Okay it is not as simple as the title states.

My boyfriend (soon to be fiancé - we told our parents we are just waiting for him to have a stable job) of 4 years broke up with me on the day we were celebrating my birthday. We fight a lot but we work everything out. He is my first BF and I am his 1st GF and we are very close we discuss everything, you wouldn't believe the topics we discuss.

So, we don't live together and we have demanding jobs, so we decided to celebrate my birthday the weekend before it.

He got me an amazing gift and we went out for lunch and then when we were out at the mall walking and shopping for him, I wanted to get into a beauty products shop, which he hates going into, and he started being very mean, shouted at me and then stood outside as I looked around - the same thing happened the day before, but that time when I got upset he took me back inside and said he was sorry.

So after that I was quiet and upset (bearing in mind it was supposed to be my special day - I am turning 21) and we went about our day, he was acting like nothing happened and I was clearly upset and he knew it. Then he tells me to stop being annoying and cheer up, I told him I don't want to and that he is being very mean and that I want to leave and hang out alone. He kept on telling me to be nice and asked me what I wanted to do, I was upset but didn't leave and was hoping he would make it up to me.

I might seem like a selfish crazy drama queen, but the thing is he has crazy moods and when he is angry he lets it all out on me and I know all that and handle it and don't hold it all against him. We have been on the verge of break up many times and we come back together, so I do take a lot and when he is angry he is very emotionally abusive and would say the meanest of things, and later apologizes for it and I forgive him.

So back to the issue, so he tries talking about why I am upset and I tell him its because he is never willing to do anything for me that is slightly out of his comfort zone and that all I wanted was to spend a nice day with him and stop our usual fights, and he says no I am over reacting and that I upset him first (he always does this) and that this isn't really my birthday so I should get over myself.

This goes on for a while and when we get in the car he starts saying that I am ruining the day and that I am ruining his weekend and he doesn't have time for this. I just keep quiet because I was very angry, then he keeps doing this and then I break down, I am screaming crying and start hitting him (he know I have a temper and tend to get aggressive - nothing that I am proud of- I even punch myself/walls/doors when angry and hurt myself. His mum used to beat him so it is a major issue with him and he said that he will let me go home.

He then continue saying how I ruined everything and I tell him that all I wanted was a happy day and he tells me I tried, I got you gift and we had lunch but you ruined everything- I got hysterical and told him that anyone can give me a gift- but only you would make me happy and special without paying a dime and that it was my special day, I have been waiting to celebrate with him all year. He tells me that birthdays in general don't mean a thing and this being my 21st or even 50th doesn't matter and that I am selfish because he is in pain (he has always had colon problems) and I am ungrateful.

I went crazy and told him to stop because I wanted to leave, he said no I'll drop you home. I was mental I had no control over myself I kept telling him to stop and not hold me, he then stopped spat at me, told me I was a whore and lightly pushed me out of the car.

I took a cab home and later he texts me telling how I ruined everything and that I screwed his life and breaks up with me.

I really do not know if he is coming back or not, we have had similar fights, but recently we have had big fights and the last time (2 weeks back) after one big fight I told him I want to break up because I can't take it anymore and he convinced me to stay, second day he fought with me again and called me the vilest things then he apologizes and we get back and then this happens.

I feel like .

Sorry for the excessively long post.

Okay it is not as simple as the title states.

My boyfriend (soon to be fiance - we told our parents we are just waiting for him to have a stable job) of 4 years broke up with me on the day we were celebrating my birthday. We fight a lot but we work everything out. He is my first BF and I am his 1st GF and we are very close we discuss everything, you wouldn't believe the topics we discuss.

So, we don't live together and we have demanding jobs, so we decided to celebrate my birthday the weekend before it.

He got me an amazing gift and we went out for lunch and then when we were out at the mall walking and shopping for him, I wanted to get into a beauty products shop, which he hates going into, and he started being very mean, shouted at me and then stood outside as I looked around - the same thing happened the day before, but that time when I got upset he took me back inside and said he was sorry.

So after that I was quiet and upset (bearing in mind it was supposed to be my special day - I am turning 21) and we went about our day, he was acting like nothing happened and I was clearly upset and he knew it. Then he tells me to stop being annoying and cheer up, I told him I don't want to and that he is being very mean and that I want to leave and hang out alone. He kept on telling me to be nice and asked me what I wanted to do, i was upset but didn't leave and was hoping he would make it up to me.

I might seem like a selfish crazy drama queen, but the thing is he has crazy moods and when he is angry he lets it all out on me and I know all that and handle it and don't hold it all against him. We have been on the verge of break up many times and we come back together, so I do take a lot and when he is angry he is very emotionally abusive and would say the meanest of things, and later apologizes for it and I forgive him.

So back to the issue, so he tries talking about why I am upset and I tell him its because he is never willing to do anything for me that is slightly out of his comfort zone and that all I wanted was to spend a nice day with him and stop our usual fights, and he says no i am over reacting and that I upset him first (he always does this) and that this isn't really my birthday so I should get over myself.

This goes on for a while and when we get in the car he starts saying that I am ruining the day and that i am ruining his weekend and he doesn't have time for this. I just keep quiet because I was very angry, then he keeps doing this and then I break down, I am screaming crying and start hitting him (he know I have a temper and tend to get aggressive - nothing that I am proud of- I even punch myself/walls/doors when angry and hurt myself. his mum used to beat him so it is a major issue with him and he said that he will let me go home.

He then continue saying how I ruined everything and I tell him that all i wanted was a happy day and he tells me i tried, i got you gift and we had lunch but you ruined everything- i got hysterical and told him that anyone can give me a gift- but only you would make me happy and special without paying a dime and that it was my special day, i have been waiting to celebrate with him all year. He tells me that birthdays in general don't mean a thing and this being my 21st or even 50th doesn't matter and that I am selfish because he is in pain (he has always had colon problems) and I am ungrateful.

I went crazy and told him to stop because i wanted to leave, he said no i'll drop you home. I was mental i had no control over myself i kept telling him to stop and not hold me, he then stopped spat at me, told me i was a whore and lightly pushed me out of the car.

I took a cab home and later he texts me telling how i ruined everything and that i screwed his life and breaks up with me.

I really do not know if he is coming back or not, we have had similar fights, but recently we have had big fights and the last time (2 weeks back) after one big fight i told him I want to break up because I can't take it anymore and he convinced me to stay, second day he fought with me again and called me the vilest things then he apologizes and we get back and then this happens.

I feel like .

Sorry for the excessively long post.

Really... he spit on you and your confused how to handle this. Your beyond help. If this is what you construe to be a relationship I think you have set the bar so low that even I have a chance. You could go down to the local liquor store parking lot and do better. Women of the world please stop being doormats for jack-holes to wipe their feet on. Positives and negatives... pluses and minuses... math is a constant and doesn't lie.

You both are immature, and out of control, and take each other for granted. Maybe this separation is a good thing to give you both a bit of time to reflect on your own individual bad behavior.

I hope so because you both should be spanked for acting like petulant kids!

This relationship is really pitiful and you both are just plain nasty and mean to each other, spitting and hitting. Maybe he has grown away from you and you both need to grow up.
I think the break is a good think. Neither of you are relationship material at this point.