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Mick0001
Jul 3, 2012, 09:02 AM
Need a help please.
I have separated with wife with two kids for almost two years and meet a new girlfriend of 30 years old whilst I am 45. I dated this girl for two years and suddenly he told me she wants a breakup as I am too demanding in the relationship which of course is NOT the case. I give her everything as I believe I don't won't to make a second mistake.

But even though she told me she wants a breakup, she still calls, txt, whatapps message to me and check my whereabouts. As I like her so much and I don't want to breakup with her and I always responds to her message. A week after she told me about the split, we rang each other and meet at my place for the weekend and we had good sex. After that she still insist she wants a breakup. So, I am unsure what is going around this girl. But to my surprise whilst she stayed at my place the other night I went through her phone and saw pictures of herself which she had send to other guys. I confronted her and she told me that she is allowed to have male friends and send pictures as long as they are not naked. And, I should stop watching over her shoulder as she hates it. And that's what she hates about by always suspecting her of cheating.

I really like her but I am confused now whether to responds to her messages or do the NC rule but is really difficult for me. I suspect she is starting to see other guys as she wants to marry now but I have already promised her that I will marry her. But she is not fully giving me the NOD.

I need help on either I completely ignore her messages or respond with polite and hope one day she changes her mind... Please help... I can't sleep, eat or concentrate anymore and it is now 2 weeks...

mmresd
Jul 3, 2012, 10:54 AM
You don't want to break up with her? Are you in denial? That has ALREADY happened...

What you need to do is go no contact... let her feel the consequences of her action. You go no contact forever and you let her feel what it is like to be without you, by her own choice. If she ever wants to get back together, you will have a choice, be careful when making it as things might not have changed and will only lead to the same outcome later on. If she doesn't come back, then you have started your healing process at a good time, and will get over her sooner than later. Respect her decision, and move on, make sure to keep your mind occupied on other things.

slapshot_oi
Jul 3, 2012, 11:03 AM
I need help on either I completely ignore her messages or respond with polite and hope one day she changes her mind...
Completely ignore her messages.

Mick0001
Jul 5, 2012, 03:18 AM
Thanks guys. I will try the NC rule but she keeps texting though but as I like her I respond politely. But on the good part I am healing faster than I think as I was the bread winner in the relationship i.e. I pay for almost everything when we go out and buy her stuffs so I thought I was losing out hence the chase.

Thanks - I will take more advise which are always helpful...

slapshot_oi
Jul 5, 2012, 08:50 AM
Thanks guys. I will try the NC rule but she keeps texting though but as I like her I respond politely.
That isn't NC. Don't respond at all.

Block her number so she can't text you anymore.

joypulv
Jul 5, 2012, 09:34 AM
Why do you say 'of course' you are not too demanding? We don't know that. You did go through her phone AND confront her about it. That is off limits in my book.
On the other hand, it sounds like she is torn - but unfortunately it might just be because of money, since you keep paying for almost everything.
All in all, I'd say move on to the next attempt at love.

Mick0001
Jul 5, 2012, 09:57 AM
Many thanks all.
Surprisingly, I am healing faster than I thought. As I was the breadwinner in the relationship I always think this breakup has saved cost and always think negative about her. That's has help. I going NC again for the whole of the weekend and see what happens next.

slapshot_oi
Jul 5, 2012, 11:08 AM
I going NC again for the whole of the weekend and see what happens next.
You're not listening...

NC is forever, it's not for a finite period.