Hi, I met my girlfriend who Ive been dating for 2 years. We met online and were doing a long distance relationship. We're really close and meet when we can. She was my first. She told me she used to date someone before me for a few years also, from her high school. She lost his virginity to him and they were close growing up in high school. Im brown and she's white. She said her ex was brown too, which was one of the reasons I thought I has a chance with her... which eventually created our relationship...

I found out recently she made him up her ex story and she really met a guy online as well. She only knew him for 6 months and when she went to school, she had met him twice. The second time, they had sex 3 times in one day. The guy she met was 7 years older. She had told him about me? (this is what she said) and then he broke up with her.

She had also made up several occasions and stories about "stuff" she did with her "fake ex" and it always upset me. Now I know he didn't exist, except now this is worse. Instead of a respectful relationsh

I feel cheated and lied to, she had

I accidentally hit send...

So yeah, instead of a respected relationship like I thought, it was a slutty thing to do, 2nd meeting with a stranger... having sex 3 times in one day... I think he used her... I feel sorry for her, but at the same time Im upset at her for being so dumb...

I feel cheated and lied to. I don't know what to do, should I be mad? Should I forgive her? She said she made up her "fake ex" so I wouldn't judge her and I would like her more...

So you already know she is a cheater and a lier.
If it were me I would leave it alone and go on with my life totally and completely without her.
Should you be angry? Yes angry that you were lied to and angry that she risked not only her health but yours.
Should you forgive her? Sure, but that doesn't mean you have to continue the relationship only that you are a big enough person not to dwell on it.
Ultimately the choice is yours, but I don't see much good coming of this relationship.

She didn't cheat. When she met with this guy twice, we weren't officially together until 2-3 months later... At the time we were friends. And she admitted she had feelings for me.

I really love her and I can't stop thinking about her... I know she lied about her past to make it sound like she didn't make a mistake, this would have been so much easier if she had told me the truth from the start... After all, once you tell one big lie, you have to tell 100 more lies...

Does that change your answer ladysam?

YOU changed the entire slant of your story. First she's a liar and a cheat, then you made excuses for her, and say she didn't cheat, and you love her.

With relationship questions, generally there is no right or wrong answer. We go by what you say, and try to figure out what you want to hear with what is often a struggle between leaving and staying. Now you have put her down, and also defended her.

I'll play the role of advising you to stay and forgive, how's that? You are going to do what you want anyway, and can choose from all different responses here, if that helps with the decision you make.

I don't buy the argument that one big lie has to be followed by 100 more. MANY of us lie when we are first trying to impress someone. But it depends a lot on how the relationship unfolds as you get to know and trust each other. If you see a pattern of lies, then of course you think twice about staying.

So yeah, instead of a respected relationship like I thought, it was a slutty thing to do, 2nd meeting with a stranger... having sex 3 times in one day... I think he used her... I feel sorry for her, but at the same time Im upset at her for being so dumb...

Hate to burst your bubble, but you're a stranger too. You don't have a "respected" relationship with her either.


I feel cheated and lied to. I don't know what to do, should I be mad? Should I forgive her? She said she made up her "fake ex" so I wouldn't judge her and I would like her more...

Why would you be mad? You met her online. You don't have a real relationship with her. What did you expect? Everyone lies on the internet. Did you really expect something real from this?

Ok, so you say she didn't cheat, the question still remains, why make up an ex boyfriend and ex boyfriend situations to begin with? If that was before you two were an item then it was really none of your business what happened. Unless for some reason she felt the need to defend her behavior to you or through some guilty feelings decided to come clean.
The fact (if I am reading correctly) is that she continued to lie for 2 years, right?
Like I said the choice is yours, after being untruthful to me for 2 years I wouldn't hang around.
If you do continue to see her you will need to lose the "slutty thing to do" attitude, it will shine through in your interactions with her if that is how your view her.

You have a online relationship many people don't tell all the truth or lie some about past relationships when they first start talking, if she had said, yea, the last guy I meet on internet, after meeting twice we started having sex.

Guess then you would expect sex on the second meeting also? She wanted to sound good and nice but when she felt she could trust you, she told you the truth.

Guess at this point do you want to still date her or not