Im 13 and lost my virginity to a very close friend and ever since then I have regretted it... he didn't pressure me but I was really nervous

You made a choice, and you now have to live with that choice. Seems to me like you didn't want to in the first place, actions speak louder than words sweetheart and regretting it says you really didn't want to.

What the heck are you doing having sex anyway? Are you ready to have a child? Do you parents know that you're having sex? Are they okay with it? You need to sit down with your parents and explain to them what's going on. What happens if you go and do it again and get pregnant, what will you do then? Your parents deserve to know.

I am ready to have a child and no my parents don't know... and I did want to

What do you mean you are ready to have a child. You're 13. How would you support a child? How old was the boy?

Older than me and I just know that I'm ready to take care of a child

I had sex and I think I'm pregnant,my stomach hurts I'm emotional I'm tender in my upper woman area... I haven't got my period this month... I am afraid to buy a pregnancy test because the people here know my family and might tell if I go buy.one plus I think I'm too young to buy them... btw I'm 13

And what do you plan to do during the next eight months while your baby grows inside you, if you are indeed pregnant? It won't go away, you know. It's time to sit down and have a talk with your parents.

How much older than you? Old enough that he can go to jail?
Does he have a full time job, because he will need one to support a family. You are obviously still in middle school or just starting high school so I know you don't have a job.
The fact that you think you are ready to have a child at 13 is proof that you're not. You don't have a clue. You are still a child yourself.

I have merged these two threads.
How long ago did you have sex?

He already told me that if I get pregnant then only the kid can know he is the dad and I'm okay with no one knowing because in my familys eyes its wrong he is my cousin

He already told me that if i get pregnant then only the kid can know he is the dad and im okay with noone knowin because in my familys eyes its wrong he is my cousin
It doesn't work this way. An adult (or two or three) will have to know what is going on. You will have to take special vitamins and have regular doctor visits. A lot can go wrong during the pregnancy and birth, so the father's medical history has to be known. Legally and morally, you have to tell who the father is.

How old is he? You don't think with the child calling him dad, no one else is going to figure that out? Girl you are way too young and immature for the mess you have gotten yourself into. I hope you are not pregnant.
What are you going to tell your parents? I guess they will be responsible for supporting this baby you say you are ready to have.

My kid won't call him dad and I already know his medical history he has diabetes and I have an adult that I can twll and she will help me till I am ready to.tell my mom cause her 16 15

My kid won't call him dad and I already know his medical history he has diabetes and I have an adult that I can tell and she will help me till I am ready to.tell my mom cause her 16 and 15 yr old girls are pregnant and he is 17

So who are you going to say is the father when your parents ask?

How old is this boy, and who is this adult who will be helping you keep this information from your parents?
Who is going to support this baby, if in fact you are pregnant? When are you going to go to the doctor?
You have no clue what you and this boy have gotten yourselves into.
When did you have sex and when was your last period?

This boy can go to jail for having sex with you. Do you realize that?

My last period was I think in April and I had sex in like the first of may and haven't had my period since and I'm not going to tell them anything about the dad... and the one that will help me is a really close family friend that won't tell and she can take me to the doctor and I can support it I have a bunch of baby stuff and a lot of money saved

Do you have health insurance to pay all the doctor visits and hospital bills? Do you have at least $10,000 saved for the first year, to pay for baby furniture, baby clothes, well-baby doctor visits, etc.

How much money do you think is a lot? Who is going to pay the doctor fees and hospital bill?
So this 17 year old boy does not need to contribute at all to the care of this child?
If this woman is a close friend of the family, I don't see how in good conscience she can keep this from your parents. Are you going to live with her?
What this boy did to you is considered statutory rape and he can go to jail.

Older than me and i just know that im ready to take care of a child

Are you ready financially to care for a baby? Is there insurance in place to pay for delivery and hospital care. You may think you are able, but at 13 may not be physically ready.

I have $600 in a bank account and I have insuranc... and I have over $4000 worth of baby items furniture,clothes,bottles,bibs,etc

Health insurance on your own or under your parents' name?

i have $600 in a bank account and i have insuranc...and i have over $4000 worth of baby items furniture,clothes,bottles,bibs,etc

Girl, I really hate to yell at you but you need to wake up and smell the coffee. You haven't a clue what you are doing.

1) At 13 your body may not be developed enough to give birth. This means there could be serious complications in delivering this child for both you and the child. You could die giving birth. It is a very real risk

2) Depending on where you live your doctor may be required to inform your parents of your pregnancy. While you control what you do with the child, your parents are financially responsible for you.

