My husband wants a divorce. When we finally calmed down, we had a talk and he explained his reasons. He said that he still loves me, to a certain extent (I'm not sure what that means). He said he married me for all the wrong reasons, that at the time he thought he wanted to be married because he liked being seen as a grown up. We've been together for six years, married for almost two. He said he had seen red flags on me that he knew he shouldn't even dated me, but he when I asked if he fell in love with me at all, he said yes. So I'm thinking, he fell in love with me, and he still loves me, to a certain extent, so there must be hurtful things that I did/said that have been accumulated these whole years that he finally made him decide that he's done. However, when I asked if that's true or if he has any grudges towards me at all, he said no. He then said that he has been wanting to leave but never had the courage until now, and that he just has no feeling towards me anymore, that he has fallen out of love, hence he didn't want any counseling. He acknowledged that he's doing a terrible thing for dragging me for years, but he feels that this is the right decision. (I'm confuesd now, he said he still loved me, but also said he fell out of love.. He said he is happier now, and at peace, and when I asked if that's probably becausetheres no fight and arguments involved since he's been living apart for week, he said no. I see no sign of him having an affair or anything like that. I'm thinking that he is confused, he said he's trying to figure himself out, but insisted he knew this is the right decision because he had changed. I told him that marriages will always have ups and downs, that couples fall in and out of love throughout. But he then said that that sounded like heaven and hell to me. I didn't know what to respond to that. I asked if he believed that couples have to be in love all the time, he said yes. I told him he sounded delusionl because nobody does that, nobody is built that way. What is going on? I feel that now I'm more confused than before the conversation took place.. Any thoughts?

What happened to my answer?

Anyway - I said he might think the rush of a new romance lasts forever and it doesn't, it turns into something deeper.

Or maybe he really has fallen out of love with you.

Is there someone you can talk to, perhaps with (or without) him so you have peace of mind?

Unfortunately you pretty much can't make anyone do anything and if he wants to go I don't know how you can hold onto him.

Are there any children involved? And how can you be certain that there isn't someone else- have you asked him?

[QUOTE=Jake2008;3176750]Are there any children involved? And how can you be certain that there isn't someone else- have you asked him?[/QUOTE

No children, just a dog. I asked, and also checked phone bils, nothing fishy. He never went out weird hours and he always at work when he's supposed to since he give his schedule to me. When he went out, he told me with who and I always got a confirmation from pictures posted on fb by his friends since I know all of his friends.

What happened to my answer?

Anyway - I said he might think the rush of a new romance lasts forever and it doesn't, it turns into something deeper.

Or maybe he really has fallen out of love with you.

Is there someone you can talk to, perhaps with (or without) him so you have peace of mind?

Unfortunately you pretty much can't make anyone do anything and if he wants to go I don't know how you can hold onto him.

I think that too, and I told him nobody will be giddy over the other all the time because that love goes up to the next level and becomes more subtle and deeper. He wasn't having it. Maybe he really did fall out of love like he said. See, I got confused because many of his statements contradict the others. I know, I'm OK to let him go, I'm don't want to beg for love, I just want explanation and closures instead of parting ways with question marks all over the place.. I have a couple people that I talk to about this, but they get confused to.. that's why I'm here trying to see if somebody can help..

Sometimes there never is closure that suits both parties. He might think this IS closure. You may not.

I think you have to see it end with dignity. Maybe some day he'll open up. Maybe he never will.