My boyfriend and I have been together for almost four years. We are both bisexual but in love. He always told me from the beginning he wouldn't touch himself sexually because he found it disgusting. He has always had trouble coping with his bisexuality and lying to me.

A few nights ago we had a fight and went our separate ways in our apartment. I went to bed and waited for him there, when all of a sudden the lights in the living room went off and he didn't come to bed. I went to see what he was doing and I found him touching himself in front of his computer. He denied it until he couldn't anymore and he just wanted to go to bed because he was embarrassed.

I was crying and asked him to tell me honestly if he was thinking about me while he was doing it and he said yes. But that answer didn't sit well for me so I went back to check his computer history and I saw he was looking at multiple pictures of a guy friend of ours. I was furious that he lied to me. And now, I feel like I can't trust him, I'm super jealous, and feel inadequate and not what he wants. He said that was the first time he did it and he feels disgusted with himself and loves me but I'm truly broken. I don't know what to do.

First of all... WOW
Im sorry that happened to you!
I think every relationship has struggles, but try going to counseling or just sitting down and talking to each other..
If he is lying there might be a reason, give him a reason to trust you.. build him up, make him feel really strong! Then ask him, give him the assurance your not going to hurt him..
Or
Just ask him if he still wants to be in a relationship..

Wow you have to be a very insecure person to even ask him that question and bet he knew that. Anyone would have lied to avoid a tantrum or a river of tears. To bad it didn't work. To bad you made a big deal out of a private moment.

So he touched himself while looking at familiar images and your world is shattered??

Maybe you calm down and get a better grip! Then maybe you can talk and not play the hurt victim, and guilt trip your partner. That's the kind of thing that breeds lies from shame and embarrassment.

Lets be real, you both have issues that you should be helping each other with, instead of freaking out, and making them worse. Or else what's the point after 4 years?