My husband recvd a text message from a friend of ours saying that she had a dream about him, he asked what about, and she said nothing, all good, yummm yummm!!

Is that OK?

Why would she message him in the first place to say so? Why make a point of it... Unless there's a hidden meaning!

Sounds to me like she is flirting with him and needs to be put in her place.

TOTALLY inappropriate. She's making advances on your husband. He needs to tell her to knock it off.

TOTALLY inappropriate. She's making advances on your husband. He needs to tell her to knock it off.

The good news... he told you. (Just guessing since you know the message was sent and his reaction to it.) Got to love a man who brings it home.

The bad news... she's hitting on him. Whether she says it's a joke or whatever... she's fishing. Lucky you, he didn't bite!

I'd say something to her, I wouldn't come off as mad or jealous--that only gives her the impression that you're threatened by her. I'd make it seem like you and your man took it as a joke. 'So you had a 'yummy' dream about XXX, too bad his 'bakery' only get's cookin' for me! *wink*'... ' If she has any sense, she'll feel a little embarrassed and she'll know you and your hubby have a relationship that's based upon trust and loyalty. If it weren't he'd never have told you.

Yeah exactly roby , totally agree!!
Great he told you, what a b***
Give that response to her she will be mortified!!

Well he said this happened a few months ago!

She lives far away and we don't see her very often anymore!

My husband agrees that its totally inappropriate and wonders what the hell she is playing at!

You could always take it as a compliment - you have a wanted man. :D

Also as we don't see her much, shall I message her or email her?
Or let it go!
But then again I want her to know I know because my man told ME ;)


TOTALLY inappropriate. She's making advances on your husband. He needs to tell her to knock it off.

Well my husbnad told me he told her to call him to ask her what the hell she is playing at, her response on text was - I cant, my husband is home!

Well he said this happened a few months ago!

She lives far away and we dont see her very often anymore!

My husband agrees that its totally inappropriate and wonders what the hell she is playing at!


The poor guy! LOL! He told you, even if it did happen a while ago. Some men don't know what to do with stuff like that. He was probably a little freaked out by it, plus he was probably a little freaked out by how you'd react. Face it--depending upon our moods and what day it is... we women can be sort of reactive about things. If he finally told you, he did so because it's bugging him.

If you don't see her often, all the better for you. But I still say let on that you know about it. Actually it's even better that it happened a while ago, you make a joke about it now and it comes off as not being so important that you 'call her out' on it right away.

Give your husband a big kiss and a hug and let him know you love him and you love the fact that you have a good enough relationship that he can tell you thngs... And let him know that you understand why someone else might think he's 'yummy'--because you do too.

As I don't see her often shall I mention it on email or text? As I will use the exact words you said because that's awesome I love it x

I do love him :)
and ill tell him again tonight

in most circumstances this would be inappropriate. I say most because I do know a couple who joke about things like this with friends and I could easily see either spouse getting something like this from a friend and it not being threatening.

since your husband seems to be upfront about this...

have him text her back, if it ever happens again... he should write her back, giving her YOUR phone number to send messages to.

you sleep with him. Any sultry deeds will be done by you.

=)

If you talk to her by e-mail or text do it that way. I'm sure you can figure out a way to 'work it into the conversation'... LOL! Maybe tell her you thought you'd drop a line to say Hi, it's been a while and you and husband 'were just talking about you the other day... we were laughing about that text message you sent him!'

She'll know he told you, that you both thought it was funny... and she'll feel like an idiot.

It's a compliment that your husband is attractive to other women, but more than that--he's got to be a really great guy to have told you something that probably wasn't easy for him to do. Your 'friend', on the other hand... wow, what a jerk--imagine how her husband must feel being married to someone who would do something like that.

So so true
OK will do that first thing tomo morning and I promise ill keep you posted!

THANK U XX

And shall I inform my husband about this email? Or no?

Good for you! I'd love to see the look on her face when you do it though!

Motorola Phone: $195.00
Monthly Cell Pmt: $ 49.95
Text message: $ .10
The look on her face when you pull out the rug: PRICELESS! LOL!

If he told you, you should tell him what you did.

By the sound of it--when she did this, he called her to ask her what the heck was going on. Would make me think that he didn't appreciate it much either.

