heisgone
Jun 28, 2012, 06:43 PM
Ok here is the story. I've been friends with this guy for six years. He loved me for so long and I didn't even realize it cause I had my share of boyfriends and break-ups. However, one day things changed between us. It happened two years ago. He told me he was in love with me. At the time, I had loved him but not in-love. It was more like I loved him as a friend.
One day he asked to kiss me and we ended up doing more than just kiss. Not sex as in intercourse but everything else. From that day it continued on for a year. We were never officially together meaning we were still friends. I take responsibility for this since he wanted to be with me, and I just couldn't do it. It wasn;t I did not have feelings for him, it was he didn't have his life together and I'm extremely ambitious. While unfortunately he is not.
I tried to encourage him to reach his full potential but he didn't believe in himself. I stayed by his side cause I know he was going through a lot in his home and I truly cared for him. After that year, he started acting up and we seemed to keep fighting. I would be upset that he wouldn't talk to me anymore or call much.
It hurt. I was like if you want space or don't want to talk anymore then just tell me.
He would say he loves me and he isn't leaving my side. Well in the end, he did. For a year, we stopped talking and I was hurting so badly. I felt like it was my fault but I couldn't be with someone I was not in love with.
In the end, we talked again after a year and unfortunately we went back to the same place. It was my fault. I had gone through a horrible break-up and I was not trying to use him. Cause I'm not like that and I care for him. But I was a mess and not myself and we ended up doing it again. This went on for 5-6 months.
He said he could handle what was happening. Yet, now he won't talk to me. He ignores my calls. And the worst part is I am now in-love with him. I told him that but he seems not to care. I asked him if he wants this to end, I will respect his wishes. He said no he wants to be here and be friends. But then he never calls me and ignores me. It breaks my heart he lied to me. I don't know why he couldn't be honest. He has trouble expressing his feelings.
I know I am partially at fault and I can't undo what happened. But he is throwing away six years of friendship. He is my best friend. I miss him so badly it kills me inside.
I know I need to move on and let go and forgive him and myself. But I can't seem to accept its over. I just keep crying all the time. :(
What should I do?
One day he asked to kiss me and we ended up doing more than just kiss. Not sex as in intercourse but everything else. From that day it continued on for a year. We were never officially together meaning we were still friends. I take responsibility for this since he wanted to be with me, and I just couldn't do it. It wasn;t I did not have feelings for him, it was he didn't have his life together and I'm extremely ambitious. While unfortunately he is not.
I tried to encourage him to reach his full potential but he didn't believe in himself. I stayed by his side cause I know he was going through a lot in his home and I truly cared for him. After that year, he started acting up and we seemed to keep fighting. I would be upset that he wouldn't talk to me anymore or call much.
It hurt. I was like if you want space or don't want to talk anymore then just tell me.
He would say he loves me and he isn't leaving my side. Well in the end, he did. For a year, we stopped talking and I was hurting so badly. I felt like it was my fault but I couldn't be with someone I was not in love with.
In the end, we talked again after a year and unfortunately we went back to the same place. It was my fault. I had gone through a horrible break-up and I was not trying to use him. Cause I'm not like that and I care for him. But I was a mess and not myself and we ended up doing it again. This went on for 5-6 months.
He said he could handle what was happening. Yet, now he won't talk to me. He ignores my calls. And the worst part is I am now in-love with him. I told him that but he seems not to care. I asked him if he wants this to end, I will respect his wishes. He said no he wants to be here and be friends. But then he never calls me and ignores me. It breaks my heart he lied to me. I don't know why he couldn't be honest. He has trouble expressing his feelings.
I know I am partially at fault and I can't undo what happened. But he is throwing away six years of friendship. He is my best friend. I miss him so badly it kills me inside.
I know I need to move on and let go and forgive him and myself. But I can't seem to accept its over. I just keep crying all the time. :(
What should I do?