I have been seeing my boyfriend for 2.5 years now. I used to work with him and did not realise he had a girlfriend the first time he asked me out. After the 2nd date (when he told me), I was already hooked.

He said his last relationship was a brother/sister relationship and that the lust had died long before he asked me out (he says he never even loved her) - but that he hadn't felt able to leave her because she had bulimia.

After 2 months he gently finished with her (after 4 years together) and we became a couple. 2.5 years, ups and downs later and we are still together.

I have difficulty trusting him as I know he is still in touch with his ex (only as friends he says) and because I saw him cheating the last time. We live 40 minutes away from each other and only see each other on a Sat/ Sun. For all I know, he could be doing anything when he doesn't see me.

He is 11 years older than me, never married, no kids and in a good job. I wonder whether he has any intentions to move in with me as I feel dissatisfied with this part time deal. I worry that I will seek comfort elsewhere, which I don't want to do.

He says he loves me and it will last forever but he doesn't want to rush this. Be patient he tells me.

Is he going to alter his single ways (38 yrs old) or am I fighting a losing battle? How long do I wait in hope?

Please help
X

It's hard to say for sure but I'd lean on the side of him not wanting to get serious. From his point of view I wouldn't be in a hurry to give up a good job. But if you are willing to move to where he lives and he still has hesitations then I would suspect he might have you as a weekend project.

I also think you have a right not to trust him even if he did end his relationship with the other woman he still cheated on her. If he didn't love her as he claims then the only reason he kept her around was as a back up plan for something better. After using her for 4 years he found you. So that tells you he is not above stringing someone along for a great length of time to get his way. To me that just isn't trustworthy.