I wouldn't tell my husband to call her and tell her what she did is out of line, makes it look like he got busted and was made to do it. If your husband has a sense of humor he should be cool with it. Guys do like that their women love them enough to get a little ticked at stuff like that too. He knows you appreciate him enough that it bugs you a little.

Just text her back and tell her... "Silly rabbit, text messages are for kids..have you been drinking??"

or "been there, done that" [with him]

=)

I would say something - like what was advised above.

But she defintely was fishing.

And I love the fact your husband told you.

Thanks wildcat I appreciate what you say about my man especially coming from you being the relationship expert.

I will email her! Hehe LOL

CATFIGHT!!

I just wanted to say how cool it was for you husband to tell you. We men get put down all the time for lying or hiding things and that was not the case there. That is definitely a man who respects you and his relationship.

Well guys, I have mailed her :) used the approach robynhgl said, sort of :- thought id email you to say hi, then popped it into the conversation.. LOL

This was 4 hrs ago, still NO response!!
Mmmmmmm

Still nothing!! I'm soooo curious to read her reply thou!

You dropped a bomb on her, wouldn't surprise me if she takes a while to answer back.

This was her reply : - 'What text is this you are talking about? I don't remember.. I'm not sure I've ever been interested in his bakers dozen he he he'

What do u make of that??

LOL! Took her that long to come up with that one? LOL!

I'd just tell her the text she sent back in (whenever it was sent)... 'too bad you forgot--we've been busting a gut over that one for months (weeks--how ever long ago it was)!'

Then just drop it--she's been caught. She's been called out. And you've made her a joke--worse, she now thinks your husband thinks she's a joke. Her ego is bruised. Works for me! LOL!

Done :)

I will let you know her reply, if there will be one!

<<not sure I've ever been interested >>

@!!

Gosh drop this woman, how do you know her actually?

Her reply :- "I’m confused… seriously. What text?? What have you been busting a gut over?"

WHAT??


<<not sure I’ve ever been interested >>

@!!!!!!!!

gosh drop this woman, how do you know her actually?

I know - disgusting!!

She is NOT sure she has ever been interested... nice!!

Your husband is one good man, he told you directly and at least you have no reason to think he is seeing her. As for this woman I would get her on phone and tell her either she stops contact or you will make sure her husband receives the text messages. That should put a end to her trying to cause trouble.

Did your husband talk to her on the phone when she sent the text message first or did he text back asking what she dreamt about?

Unless someone played a joke?

Yes he asked her to call him to see what she is playing at.

Well, she is still denying it, rather saying she doesn't remember!
Awfully weird if u tell me.

At that time her and her husband were going through a rough patch and separated shortly after my husbnad recvd this text from her, could u consider maybe it was her husband who sent this message? As he was suspicious that she was having an affair.

Im so confused.

You should call her, don't e-mail and ask what she was thinking. Tell her how inappropriate her behavior is and its offensive to your family values, she has none. Sounds like she is on the hunt and thinks your man will bite.

<,Yes he asked her to call him to see what she is playing at.
>>

Yes but did he talk to her directly?or was it all by stupid text?

Call her and ask her now I think.
Maybe it was her ex husband.

No she msged back saying I can't talk my husband is here

Sojunds like she's playing you. She knows darn well what text.

I'd just drop it now--she knows you know. No need to baet a dead whorse. ;)

Well she has dropped it, as she hasn't mailed back!

"well guys, i have mailed her used the approach robynhgl said, sort of :- thought id email you to say hi, then popped it into the conversation.. LOL

This was 4 hrs ago, still NO response!!!!!
mmmmmmm"


I don't agree with the getting in touch with her. You didn't take it too seriously... But her husband might - if he sees the message.

Oops! Sorry just don't agree with picking someone up on something they did long after the event. Maybe she did have a drink when she did it and regrets it.

Can't help feeling that this is like opening a can of worms.

When I said she needed putting in her place I didn’t realise you had not been in contact for some time.

No offence.

My husband recvd a text msg from a friend of ours saying that she had a dream about him, he asked wat about, and she said nothing, all good, yummm yummm!!!

Is that ok?

Why would she msg him in the first place to say so? Why make a point of it....Unless there's a hidden meaning!?

