standard.
Deluxe - Barely Standard.
Superior accommodations- One complimentary chocolate, free shower cap.
All the amenities - Two chocolates, two shower caps.
Just Like Home - No Maid service.
Plush - Both top and bottom sheets, bed shakes.
Gentle breezes - In hurricane alley.
Light and airy - No air conditioning.
Picturesque - Theme park nearby.
24-hour bar - Ice cubes at additional cost (when available).
(https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/)
Oops
Astronomers were excited this week at having isolated a brief sound which occurred immediately before the Big Bang.
Apparently, that sound was "Uh oh."
Job Interview
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The Engineer said, "In the neighbourhood of $75,000 a year, depending on the benefit's package."
The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the HR Person said, "Certainly, ...but you started it."
[URL="https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/"]
Criminal Lawyer
A man walked into the local Chamber of Commerce of a small town, obviously desperate. Seeing a man at the counter, the stranger asks, "Is there a criminal lawyer in town?"
To which the man behind the counter immediately quipped, "Yes, but we haven't been able to prove it yet!"
Little Johnny's teacher asks, "What is the chemical formula for water?"
Little Johnny replies, "H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O!!"
The teacher, puzzled, asks, "What on Earth are you talking about?"
Little Johnny replies, "Yesterday you said it was H to O!"
[/URL]
Travel Agent Terms
Old world charm - Room with no TV, radio and only 1 light.
Tropical - Rainy.
Majestic setting - A long way from town, at end of dirt road.
Options galore - Nothing is included in the price.
Secluded hideaway - Directions to locate unclear.
Some budget rooms - Sorry, already occupied.
Explore on your own - At your own expense.
Minutes From?? - By Plane
Romantic - No Phone in room
Knowledgeable trip hosts - They've flown in an airplane before.
No extra fees - No extras available.
Bird Watchers Paradise - Your car's paint will never be the same
Nominal fee - Outrageous charge.
Standard - Sub-standard.
Deluxe - Barely Standard.
Superior accommodations- One complimentary chocolate, free shower cap.
All the amenities - Two chocolates, two shower caps.
Just Like Home - No Maid service.
Plush - Both top and bottom sheets, bed shakes.
Gentle breezes - In hurricane alley.
Light and airy - No air conditioning.
Picturesque - Theme park nearby.
24-hour bar - Ice cubes at additional cost (when available).
(https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/)
Oops
Astronomers were excited this week at having isolated a brief sound which occurred immediately before the Big Bang.
Apparently, that sound was "Uh oh."
Job Interview
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The Engineer said, "In the neighbourhood of $75,000 a year, depending on the benefit's package."
The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the HR Person said, "Certainly, ...but you started it."
[URL="https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/"]
Criminal Lawyer
A man walked into the local Chamber of Commerce of a small town, obviously desperate. Seeing a man at the counter, the stranger asks, "Is there a criminal lawyer in town?"
To which the man behind the counter immediately quipped, "Yes, but we haven't been able to prove it yet!"