3) It is estimated that it costs about $15,000 for the first year of a baby's life and over $250,000 until they reach 18. That $15,000 figure does not include the costs of giving birth, which can be up to $10,000. So your $600 with be gone in the first month or two on formula and diapers! And even if you have crib and some clothes and equipment, they may be too old for current standards. And you will need so much more.

4) Of course your cousin doesn't want you to tell anyone. He is afraid of going to jail. He RAPED you. It doesn't matter whether you consented or not, you are under legal age so its RAPE!

Bottom line is you need to tell your parents NOW! You need to get examined by a doctor NOW! If you are pregnant, you need to do it NOW for the sake of the baby's health. Please pay attention to the advice we are giving, we care about you and more, we care about this baby you are trying to bring into the world. GET HELP NOW!

Where are you storing all this baby stuff so your parents don't see it?

Where are you storing all this baby stuff so your parents don't see it?

I suspect its her baby stuff from when she was a baby or maybe a younger sibling. If its hers, much of it will be out of date and unusable.

I think it is stored in her mind, or this adult (who she claims is a friend of the family and will help her until she is ready to tell fer family) has things.
I wonder if the adult who is helping her knows the father is her 17 year old cousin.

Oh my god, this kid is in for the rudest awakening anyone could ever have. Her father will find out who the father is, because he will DEMAND to know. Once he finds out, your whole family tree is going to be shaking so hard the leaves of the one beside it are going to fall off, and whether you like it or not, your cousin will be going to jail.

A 13 year old saying she can raise a child? Give me a break. ScottGem, your wrote the words right out of my mouth, excellent post I wish I could thumb that one up about 20 times, but of course...

Oops! You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to ScottGem again.


All I have to say, is good luck young one, and for your sake I hope you're not pregnant and you learn a valuable lesson from this. I also hope that 17 year old goes to jail, so he can learn a valuable lesson as well.

Baby Cost Calculator | Tools | BabyCenter (http://www.babycenter.com/baby-cost-calculator)

Here's a good way to see how far that 600 will get you.

Her father will find out who the father is, because he will DEMAND to know.

I disagree with this. The father can't compel her to tell. But the law may, especially if she wants to keep the child. The courts will say, if she doesn't tell who the father is, they will take the child away. Or they will order DNA testing for every male she has been in contact with around the possible time of conception if she doesn't tell. If she thinks she can keep this a secret, she is fooling herself. But then that seems to be par for the course.

Baby Cost Calculator | Tools | BabyCenter (http://www.babycenter.com/baby-cost-calculator)

Here's a good way to see how far that 600 will get you.

Good link, I went through that and lowballed everything and still came up with over $5000. And that still doesn't take into account the cost of delivery, Doctors visits, etc.

This girl is living in la la land.

I disagree with this. The father can't compel her to tell. But the law may, especially if she wants to keep the child. The courts will say, if she doesn't tell who the father is, they will take the child away. Or they will order DNA testing for every male she has been in contact with around the possible time of conception if she doesn't tell. If she thinks she can keep this a secret, she is fooling herself. But then that seems to be par for the course.

He will demand, and I doubt a little 13 year old has the will power to deny it more than a few times. Just my view on it, I don't know her, maybe she does.

Im not living in lala land I know what to do how to do it and my dad is dead so he won't demand anything... im really going through a lot right now and I asked for help not for perfect strangers to yell at me for something that I did and regret... I won't have a whole lot to lose and my friends and family will help me a lot so I would basically just need to love the kid that's good enough for me

my dad is dead so he wont demand anything
Your father was still alive at 10:52 this morning, according to my computer's time stamp on your post.

He already told me that if i get pregnant then only the kid can know he is the dad and im okay with noone knowin because in my family's eyes its wrong he is my cousin
You have said in your family's eyes this will be wrong, so what family are going to get support from, or are you going to lie to them about who the father is. What young man are you going to blame this on?
You are not thinking this through. You are perpetrating a lie and this will not have a good outcome. Is this cousin of yours just going to stand around and watch others support this child and just move on? Or maybe since he has gotten away with this once, why not do it again.
You need to tell your parents about this so that you can get the proper help you are surely going to need, and this boy needs to be held accountable for what he has done.

I am ready to have a child and no my parents dont know.....and i did want to


Nice try kiddo.

I'm done answering, this little brat has gotten more than enough helpful advice and doesn't even seem to be getting any of it. Now she's trying to guilt trip me. I wish you the best sweetheart, I really do.

I have a stepdad dumb*** my real dad is dead he.died when I was 5

I have a stepdad dumb*** my real dad is dead he.died wen i was 5

I still don't see why that comment was even necessary. Either way, I'm out.

