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View Full Version : Just need to vent. I have crazy jealousy and it's ruining my marriage.


momama112
Jun 25, 2012, 07:50 PM
Hello. I have been married to my husband for 12 1/2 years and with him for 16. We have 2 awesome boys. I am so completely in love with my husband and truly love him more and more every day. I have always been very jealous of any female he talks to. Looking back it is pretty ridiculous. He has never cheated on me but my constant questioning and accusing him of things does tend to push him away.

I've accused him of cheating even though I know he hasn't---we are together ALL the time and there is never a time when I don't know where he is. I know it sounds crazy but it's true. I have a very bad habit of checking his phone records (there is never anything there) and even tracking him with our family tracker phone feature. It is ridiculous and I realize it. He gets so upset when I accuse him of things, which he has every right to. I can honestly say that I wouldn't want someone constantly accusing me of things I wasn't doing. I know he loves me. He is absolutely amazing. I am pushing him away and that is the last thing I want to do. I don't know how to stop. I get crazy anxiety and my heart pounds, I can't eat.

What is wrong with me. I know I should see a doctor but we don't have insurance right now and can't really afford it. How can I stop acting crazy. If he knew half of the crazy "stalking" I did, he would be furious. I realize it is wrong. I need help to stop.

bonita82
Jun 25, 2012, 08:45 PM
Try going through the state and get counseling for free if you can.

B93
Jun 26, 2012, 08:44 AM
Hi..
U claim to love him right?if you love him,u should trust him.. its quite normal to get a bit possessive about him but I think this is a bit too much.if you keep doubting him,he will feel you don't know him,u don't understand him,u don't trust him.. is this what you want?and if someone else understand him,show trust in him,won't it draw him closer to that person?it's natural.then am sure u'll get jealous.u should try to control yourself.I am jealous too and being too much jealous causes pain and insecurity.when you can be happy,u should grab the opportunity rather than 'spoiling' things.. try to consult a doctor if you need more help but I believe it should be in u.. u should know what you are doing and how to manage things out.. ok?:)
I wish you the very best and may things get better.
Take care

WisperWill70
Jun 26, 2012, 09:35 AM
Trust issues and fear and anxiety at this level relate to your feelings about YOURSELF more than they do to the actuality of perceived threats or possible threats... and it's time to get some help because part of you is trying to destroy your relationship. You yourself are aware that you're pushing away someone who cares about you - and it's time to find out the REAL reason you're doing this and to help you cope with anxiety. You can learn to trust good things, and accept positive relationship - but you have to let go of the mistrust "shield" you're using. Most areas have free, low-cost or sliding scale counseling avenues. Look into it.

Something to keep in mind: whether you trust him or not, whether you stalk and pry and spy, whether you accuse or control by asking and poking around or not... none of this has a positive influence on faithfulness. If a partner wants to cheat they'll cheat... there's nothing you can do to stop it! Since you can't control it.. it's better to focus on other things. The thing you do to lessen the chances of infidelity is to commit yourself to the relationship, loving, trusting and communicating with your mate.

talaniman
Jun 26, 2012, 06:29 PM
You are right, you should see a doctor, so see if there is state, local, or county help to see one.