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I am 10 and I need a bra. My mom doesn't seem to notice but even my friend said I need a bra!

I would ask my mom and tell her about it but she tells everybody everything and I get so embarrassed!! Please help me!

i am 10 and i need a bra.my mom doesnt seem to notice but even my friend said i need a bra!
i would ask my mom and tell her about it but she tells everybody everything and i get so embarassed!!!please help me!!

This is part of growing up... TALK to your mom... she's likely waiting for you to ask her. She went though this herself at your age.

I see no choice. Tell her you need to talk to her privately and ask her to go with you to buy a bra.

I don't know why this issue is embarrassing to you - trust me, life gets more embarrassing as you get older.

When you get your period, that's yet another discussion.

This is part of growing up.....TALK to your mom...she's likely waiting for you to ask her. She went though this herself at your age.

Thanks

Every girl goes through this... most of them anyway... trust me, your mom understands how you feel.

I sent my mom an email saying my friend said I need a bra and when I was in bed she came and told me she has been wathching and I don't need a bra.but you can see my boobs through my shirts! and I don't know how to start a coversation about this kind of stuff with her.so...

You sent her an e-mail? Why didn't you just ask her. If your "boobs" are showing, point that out to her.

On the other hand - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/children/a-673550.html

There's a difference between wanting and needing, padded and unpadded, sports bras and regular wear bras.

You will need to sit down and talk to her about other issues shortly. I don't understand why you e-mailed her. I have stepchildren and we don't email when there's a problem or question or conversation to be had.

What shows is not so much your "boobs," but your nipples that probably are obvious through knit tops. Mention that to her. Or ask her to buy you a chemise-type thing to wear under your tops. OR, layer with a knit t-top underneath your shirt or blouse or another knit top.

My legs are hairy and I serectly shaved them.I don't think my mom knows and I wish I didn't shave but my legs got hairy... I don't know if I should ask my mom to shave or not?

my legs are hairy and i serectly shaved them.i dont think my mom knows and i wish i didnt shave but my legs got hairy.....i dont know if i should ask my mom to shave or not?
You don't have to ask to bath? Or brush your teeth... you don't have to for that either.

I have no idea why you can't talk to your mother - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/children/a-673550.html

No one here can give you permission to shave or tell you what to do.

You're 10 years old. You NEED to discuss some of these topics with your mother. Do you mention getting "permission" because she's already said no?

Ooooo I didn't know she was 10... I thought she was at least a teen to be asking.

Ooooo I didn't know she was 10.......I thought she was at least a teen to be asking.


Oh, no - this 10-year old is either developing quickly OR wants to be/appear older than she is.

I do understand the mother's position (although I'm not sure the mother has a position) in all of this.

No I am devolping

Did someone make fun of your hairy legs?

Did someone make fun of your hairy legs?


OR, much like the bra question, is "everyone" wearing one, shaving, whatever?

Do we know if this is in the US?

In some cultures women do not shave their legs, and hair on the leg is considered good.
In others for women it is not, but for children no one cares if they have hair on their legs or not.

If you shaved them, either they did not really need it, or your mom would have noticed.

Hi hiedio here and everyone on my crosscountry team wears a bra and everyone in my class does I am the only one who doesn't and I feel left out because of it!please help me !

Ask your mom to buy you one. You don't have to necessarily need it to have and wear one. If you tell her you're embarrassed not to have it, I can't imagine she'd say no. You'll need it soon enough anyway.

Ask your mom to buy you one. You don't have to necessarily need it to have and wear one. If you tell her you're embarassed not to have it, I can't imagine she'd say no. You'll need it soon enough anyway.

Thanks but she is the kind that tells everyone what I do and she probably say I don't NEED one like always

thanks but she is the kind that tells everyone what i do and she probaly say i dont NEED one like always
If she says no, what other recourse do you have?

Tell her, "Mom, please don't tell anyone that I got a bra. It's really embarassing and it's my personal business." And if she says you don't need one, tell her, "I may not physically need one but socially, I do. I'm singled out and it's very embarassing. This just isn't something I want to be noticed for or talked about for and I don't want to make an issue of it. I just want to get one and be done with it." If she can't understand that, appeal to your father or grandmother or aunt and ask them to take up your cause and support your request.

thanks but she is the kind that tells everyone what i do and she probaly say i dont NEED one like always

This makes no sense! Since you seem to know that all the people in your class and on your team wear one (I can understand how you know your teammates all have one, but not sure how you know everyone in your class does), then you would want them to know you got one.

But unless you have money to buy one for yourself, then your only choice is to talk to mom about it.

Hello!my prob is my right breast is bigger than the left breast.(I don't know if this matters but I am right handed.)is my left breast going to catch up or...
Thanks,
hiedio

How old are you?

There is usually a very small differnce between one and the other... sometimes when young enough a bigger difference balances itself out over time... once in a while it doesn't.

If you are 13 or 14 it still might... if you are over 18 then its time to see a doctor as then it might not.

