aliceinwonder
Jun 24, 2012, 10:38 AM
Just because I can’t get it out of my head I figured I’d post about this.
The guy who played me I’ve known for 10 years, so we have a pretty extensive history. At the same time he probably wouldn't even talk about me to his friends or acknowledge my existence, so we're off to a great start. Basically at the start of our friendship the whole thing was pretty one sided. This guy was into me and I didn’t really return the feelings. We hung out and sometimes would cuddle but really I considered him more of a friend. We both dated other people, but remained friends always talking and relying on each other. Always very open about our feelings, that kind of thing. About 3 years ago this guy let’s call him Joseph, asked me to split up with my long term boyfriend to be with him. Prior to this I had cheated on boyfriends with Joseph. He was always hitting on me and that kind of attention turned into affection for him.
So I dumped my long term boyfriend and told Joseph. We slept together for the 1st time but I thought it definitely meant something because it felt like Joseph had been chasing me for a few years. So now I’m essentially "single" with a causal relationship with Joseph. It suited me just fine. This causal relationship has now lasted for about 3 years and our friendship has just started fizzling. Joseph barely speaks to me except to tell me he doesn’t like me that way. I can accept someone’s' feelings changing except we slept together like maybe a month ago. So I find it all very confusing, except he never talks to me outside of the sex. We hook up like every few months and sadly I’ve been initiating it for the past year I’d say.
I want to quit, but he's like a drug I can’t give up. I think it’s safe to say I’m in love with him, but he never shies away from telling me "it’s just sex" for him. So I feel like, most of the time, and can’t move on. I hate him, he makes me so mad and I think about him mostly all day. Sucks because if he were to call me though, I’d probably forget all the anger and just go over. At least that’s what usually happens. I just need advice on how to move on. I don’t even want to, but I can’t keep feeling so pathetic.
Thx
The guy who played me I’ve known for 10 years, so we have a pretty extensive history. At the same time he probably wouldn't even talk about me to his friends or acknowledge my existence, so we're off to a great start. Basically at the start of our friendship the whole thing was pretty one sided. This guy was into me and I didn’t really return the feelings. We hung out and sometimes would cuddle but really I considered him more of a friend. We both dated other people, but remained friends always talking and relying on each other. Always very open about our feelings, that kind of thing. About 3 years ago this guy let’s call him Joseph, asked me to split up with my long term boyfriend to be with him. Prior to this I had cheated on boyfriends with Joseph. He was always hitting on me and that kind of attention turned into affection for him.
So I dumped my long term boyfriend and told Joseph. We slept together for the 1st time but I thought it definitely meant something because it felt like Joseph had been chasing me for a few years. So now I’m essentially "single" with a causal relationship with Joseph. It suited me just fine. This causal relationship has now lasted for about 3 years and our friendship has just started fizzling. Joseph barely speaks to me except to tell me he doesn’t like me that way. I can accept someone’s' feelings changing except we slept together like maybe a month ago. So I find it all very confusing, except he never talks to me outside of the sex. We hook up like every few months and sadly I’ve been initiating it for the past year I’d say.
I want to quit, but he's like a drug I can’t give up. I think it’s safe to say I’m in love with him, but he never shies away from telling me "it’s just sex" for him. So I feel like, most of the time, and can’t move on. I hate him, he makes me so mad and I think about him mostly all day. Sucks because if he were to call me though, I’d probably forget all the anger and just go over. At least that’s what usually happens. I just need advice on how to move on. I don’t even want to, but I can’t keep feeling so pathetic.
Thx