kelseyo808
Jun 23, 2012, 11:50 PM
Do my ex and I have a chance?
I was dating this guy for about 8 months. The first 2 were unofficial, but we acted like a real couple and I could tell he wanted it to go somewhere because he even asked me a couple times, “where is this going”? After those 2 months we got in a huge fight, but all friends with benefits relationships explode eventually right? But this was a good explosion, it forced us to acknowledge our feelings and we decided to make things official.
Everything was perfect. We had so much fun and our chemistry was so great. Then, a month before our relationship ended, he went on this 3 week trip for work. I texted him as soon as he got there asking how it was, and we had a short text conversation. I knew he would be busy, so I figured id let him contact me next. I didn’t hear from him for a week and half, which is a long time for us, and I think that would be a long time for any couple. I was so angry. I was thinking about breaking up with him when he got back. I felt like he didn’t care about me and was being a ty boyfriend. Which may have been correct. I finally texted him asking him what the hell was up. He just replied saying how busy he has been, and that I could have been texting him too. But I think the “text ball” was in his court, and he didn’t make a move. He called me after and we got into a huge fight. He couldn’t possibly see how I could be so mad. Even till this day, its so obvious to me why I was mad! He was ignoring me and not putting in ANY effort to communicate with me? It takes 20 SECONDS to text someone, sheesh! I told him I thought he was being a sh*tty boyfriend. I think he was, but maybe I shouldn’t have said that. Before this trip, he was good at communicating. Then, he went on the trip, and he all of a sudden wasn’t.
He got home, and immediately I could tell things felt a wee bit different. It was very subtle though, and I brushed it off. After a week of him being home, we had hung out 3 times. Every time I went home from hanging out with him I kind of felt sad, instead of happy and missing him already, which is how I used to feel when I left to go back home after hanging out. The 3rd time this sad feeling was really strong. After he walked to my car I called him come back. I then told him “this isn’t working anymore” we realized we both thought that things felt different now and that that we felt like we didn’t have the deepest connection. (before the trip I was ready to say I love you, after the trip I was too hurt to even think about saying it, I would agree that our connection had maybe deteriorated) I told him that the last couple times we had sex, I thought that he didn’t seem very into it, and he said that he is, he just feels like all we do is have sex. (what? He is a guy, right? ) I did not agree with this. He said too it kind of tripped him out I just started taking the pill, he said he hasn’t been in a serious relationship like that in a long time. I though the pill was doing us a favor? Anyway that’s besides the point. Anyway, he said we “lost our fun” and maybe we could just see each other less and only in groups to get our “fun” back. I said no, I either wanted to fix our relationship or break up. He also said he thinks its better to cut off something that isn’t working early, vs dragging it out. He said he thinks relationships should be effortless. That is immature right? I mean you have to try at least a little in relationships! But now I am not sure if he meant relationships should be effortless, or if falling in love should be effortless. Because I agree, you shouldn't have to try to fall in love. He also said that him and his band want to move eventually, and it would be easier to break up now. He also said more than once he didn’t want to be the bad guy. It took him a looong time to there, but he chose to break up. Its funny, I started the conversation wanting to maybe break up, but I changed my mind, but HE ended up doing it! As for the breakup, he said “well see how it goes.” It is so hard when someone breaks up with you while they're holding you hand. He texted me the next day to ask how I was holding up. I said “not so great :/” and I asked him the same, he said “im okay too :/”
I saw him a week later at a concert. I knew he would be there. But I already had tickets, I wasn’t going to bail on the concert just because he was there. I wanted to say hi, because I thought we were on friendly terms, plus I had on a hot outfit! I said hi to him, he just looked at me like he didn’t know me. This startled me to no end. I ended up practically stalking him the rest of the night. I think I went up to him 5 times. I asked him if we could be friends with benefits. I know. So embarrassing right? Alcohol did have a part in this. I was so embarrassed after. The next day I called to apologize. He was really nice about it. He said he still liked me and that he enjoyed every minute with me, he just doesn’t think he have potential for a deeper conncection. But he said even if we did manage to get a deeper connection, it would be hard because he said he is probably moving eventually. We then talked about the rest of our weekend like old times. At the end of the conversation I was like talk to you later? Or actually, maybe, I don’t know…? And he said if you want to keep in touch, I'm cool with that. And I said, OK, its probably better to keep in touch than not keep in touch. And he was like OK cool talk to you later, good night. And I said good night.
It has been a few weeks since of no contact.
Does he still have feelings for me? Is there a chance? The more I think about, I think he took it hard that I called him a sh*tty boyfriend. I really think he doesn't believe he did anything wrong by not texting me. However, I still believe that if he cared about me more/liked me more, he would have texted. Also, even though I think they may actually be moving, I feel like that is a bullsh*t reason to break up because his identical twin just made things official with his new girl.