Dear Krs,

I wonder how she had gotten his personal number and secondly, that she was that confident or bold to write that if she only knows him enough to say hello? I think people on here are too ready to judge and it sounds like to me, that he must have given her some indication that he might have been available and/or that this was acceptable. That happened to me once with a very attractive man who never wore a marriage ring and gave signals that he was interested in me whether he meant to or not and soon I ended up texting him without knowing that in fact he was even married - it does happen quite frequently between people.

I doubt very much that she would have done this knowingly without having balls of pure steel. I am on your side here, but situations rarely present themselves like this without some means of opportunity and no person texts another without there being something that preseeds the initial meeting between your husband and this girl. What she did was wrong I totally agree but doesn't sound accidental either. Clearly the best thing to do is to do as you did and to ignore it. She can't have anything with your husband if you and him are in a secure relationship and you both love and value each other strongly enough to not feel insecure by this woman's behavior. She has gotten the message and so she should not do it again if she is told by your husband that this is innapropriate and does not want her texting him again. If she continues despite this, then inform the police that she is harassing your marriage and they will deal with the matter further.

KRS, before I post an answer, and please forgive me if I missed it here, is this the same friend you were having "problems" with last year around this time?

Can't help feeling that this is like opening a can of worms.
I agree. What's the point? You and your hubby are fine, and there's no real need to get in her face about it. As someone suggested, she may not even have sent it, it could have been her husband playing games. Too much drama. Who needs it? Let sleeping dogs lie.

If this is the same friend she was having problems with this time last year, there is much more to the story. And understanding that story, the answers, I am sure, will be different than what she is receiving right now.

Dear Krs,

I wonder how she had gotten his personal number and secondly, that she was that confident or bold to write that if she only knows him enough to say hello?. I think people on here are too ready to judge and it sounds like to me, that he must have given her some indication that he might have been available and/or that this was acceptable. That happened to me once with a very attractive man who never wore a marriage ring and gave signals that he was interested in me whether he meant to or not and soon I ended up texting him without knowing that in fact he was even married - it does happen quite frequently between people.

I doubt very much that she would have done this knowingly without having balls of pure steel. I am on your side here, but situations rarely present themselves like this without some means of opportunity and no person texts another without there being something that preseeds the initial meeting between your husband and this girl. What she did was wrong I totally agree but doesn't sound accidental either. Clearly the best thing to do is to do as you did and to ignore it. She can't have anything with your husband if you and him are in a secure relationship and you both love and value each other strongly enough to not feel insecure by this woman's behavior. She has gotten the message and so she should not do it again if she is told by your husband that this is innapropriate and does not want her texting him again. If she continues despite this, then inform the police that she is harassing your marriage and they will deal with the matter further.

I have to disagree. My husband is a good man and doesn't give any signals to any women. He always wears is wedding ring and besides she has his personal mob number because we were or are friends, I have her ex-husbnads mob number too! We have known these people for years!

If this is the same friend she was having problems with this time last year, there is much more to the story. And understanding that story, the answers, I am sure, will be different than what she is receiving right now.

Thanks J_9... you are quick, as I said yes she is the same girl...

He always wears is wedding ring and besides she has his personal mob number because we were or are friends, i have her ex-husbnads mob number too!. We have known these people for years!

Just out of curiousity what does mob stand for or mean in the Mediterean? Because in the United States the mob is organized crime and nobody would mess with the wife of a member of the mob. She might lose more than your friendship.

Lofl, in the mediterrean.. mob is short of mobile :)

OHHHHHH!! Okay, you had me wondering for a minute there.

Well so far she hasn't replied!
The last mail from her said :-"Nope – really don't remember.. honestly. Is that why you didn't visit me over xmas?!"


I replied saying, very weird as it came from your mob! And the reason we didn't visit in xmas wasn't due to this text message! (which is true)...

J_9 would understand why we didn't visit her at xmas.

Oh, Krs, what are we going to do with you and this gal "friend"? LOL

She caused you the same grief last year at almost the same time. Am I safe to assume that she wants to come visit you again?

Remember what we talked about last year, in that this is not a true friend if she comes on to your husband?

Folks, this is not the first time this girl has done this to Krs and her hubby, this is actually an ongoing long drawn out thing.

Krs, can I ask why you are still friends with this girl if she refuses to respect your boundaries? It may be time to change your hubbys mobile number and not give it to her.