Most women are not completely symmetrical. If it's a sudden change in one breast or another it could be a matter for a doctor to look into. It it's a minor difference, it's probably within the real of "average".

I am 11 my birthday is July 30th so still a while from 12:(

Give it time then... at 11 they are really just getting started... you have another 5 years or so before you would have to start worrying... and then only if the difference would be larger... like a cup size or more. If you have to look hard to notice it... then you have nothing to worry about.

I agree. You are really just barely starting developing. Don't worry about it and also be aware that a lot of girls look at themselves way more critically than they should, and find far more faults than other people would even notice with a microscope.

Is 11 and not wearing even a training bra normal. I feel very akward being the only girl in 6th grade not wearing a bra.

Everyone matures at a different rate.
This is NOT something that mere peer pressure can change,

Enjoy childhood as you cannot go back..

I certainly wouldn't be worried about this at age 11. You still have time.

It's definitely normal. Enjoy not wearing a bra. You'll have to wear one the rest of your life :(

And how do you know you are the only one? Have you seen EVERY girl in your grade with their shirt off?

Have you discussed with your mother whether you need one?

Yes, it is perfectly normal.

To tell you the truth, I didn't start developing breasts until I was 16.

What are your classmates using bras to train for? Most of them probably don't need one at age 11. I was over 12 before I was allowed to wear one. Like the others here said, enjoy your childhood. Bras are a royal pain!

Maybe a sport bra for your athletic is what you need to ask mom for.

A training bra is mostly an undershirt shaped like a bra. It's for girls that are self conscious of their little breasts showing through their shirts. It's okay to ask for one of those. An 11 year old asking for a bra with padding, is just a girl that wants to fit in, not a girl that needs a bra. If you needed a bra, you wouldn't need the padding. Just saying.

I think you want a bra. That's fine, I'm sure most of the girls your age want one, even though they don't need one. So ask mom for some training bras, an undershirt shaped like a bra. If you really need one, you won't have to ask, mom will ask you.

Again, this is really bothering you. I think 6th grade is about when girls start wearing bras - some need them, some don't. Just ask your mom and be done with it. If she's going to talk about it now, she'll also talk about it next year so just get it over with - ask her not to talk about it and if she does, it will be over soon enough. If she tells someone in front of you, think of what you will say such as "nice job keeping this between you and me, Mom," or, "this isn't exactly news - pretty much every girl gets a bra in sixth grade at my school". If you can have a laugh about it or empower yourself by correcting your mom when she does something to embarrass you, you might find it less embarrassing.

Is 11 and not wearing even a training bra normal. I feel very akward being the only girl in 6th grade not wearing a bra.

I do have to say, I find this odd. What do they have in the water where you live?

My daughter is 10, and she's in the 5/6 grade split at school, she's in 5th grade. None of the girls in the grade 6 split of her class wear a bra, not one. So how can you be the only girl in 6th grade not wearing a bra, when my daughter is in a class with many 6th grade girls, not one of them that wear, or need to wear a bra?

Is this an issue of location, or just an issue of parents letting their children grow up too soon when it's not necessary?

Either way, I still stand by the points I posted before. You may need a training bra, but you mentioned a padded bra. If you need a padded bra, then you don't need a bra at all. Padding is what gives you breasts. If you have breasts, which require needing a bra, then you don't need padding.

I'm pushing 50 and when I was a kid, all the girls got bras in 6th grade. Some needed them, some didn't. I don't think it's that unusual. The thing is in any case, a bra provides more modesty, not less, so I think it's fine for a girl to get one at this age, particularly if not having one is a point of embarrassment and self-conciousness.

I'm pushing 50 and when I was a kid, all the girls got bras in 6th grade. Some needed them, some didn't. I don't think it's that unusual. The thing is in any case, a bra provides more modesty, not less, so I think it's fine for a girl to get one at this age, particularly if not having one is a point of embarassment and self-conciousness.

I agree, but the OP posted that she needs a bra, and then stated that she tried on her sisters padded bra, and it fit, and that she wants a padded bra as well.

Getting a padded bra when you're 20 and have nothing up top, is fine. Getting a padded bra at the age of 10/11 is no longer about being embarrassed or self conscious, it's about wanting to outdo or be like the rest of the herd. That, in my book, is not okay and not something a parent should encourage.

A training bra (which is literally a bra shaped undershirt) is fine for a girl her age for modesty. But if she needed a bra, her mom would likely already have brought it up, so I doubt this is a matter of need, it's about want, which begs the question "why do you want it so badly? To fit in? If so, why?"

I didn't need a bra until I was 14. I'm now an F cup. Wearing a bra is no longer an option. But at 10,11, 12, even 13, I definitely didn't need a bra. I wore a training bra, because everyone else did, but I didn't need a bra.

The OP said, and I quote "I need it".

I agree, but the OP posted that she needs a bra, and then stated that she tried on her sisters padded bra, and it fit, and that she wants a padded bra as well.

