I'm 30 divorced after 10 years with 3 kids and she's 28 divorced with no kids but want her own eventually. We met on a dating site ( the option in my town is bad) and met after a week of Talking on the phone and texting. We hit it of on our first date! Dinner, drove around he city and had the most amazing conversations that kept us smiling a laughing for almost 2 hr. I ended up staying the night... wink wink and it was like 2 old friends meeting for the first time. We followed up the next day doing the same thing except in my town. (we live an hr and a half apart) she accepts my kids and is very good with them.

4 months later we are in love, every weekend for the last 4 months is when we get to see each other. Some are just us and some are us and the kids doing things. She's not against moving here to be closer and see each other day to day but can't afford it at the time. Nether of us have a place of our own to be alone in so it makes it hard. To be alone requires an baby sitter and a hotel room. This week she has told me she needs time to think. That 3 kids are much sometimes but not a big problem(she just wanted to be honest about it), that she feels like all we do when we are alone is have sex and she wants to be able to just spent time with me. We do spent time together and our sex life is amazing but I guess it's just not enough physical time doing things together. She said she feels like she works her off all week and then it's family time all weekend. She feels like she's behind on life because her ex husband promised her so many things, i.e. kids and she doesn't think I'll want more if we got to that point even though I told her I wouldn't a problem if we got to that point in our relationship and we were married.

I also brought up that it's way to early to even be talking about that. We both have been very open from day one, both looking for a real relationship and not just sex and someone to hang out with. She has a lot is stress at work and hates her living situation at her mothers house with her father and grandmother. I learned a lot from my ten year marriage, like how to see hidden problems or deal with arguments or situations that pop up and I don't get that with her. She said she loves me and is not against living closer or even with me but she can't afford to move and I don't have a place for her either. She needs time to think about everything ,not just us... not a break or break up.

We canceled plans we had this past weekend because of it and might possibly be canceling is weekend. When I asked her about it yesterday she asked "can we talk about it later in the week" I said OK. She says we will have many more weekends where we don't see each other and we knew that so I don't think she's trying to break up. We both have never met someone we connected with so well the way we do, we talk about that a lot sometimes. I'm so happy I feel like this could be the one but this week has just ed my head up and has caused me to feel depressed. She's having a lot of problems at once on top of a semi long distance relationship and I can understand that. I want to be there for her just as much as she want me to be there.

How do I approach this?. iv read some of the threads on here but figured I'd put my problem up and see what I get from it. I'm trying to learn about this whole relationship process and how to read it and react because my 10 marriage was a complete disaster because I jump in way to fast and learn what not to do. I want to know how to deal with this and not get mad or upset or depressed like I did with my marriage. She says I'm amazing and she loves me. To me I don't understand why she wouldn't keep going the way we are until we have a better option ( as far as living situation) that will eventually come and we are supposed to be taking it slow anyway and both agreed the distance wasn't a problem when we first met.

Boy are you Mr. Eager Beaver. Relax, slow down, let the girl breath, and catch her breath. Let her miss you. I know you are thrilled and ready to go, but she isn't. This is a big deal to her, and being in an instant family requires a LOT of independent thoughtfulness on her part.

So let her think without your influence and just be dad all by yourself on those weekends. Its just to early for full speed ahead all the time. You can't just smother her by dominating ALL of her free time can you? I know, you would love to, and would if she let you.

That's not what she wants, so don't make this a big deal, just control yourself and do your thing. I mean I doubt she is going anywhere so just CHILL!

Boy are you Mr. Eager Beaver. relax, slow down, let the girl breath, and catch her breath. Let her miss you. I know you are thrilled and ready to go, but she isn't. This is a big deal to her, and being in an instant family requires a LOT of independent thoughtfulness on her part.

So let her think without your influence and just be dad all by yourself on those weekends. Its just to early for full speed ahead all the time. You can't just smother her by dominating ALL of her free time can you? I know, you would love to, and would if she let you.

Thats not what she wants, so don't make this a big deal, just control yourself and do your thing. I mean I doubt she is going anywhere so just CHILL!




Thanks, I've kept cool and followed some of the info I've seen on here about giving space and cutting down on the texting and calling ( she calls me just about all the time to be honest) and I'm not full steam ahead really and I brought up taking it slow from the start. But that's what I'm looking for down the road. And as far as taking up all of her time on the weekends? She pushes for the weekend more then I do, making plans and trips that involve the kids and stuff like that and then surprising me with it. Which I love! She's great! When she comes to see me it's a family thing because I have all 3 by myself, the mother live hours away in another state and that kind of hinders my ability to share the visits and not have her coming here more then I go there. But I'll gladly take your advice, thanks