Oh my! I didn't know there was a history.
Gosh why on earth are you still friends with the b****?

Oh, Krs, what are we gonna do with you and this gal "friend"? LOL

she caused you the same grief last year at almost the exact same time. Am I safe to assume that she wants to come visit you again?

Remember what we talked about last year, in that this is not a true friend if she comes on to your husband?

Folks, this is not the first time this girl has done this to Krs and her hubby, this is actually an ongoing long drawn out thing.

Krs, can I ask why you are still friends with this girl if she refuses to respect your boundaries? It may be time to change your hubbys mobile number and not give it to her.

Thanks again Janine.

Yes I remember what we spoke about when the issues first arose. I took all into account of what you explained and I thank you for that.

Well as to why I'm still friends, well, its abit tricky. When we were last over to visit our friends, I must admit I didn't try to contact her. My hubby and I are very good mates with her ex hubby and visited him a lot when we were over, the unfortunate thing is her ex and this 'friend' are still friends themselves, so a few times we were over at his (the ex) house, he called her to say we are over and she turned up, then she insisted that she takes us out to dinner, I was going to refuse if it was just me my hubby and her, but a group of mates were joining so we went.

That night the taxi came for us at her ex's house, she was there too. My hubby got in the taxi first - sat at the back, I was still indoors, and she throw away her cigarette immediately and jumped at the back sit near him!! I didn't want to throw a fuss over that as I sat in front of my hubby and he wouldn't let go of my hand!

I just don't get her!

But I haven't heard back from her since my last correspondence with her on fri!
Who knows... maybe this did it!

[QUOTE=J_9]Oh, Krs, what are we gonna do with you and this gal "friend"? LOL

she caused you the same grief last year at almost the exact same time. Am I safe to assume that she wants to come visit you again?

[QUOTE=J_9]

Hahaha, yes she does want to come visit us this yr..! Oh no she isn't!

Did she say she wants to come see you (your husband) this year?

Aha she did, when she took us out for a meal with our mates.

I claimed our place 'may not' be ready in June. She said 'i don't care, I want to see my buddies, ill stay in a hotel'...

But she hasn't replied to my last email last Fri!!

Just don't bother to talk to her again and save yourself and your husband a lot of drama!!

I'd just leave it be, if she has the nerve to bring it up again I'd tell her 'NO'. If she asks why, then be honest with her---her past behavior is inappropriate and in light of it, you do not feel that she is the type of person you choose to welcome into your home or your life.

Yep.. totally, I isn't going to email her and I'm hoping she won't either!

Im confused though why she said she don't remember sending this text because she is a very upfront person... and doesn't hold things back!

Why do you think she has done so? Saying she don't remember?

Why bother yourself with it anymore? Why be confused?

Fact is--the message came from her phone, your husband told you, there is a pattern of behavior in the past that makes you uncomfortable.

Who cares if she remembers or not--YOU know and will remember. End of story.

So true again!

I guess her not replying says enough, don't it?

... so... end of ;)

Quick update guys...

NO emails or messages from HER!!

Guilty as hell if you tell me ;)

Its been 3 weeks now!!
That shows what a 'great' friend she is... all bull*cks!

She denies it, and denies it, then asks is that why I didn't visit our xmas and that was it no more correspondence from her.

Hi again Krs,

I can't help but wonder how this whole situation arose? It would take a woman of pure steel to openly show signs of interest she has in your husband, but what puzzles me is that no woman would dare do anything like this if it was all self-induced?? - this would imply that she suffers from an obsessive personality disorder and/or that she is mentally unbalanced in some way shape or form.

I can't see her having done what she did without there being some element of your husband who had indirectly without meaning to, given the indication that her flirtations are okay. Men even married ones, can and do admire other women in subtle and less obvious ways and sometimes without their wives knowledge. This wouldn't mean to say that he did this knowingly to hurt you or to cause any stress in your relationship, but often we take it for granted that are partners are meant to be faithful to the last core of their being. If only it worked like this!