Getting a padded bra when you're 20 and have nothing up top, is fine. Getting a padded bra at the age of 10/11 is no longer about being embarrassed or self conscious, it's about wanting to outdo or be like the rest of the herd. That, in my book, is not okay and not something a parent should encourage.

A training bra (which is literally a bra shaped undershirt) is fine for a girl her age for modesty. But if she needed a bra, her mom would likely already have brought it up, so I doubt this is a matter of need, it's about want, which begs the question "why do you want it so badly? To fit in? If so, why?"

I didn't need a bra until I was 14. I'm now an F cup. Wearing a bra is no longer an option. But at 10,11, 12, even 13, I definitely didn't need a bra. I wore a training bra, because everyone else did, but I didn't need a bra.

The OP said, and I quote "I need it".

I'm in my 30's and I am an A cup.

I think I am going to take OP's line and repost as " I need it!" ;)

I'll also point out that the OP first posted this in June, then reposted recently (the threads were merged) with the same request. She also has another thread about her breasts being uneven.

I notice that she doesn't often respond once she opens a thread.

I think its true that girls seem to be developing earlier these days. Clearly a girl needs a bra when she starts to develop and that development can start at different times for different girls.

But the bottom line here is this is something between the girl and her parents, usually the mom.

At 11 is it NORMAL not to wear even a training bra?

Everyone matures at different rates, so there is NO "normal".

If you are worried that you are behind everyone else... stop. Soon enough you will develop the need for a bra and then you will wish you didn't need it.

It's normal to not wear a bra at 11, to wear a training bra, and if developing jiggly breasts or prominent nipples, a regular bra. If I had to guess, I'd say that about half of 11 year olds don't wear bras yet. Do you need help with what to say to convince your mother than your friends get to have some sort of bra?

After looking at your past posts, I see that you have basically asked this question in one form another already. How many times are you going to ask?

Your threads should be merged.

Judging by the number of times this has been asked I believe the "bra/no bra" issue has become an obsession. Apparently the OP's mother is tired of the argument/discussion.

If the theory is that a sports bra will somehow protect anyone from injury, I'm not seeing it. Just because "everyone" wears a bra doesn't mean OP needs one - and if her parents think it's too early for a bra, I would side with them.

I didn't catch the "padded" bra thing, Judy so thanks for the correction. I would even be OK with a padded bra maybe for a junior or senior in high school for a girl who's especially small and embarrassed about it, but if the objective was to be sexy, rather than just not to feel self-concious, it would be another decision.

When I think of a bra for an 11 year old, I'm thinking something like a sports bra or training bra. Unless she needs more than that, I would be concerned that the objective was not to fit in with other girls or avoid being embarrassed in gym class, and would be more about being "sexy" and passing for being older than she is, which I would not be OK with. So, to the original poster - you have a lot of opinions on this subject. If Mom says, "no", drop it before you drive her nuts. Wear an undershirt if you need more coverage and let it go. And in any event, stop obsessing about your breasts - you'll grow up fast enough. Think about something else - school, your friends, your sports and activities, your family, your homework - your breasts will develop on their own just the same whether you obsess about it or forget about it.

I didn't catch the "padded" bra thing, Judy so thanks for the correction. I would even be OK with a padded bra maybe for a junior or senior in high school for a girl who's especially small and embarrassed about it, but if the objective was to be sexy, rather than just not to feel self-concious, it would be another decision.

When I think of a bra for an 11 year old, I'm thinking something like a sports bra or training bra. Unless she needs more than that, I would be concerned that the objective was not to fit in with other girls or avoid being embarrassed in gym class, and would be more about being "sexy" and passing for being older than she is, which I would not be OK with. So, to the original poster - you have a lot of opinions on this subject. If Mom says, "no", drop it before you drive her nuts. Wear an undershirt if you need more coverage and let it go. And in any event, stop obsessing about your breasts - you'll grow up fast enough. Think about something else - school, your friends, your sports and activities, your family, your homework - your breasts will develop on their own just the same whether you obsess about it or forget about it.

I mentioned the padded bra many posts ago. :(


I agree, but the OP posted that she needs a bra, and then stated that she tried on her sisters padded bra, and it fit, and that she wants a padded bra as well.

Getting a padded bra when you're 20 and have nothing up top, is fine. Getting a padded bra at the age of 10/11 is no longer about being embarrassed or self conscious, it's about wanting to outdo or be like the rest of the herd. That, in my book, is not okay and not something a parent should encourage.

Thanks, Alty - sorry I missed it. May have had to do with the fact that this discussion was in two different threads originally. Not intentional in any event and I think the OP has received copious advise from all of us, pretty much all good!

Thanks, Alty - sorry I missed it. May have had to do with the fact that this discussion was in two different threads originally. Not intentional in any event and I think the OP has recieved copious advise from all of us, pretty much all good!

No worries. I just started thinking that maybe my posts were being cloaked. ;)

Well, the OP has her bra now. Hopefully mom didn't go for the padded bra.

Now I have to go make dinner with my 10 year old girl, who won't need a bra for many years, and thankfully doesn't want one. If she takes after me though, it won't be an option later in life. :(