We have been together for 4 years, engaged for 3 years and living together for 3 years. For the past 6 months we have become less and less intimate. He has made several comments like, I should do pilates, kepp up with my nails and toes, I'm getting grumpy with my old age (hes 8 years older then me) I'm in great shape, and my nails and toes are well manicured and polished by the way. Has commented during a conversation "this is getting old" not sure what he meant, our conversations?
I helped him type a letter on his work lap top and noticed he sent a co worker an email with an image of mini mouse, and him as mighty mouse and thanked her for being an awesome team member. I said nothing but thought it odd. She doesn't work in his office but at another location in the same city. I have met most of the people he works with at parties, funerals, outings etc. So, from time to time I ask how co workers are etc... I asked about his team member Dawn aka Mini mouse and he was a little harsh and asked why I'm asking about her, I replied that I ask about everyone he works with and he never asked why.
He had a meeting at the other office not to long ago and went bought new shirt tie shoes underwear and socks. :) he hates shopping!
He insists on looking good and dressing well on tuesdays. He doesn't text or e-mail all day on tuesdays but will about 5 telling me he will be a little late.
He usually gets his haircut on Saturdays for years at the same place, he's picky about who cuts his hair. He came home with his hair cut during the week, he said he got it during lunch by his work..? His ex girlfriend cuts hair ad used to cut his before he met me.hmmm?
He spends a lot of time on his blackberry and one of his calls from dawn lasted 1/2 hour, is that normal she is admin.. at work.?
One day he fixed a door at the house and I teased him saying does she call you Bob Villa (home improvement guy, tv) he said no she calls me Papi?? His exgirlfriend is hispanic. Then he said just kidding!
He has been tossing and turning at night and when I ask him if he slept OK he says no been think about work.
When we do make love its short and no I love you or foreplay he doesn't look at me :(
He never used to look at other women he was always respectful that if he did he didn't let me see that or feel it, but he has been latley, right in front of me.His parents came to town and he went to visit them and didn't invite me, said he was going to see them and left.
He used to ever mind my things in his car now he takes them out and puts them in the garage..?

Am I losing my mind? Red flags? Help!

I think you're losing your mind, you see one silly email, what it sounds like to me at least, and now everything that seems odd you question. Unless you have any formal proof, I don't really think you should be assuming anything.

As far as some of these issues go, talk to him about them. Communication is key, especially with us males. Does he know that half of these things are bothering you, because if you never told him he probably never even knows.

I think you're losing your mind, you see one silly email, what it sounds like to me at least, and now everything that seems odd you question. Unless you have any formal proof, I don't really think you should be assuming anything.

As far as some of these issues go, talk to him about them. Communication is key, especially with us males. Does he know that half of these things are bothering you, because if you never told him he probably never even knows.

His phone shows he has had 1/2 hour to 1 hour phone calls from her, she is in an admin position, schedules his stuff.? I did talk to him he tells me he loves only me and that I'm out of line. I talk to him and he listens which I appreciate but he doesn't add much to the conversation. Gives a couple of hugs and kisses for a day or two then back to nothing. If I did have formal proof I wouldn't be on here asking for advice. I hope I'm wrong but women always say trust your gut!

His phone shows he has had 1/2 hour to 1 hour phone calls from her, she is in an admin position, schedules his stuff.?? I did talk to him he tells me he loves only me and that I'm out of line. I talk to him and he listens which I appreciate but he doesn't add much to the conversation. Gives a couple of hugs and kisses for a day or two then back to nothing. If I did have formal proof I wouldnt be on here asking for advice. I hope I'm wrong but women always say trust your gut!

Then maybe leaving him is in order. Seems like he's lost your trust? No trust, no relationship sweetheart.

Ultimately it's up to you, and how you want to be treated.

Then maybe leaving him is in order. Seems like he's lost your trust? No trust, no relationship sweetheart.

Ultimately it's up to you, and how you want to be treated.

I have not had any issues through out the years up until these past 6 months and while I have no solid proof, which I'm not even sure what that is. I'm really scared that he might be having a crush or emotional affair? I don't know, I only talked about it once, just to let him know how I feel and gave him the opportunity to voice his issues with me, us, anything. But nothing, so I left it alone, to myself, these concerns won't leave me, if he is going to cheat or whatever, he's going to do it regardless of what I say or how I feel. I feel like I'm waiting for him to tell me. In the mean time I try to keep everything cool as can be. But sometimes we look at each other and lock eyes and it feels like a chess game. I know I will leave him if I ever find out but a part of me doesn't want to know. No one wants to be a fool, either way... although I might be. When I tell him I'm OK if he has a change of heart or different plan, I understand... I let him know I will be okay just talk to me so I know where he stands and he says he loves me and wants a future with me, and I love him and want the same... these past 6 months are odd but really you see it as perfectley normal?

Only you know what's normal, or what's different. But you have no real proof of cheating so be careful, and pay attention.