I've recently come to a realization after a 2 and a half year relationship. The love was solid but I have been asking myself lately, is it really worth it. See, I tried to make this girl happy over the last little while, it seemed to work for a while, but in the last week I started to question a few things. See the thing is, I've been able to acquire and maintain a job over the last 2 years, but some how it never seems to be enough. The problem is her needs and her inability and unwillingness to do the same.

I'm a strong believer of the 50/50. Everything gets split 50/50 no matter what it is. We have been apart from each other on a plan for her to go back to her home province to find work, while I do the same, so we can put a dent in and possibly eliminate our debt (together we have almost $10,000 between the two of us, my pay goes to the rent and food, and a small amount towards bills, but it's never enough).

The problem is, she hasn't been able to maintain a job for more than 3 days at a time. After the last job she just gave up. She hasn't been employed for the last year and bills between the two of us have just been piling upon top of each other and it's driving me nuts. After she got back home, she promised me that she would have a job within 2 weeks... It's been 6 weeks now and it turns out that she hasn't been looking, and no one's willing to hire her on account of her job history. And as it seems like, no one seems to know how to run a place of business now or no one's hiring. Kind of hard to believe since it is tourist season and there's literally thousands of jobs just waiting for people to take them.

So meanwhile, with me, I'm starting to have anger, resentment and hurt build up inside of me and something she says to me online just sets me off.

Anger -- at her, because she's not too motivated to put in her share of the 50/50, at myself because I let it happen.

Resentment -- because I think I moved to fast with her, a month into dating, we decided to take a place together and I didn't realize that she was the type of person who spent the majority of her time cooped up in a room sitting on her laptop, using Facebook and Youtube, while the world passed her by, including her scheduled shifts.

Hurt - because when I called her yesterday she told me that she hasn't found work, doesn't intend to find work, and plans to apply for Welfare. ---Broken Promises--- Welfare will only pay for medications on account of her living with her parents. I then realized that that last statement from her is what's about to set my anger off.

I then had to explain the realization that I've come to, to her because I don't want to live a life where 100% of the responsibility falls upon me.

The reason why I'm writing all of this is because over the last 2 years, we've had an apartment that we couldn't keep after 6 months, stayed with my mom for 6 months, had another apartment for 2 and a half months, stayed with her parents in their 'Little house' as they called it for 5 weeks, and then with my dad for a year. The last attempt was to get her to a different city so she could find a stable job. That attempt lasted for about 3 days. This is no life to live. It's not healthy for me or her, physically or emotionally.

I asked myself several questions over the last week...

I asked myself was the Love there? Yes it was. That's why I was so hurt to have to tell her it was over.

I also asked myself do I really want to throw away 2 and a half years? Well that one was easy. Yes, What choice did I have? Go back and live an unstable life with her in her parents basement doing nothing but computer stuff while not out there earning a living and paying off debt or, tackling my problems head on by myself with no support, as it was day one.

The only question that remains now, is because it hurt so bad... am I wrong for wanting to end 2 years because I want to pick up my life that has financially been shattered into a million pieces?

It really needs to be 50/50 in a long term relationship.