My ex husband hasn't taken advantage of his WA state court ordered visitation for the past 2 years, and 16 months of no communication from him.

(He was never consistent when he did take him previously, I have calendar journals with dates, times, and excuses as to why he wouldn't take him.)


I've never denied him access to our son. I don't believe I should have to go out of my way to force a relationship between the two of them. He's an adult and should be take the initiative if our son was important enough to him. We haven't been to court since the finalization of our divorce and just nervous to deal with a judge again, after all these years.

Also, when I have asked general questions regarding my concerns for son's well being, safety and care while with him, I am told it's none of my business by the ex. He refuses to provide me an current address and currently resides with a woman that is still married to her current husband. She even has a protection orders in place against him. I believe I have the right to know how my son is cared and who is he around considering he would come home filthy, hungry, and emotional upset.

Out of the blue within the last week, my ex has asked to see our son again. Since my son is 5 years old, I don't believe it's a healthy mix and that regular full time weekend visitations should even be considered, until our son is reacquainted with him. I suggested supervised visitation at his expense be put into place working on a gradual schedule of consistent visitation (supervised) and shall a visitation be missed because of an excuse other than our son being sick or something beyond our control, the gradual schedule should start over.

Is this a fair plan? Would it be better for me to take the steps and have the modification filed with the court or wait for him to spend his time, money and energy since he is the one that's clearly in the wrong after 2 years of not seeing his son? Also, money has ALWAYS been a factor for him. He's always been angry/bitter that I received court order support and believe he should only have to pay what he thinks he should versus what the court ordered.

My ex husband hasn't taken advantage of his WA state court ordered visitation for the past 2 years, and 16 months of no communication from him.

(He was never consistent when he did take him previously, I have calendar journals with dates, times, and excuses as to why he wouldn't take him.)


I've never denied him access to our son. I don't believe I should have to go out of my way to force a relationship between the two of them. He's an adult and should be take the initiative if our son was important enough to him. We haven't been to court since the finalization of our divorce and just nervous to deal with a judge again, after all these years.

Also, when I have asked general questions regarding my concerns for son's well being, safety and care while with him, I am told it's none of my business by the ex. He refuses to provide me an current address and currently resides with a woman that is still married to her current husband. She even has a protection orders in place against him. I believe I have the right to know how my son is cared and who is he around considering he would come home filthy, hungry, and emotional upset.

Out of the blue within the last week, my ex has asked to see our son again. Since my son is 5 years old, I don't believe it's a healthy mix and that regular full time weekend visitations should even be considered, until our son is reacquainted with him. I suggested supervised visitation at his expense be put into place working on a gradual schedule of consistent visitation (supervised) and shall a visitation be missed because of an excuse other than our son being sick or something beyond our control, the gradual schedule should start over.

Is this a fair plan? Would it be better for me to take the steps and have the modification filed with the court or wait for him to spend his time, money and energy since he is the one that's clearly in the wrong after 2 years of not seeing his son? Also, money has ALWAYS been a factor for him. He's always been angry/bitter that I received court order support and believe he should only have to pay what he thinks he should versus what the court ordered.

YOU can't mandate supervised supervision... you and he both have to comply with the terms of the court ordered schedule. Only the court can mandate supervised visitation and you are going to have to provide what the court would consider complelling reasons and proof why they should do it.

I suggested supervised visitation at his expense ...
Would it be better for me to take the steps and have the modification filed with the court or wait for him to spend his time, money and energy ...

I have to agree with smoothy.You cannot dictate supervised visitation and if you go to court it will be your burden to prove with clear and convincing evidences that he is a real danger to the child.