rainbow00
Jun 23, 2012, 01:27 AM
I am a lesbian I’ve known it for years I’ve always loved women I’ve had my relationships with men but my heart was never in it I found the girl of my dreams and we recently got married. I have a 5 year old son and have raised him since before birth :) His father is Hispanic and from New Mexico he is very abusive. The start of our relationship was wonderful, I moved to New Mexico to be with my daddy, our relationship was the whole "young love I want to be with you for the rest of my life" well when the honey moon stage ended things went sour he started shoving me around and beating on me, I got into a ATV accident in New Mexico resulting in me being life flighted to Albuquerque, followed by 9 surgeries, the whole time he was there for me, which later he used against me for everything, the shoving and slapping resulted in punching, ripping, kicking and un consciousness, I ended up pregnant which was the best thing to ever happen to me I thought it would change our relationship for the better, things stayed the same only he got worse the days past and the more he hurt me. When my son turned 5 months old I found out my father ( who moved back to Oregon) had colon cancer and my sons father refused to let me come be with my dad, he finally gave in and let my son, him and myself come to Oregon by bus to visit, a week visit turned into 4 days where we returned back to New Mexico, months later he let me return to Oregon just my son and myself, my plans were to let him believe it was a visit but I was going to stay in Oregon this is my home, my sons father made me talk to him day and night leaving my phone on and setting on my pillow at night so he could listen, he made up a big story that he got into a car accident and punctured his lung and there was no one there to take care of him and he couldn’t even walk, me feeling bad left my dad and Oregon and returned to him by plane with my son only to get back to it all being a lie and him welcoming me home to a really bad beating and my at the time 8 months old son freaked out worse then I had ever seen, it continued some more, I ended up going to a women’s shelter, I had a train ticket and he showed up and wanted to go all the way to Oregon for the ride to talk then he was going to turn around and come back, we made it to California where he threatened me so bad we turned around and came back, finally months later I couldn’t take the physical, mental, and emotional abuse anymore so I once again snuck away and got on the bus and was leaving New Mexico and never turning back, I made in to Oregon safely with my father whom was putting up a good fight with cancer for a little over a year at this point, I cared for my father for his remaining 3 months, the whole time on the phone with my sons father, I was so far away but still scared, My father died October 27th 2008, two days after his funeral my sons father showed up, driving 36 hours straight from New Mexico here to Oregon, it was late in the evening, I had been staying with my mother but that night was at my friends house I got a call from my mom saying my sons father was there I was scared out of my mind and didn’t know what to do I had a bunch of my friends whom wanted to meet him drive me back to my moms and as soon as they got out of the truck it all happened so fast, my sons father was running and my friends were running and it was a big fight with knives, crow bars and skateboards, my sons father ended up in the Polk county jail, he was charges with a 4 felonies and sentenced to 5 years in prison. It took me some time to move on I wrote him for a year then I just couldn’t do it anymore I tried to think of pros and cons but the cons always out weighed the pros, after talking with my wife numerous times we have decided that it would be in the best interest of my son and our family of almost 2 years that she adopts him, I have her last name and we want our son to share it as well, after all that you have just read we need to know how would we go at doing this? I figure like everything else for a lesbian is hard and all the judgmental people and different rules we have, its going to be hard for a lesbian step mother to adopt, like I said before it is the best interest of my child and the best interest of our family, if anyone took there time to read this can you take your time to help us please?