I have known married men to have flirted with other married women and single women and is a common problem in many marriages and is not a unique thing but isn't something for you to get upset about if it is you he is with and sleeps with ever night. He clearly loves you to be with you. But a wandering eye from time to time happens to lots of us without there being any real meaning to what we do. I am single and so it is okay and I am female, but I know married men and I like one of them very much and he flirts outrageously with me without his wife even knowing he does this. I don't do it back anymore but he is a very attractive man and women will look at him. I guess what I am trying to say if you will have the patience to listen to me, is that all men look at other women married or not.

I am pretty convinced that your husband had inadvertently flirted (not knowingly) with this women who likes him and is attracted to him and felt safe enough to send the message to him because he gave the indication that somehow this was okay? Maybe wanting you to find out if for instance, you are not in a particularly passionate marriage? Some married men do things to get their wives attention and this is one example I have come across before and hence the reason why I have suggested it to you. This doesn't make what the woman did acceptable at all, but she only did what she felt was okay to do given your husband's own body language of approval perhaps? You can't just assume that she did this without a cause at all because in fact, it does sound far too outrageous to think of it like that.

Why risk her own marriage on a crush? Women are not stupid and wouldn't do something like what she did without there being a point or objective to it. Unless she is mentally ill, I can't see how she would do something like this for apparently no real good reason at all. It would take a very stupid woman to do something like text her friend's husband asking him to have dreams about her (It seems a little bizarre to me) . I can't help but see this situation in a much broader light and because there are too many gaps in what I am seeing and hearing. Something preceded this act of sabotage towards your marriage and it didn't start with the text message - there is more to this because there has to be.

If you don't read my post and ignore it like the last one, then it proves my point - you are ignorant to what you want to hear or see and why women like you live in castles in the air thinking that their husbands are their knights and can do no wrong and therefore, the whole world is to blame but not him. Wake up and smell the coffee and get real - your husband isn't a saint and can't protect your insecurities always when he has his own vulnerabilities and faults like everyone else does.

I am not being mean, but realistic and sure hope you can see this for yourself?

I hear an echo...

A well known member here quotes often: " women want what they can't have - - - ALWAYS and like a challenge."

Could this be what is happening here with the so called friend?

Hi Amazing! I appreciate your honestly, but I don't appricate you calling me arrogant.

I believe no one is perfect, nor am I, and nor is my husband. But how dare you say he flirted with this women when you don't even know my husband. My husband isn't a flirt... I know when I see a man flirt, and he isn't 1 of those married men... he talks to females.. but there is a grand difference between chatting and flirting! So I'm a 100% sure that he gave no evidence of interest to this women.

You don't know half the story. My husband has known this women for 15 years. She WAS married my my hubby's best friend.. she isn't anymore, she left him! My husband always thought highly of her and so did I. When she was married she was a different person with different morals.. Once she left her husband she changed... and things with her now are... (for example) "oh its only sex" "oh its only skin" and everything is only this and only that.. Her values don't compare to the values me and my husband have. We are a team, she WAS a friend that went overboard.

Also if there was any hint of flirtation from my husband's side... then why on earth would he have told ME his wife about this message?? And another thing she didn't ask my husband to have dreams about her, if you read my post properly she said she had a yum yum dream about him!!

I didn't ignore your other post.. again if you looked closer you would have seen that I actually DID answer you on page 5 of this thread!!

I am in a very passionate marriage. He is my best friend, my lover, my life!
You can't jump to conclusions just because married men flirted with you!

I would definitely have words with her just to let her know your guy told you all about it. That may make her think twice the next time. Yes, she definitely is flirting but does he NEED to tell you more ?

I would definitely have words with her just to let her know your guy told you all about it. That may make her think twice the next time. Yes, she definitely is flirting but does he NEED to tell you more ?

Oh I have ;)

What do u mean "but does he NEED to tell you more"?

Its been 5 weeks of no contact.
I obviously have not bothered to mail her... she has done the same.

She is no friend, she denied that text message, if she were a real friend she would have mailed... well I isn't missing nothing, am I?

Hey guys, need some advice!

The girlfriend of this so call called friends ex-husband is asking me what's up between us?

Shall I tell or is this not so wise?

No don't bother, forget about it and don't bother with any of them.
They are not real friends , and I don't think you need them in your life if they are all causing you drama.

Well this so called "friend" is causing the sh*t, her ex-husband and his new girlfriend arnt at all, they are actually very good mates of mine.
Thanks for the advice thou and I will not tell his new girlfriend.