We are 24 years old. Just thought I would mention.
I was dating this guy for about 8 months. The first 2 were unofficial, but we acted like a real couple and I could tell he wanted it to go somewhere because he even asked me a couple times, “where is this going”? After those 2 months we got in a huge fight, but all friends with benefits relationships explode eventually right? But this was a good explosion, it forced us to acknowledge our feelings and we decided to make things official.
Everything was perfect. We had so much fun and our chemistry was so great. Then, a month before our relationship ended, he went on this 3 week trip for work. I texted him as soon as he got there asking how it was, and we had a short text conversation. I knew he would be busy, so I figured id let him contact me next. I didn’t hear from him for a week and half, which is a long time for us, and I think that would be a long time for any couple. I was so angry. I was thinking about breaking up with him when he got back. I felt like he didn’t care about me and was being a ty boyfriend. Which may have been correct. I finally texted him asking him what the hell was up. He just replied saying how busy he has been, and that I could have been texting him too. But I think the “text ball” was in his court, and he didn’t make a move. He called me after and we got into a huge fight. He couldn’t possibly see how I could be so mad. Even till this day, its so obvious to me why I was mad! He was ignoring me and not putting in ANY effort to communicate with me? It takes 20 SECONDS to text someone, sheesh! I told him I thought he was being a sh*tty boyfriend. I think he was, but maybe I shouldn’t have said that. Before this trip, he was good at communicating. Then, he went on the trip, and he all of a sudden wasn’t.
He got home, and immediately I could tell things felt a wee bit different. It was very subtle though, and I brushed it off. After a week of him being home, we had hung out 3 times. Every time I went home from hanging out with him I kind of felt sad, instead of happy and missing him already, which is how I used to feel when I left to go back home after hanging out. The 3rd time this sad feeling was really strong. After he walked to my car I called him come back. I then told him “this isn’t working anymore” we realized we both thought that things felt different now and that that we felt like we didn’t have the deepest connection. (before the trip I was ready to say I love you, after the trip I was too hurt to even think about saying it, I would agree that our connection had maybe deteriorated) I told him that the last couple times we had sex, I thought that he didn’t seem very into it, and he said that he is, he just feels like all we do is have sex. (what? He is a guy, right? ) I did not agree with this. He said too it kind of tripped him out I just started taking the pill, he said he hasn’t been in a serious relationship like that in a long time. I though the pill was doing us a favor? Anyway that’s besides the point. Anyway, he said we “lost our fun” and maybe we could just see each other less and only in groups to get our “fun” back. I said no, I either wanted to fix our relationship or break up. He also said he thinks its better to cut off something that isn’t working early, vs dragging it out. He said he thinks relationships should be effortless. That is immature right? I mean you have to try at least a little in relationships! But now I am not sure if he meant relationships should be effortless, or if falling in love should be effortless. Because I agree, you shouldn't have to try to fall in love. He also said that him and his band want to move eventually, and it would be easier to break up now. He also said more than once he didn’t want to be the bad guy. It took him a looong time to there, but he chose to break up. Its funny, I started the conversation wanting to maybe break up, but I changed my mind, but HE ended up doing it! As for the breakup, he said “well see how it goes.” It is so hard when someone breaks up with you while they're holding you hand. He texted me the next day to ask how I was holding up. I said “not so great :/” and I asked him the same, he said “im okay too :/”
I saw him a week later at a concert. I knew he would be there. But I already had tickets, I wasn’t going to bail on the concert just because he was there. I wanted to say hi, because I thought we were on friendly terms, plus I had on a hot outfit! I said hi to him, he just looked at me like he didn’t know me. This startled me to no end. I ended up practically stalking him the rest of the night. I think I went up to him 5 times. I asked him if we could be friends with benefits. I know. So embarrassing right? Alcohol did have a part in this. I was so embarrassed after. The next day I called to apologize. He was really nice about it. He said he still liked me and that he enjoyed every minute with me, he just doesn’t think he have potential for a deeper conncection. But he said even if we did manage to get a deeper connection, it would be hard because he said he is probably moving eventually. We then talked about the rest of our weekend like old times. At the end of the conversation I was like talk to you later? Or actually, maybe, I don’t know…? And he said if you want to keep in touch, I'm cool with that. And I said, OK, its probably better to keep in touch than not keep in touch. And he was like OK cool talk to you later, good night. And I said good night.
It has been a few weeks since of no contact.
Does he still have feelings for me? Is there a chance? The more I think about, I think he took it hard that I called him a sh*tty boyfriend. I really think he doesn't believe he did anything wrong by not texting me. However, I still believe that if he cared about me more/liked me more, he would have texted. Also, even though I think they may actually be moving, I feel like that is a bullsh*t reason to break up because his identical twin just made things official with his new girl.
We are 24 years old. Just thought I would mention.