PS: In 9 months, come on back and tell us how well everything is going, and all the love and support your "friends" and "family" are giving you. I'm quite curious.

I have a step dad dumb*** my real dad is dead he.died wen i was 5
That was unnecessary. In your original post you said parents, you did not say mom and step dad. When he mentioned your dad he was assuming your dad as in "my parents" dad.
No need to be rude just because you don't like the advice.

You are all being hogwashed by a supposedly l3 year old my dear friends. I think this thread should be closed. I got the gist of this on the fourth page this definitely was not going anywhere.

She knows darn well she has got you all going in circles, and I would not believe a word of it.

You are all being hogwashed by a supposedly l3 year old my dear friends. I think this thread should be closed. I got the gist of this on the fourth page this definitely was not going anywhere.

She knows darn well she has got you all going in circles, and I would not believe a word of it.
She is home from school for the summer and bored, and some of us are retired and also bored. Dinner is in the slow cooker, the laundry is done, the daily crossword puzzle has been successfully completed, and the cats are sleeping. It was good practice in keyboarding.

I have a stepdad dumb*** my real dad is dead he.died wen i was 5

First this site will not tolerate vulgarity and insults so keep it civil or you comments will be removed. We can only go by what you post so if you post conficting statements we will question it.


..im really goin through alot right now and i asked for help not for perfect strangers to yell at me for something that i did and regret.........i wont have a whole lot to lose and my friends and family will help me alot so i would basically just need to love the kid thats good enough for me

What you don't understand is that we are yelling at you because we care for you. We are worried about you and this child you may have conceived. We worry because you don't have a grasp on reality.

But lets assume you are right for a moment. Let me answer your questions. First you asked about how to get over your regret at losing your virginity. The answer to that is that you don't. Every boy you get involved with will ring that regret back when you decide to get intimate with them. Or, in the unlikely event that you wait until you are married, you will regret it on your wedding night or when you have to tell your fiancée that you aren't a virgin. Of course this won't be a problem if you have a child. It will be obvious to any boyfriends then. So you just have to live with that regret. You have to not let it consume you and learn to live with it. It won't be easy, but its your only option.

Your second question was "what to do if I am pregnant?" So the first thing you do is get yourself tested to make sure. If you haven't gotten a period since April, you have probably missed your period. Possibly by a couple of weeks so it is a good time to test. You said you have an adult you can confide in who will help you. So have her buy you a test and take it according to the instructions. If you are pregnant, then you need to go see doctor immediately. At your age, your pregnancy needs to be monitored as soon as possible. So that's what you do. And that means that you need to tell your parents ASAP.


..i wont have a whole lot to lose and my friends and family will help me alot so i would basically just need to love the kid thats good enough for me

If you think that, then you are in lala land. Oh I'm sure they will help. They may even provide enough financial support to get you through while you finish school. But thinking you "just need to love the kid" is a pipe dream. You think you will be able to hang out with your friends while someone else cares for the child? You think you won't have to come home immediately after school to care for your baby? If your family does take over that much care then you won't have a say. In fact, they probably will force you to give up custody of your child and you won't be able to spend much time with the baby.

And lets talk about boys. Every boy is going to know that you had a baby. So you will never know if they are interested in for you or because they want to get into your pants. And when you become an adult, good luck finding a guy willing to take on a woman with a school age child. They are out there but they are rare.

But the reality is this is what your life will look like from now on. First you are likely to have a difficult pregnancy at your age. So if you are lucky enough to live through it (if you start getting care immediately) and you have a healthy child, then your days will look like this:

You go to school each day (your friends will be a grade ahead of you because you will have missed too much school due to pregnancy). You come home right after school because you will need to help with the care of your child. Most of your friends WILL desert you because you have to care for your baby. So forget about having much fun life. You will probably grow to resent this child for awhile.

After you graduate high school, college will be unlikely because you will have to get a real job to support your child. But without a college education you will be stuck in menial, low level jobs.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I doubt it, the odds are stacked up too much against you. So don't believe my at your peril. But then I don't really believe you. I think, like others, that you are a bored teenager who thinks its fun post such garbage. But for the sake of this possible child, I'm going to treat this like it may be true and that you really are what you say you are.

To add to what ScottGem said, if this is true (which I'm beginning to doubt) it irritates me to think there is a 17 year old creep who raped you and you are brainwashed enough to just let him off the hook.

She is home from school for the summer and bored, and some of us are retired and also bored. Dinner is in the slow cooker, the laundry is done, the daily crossword puzzle has been successfully completed, and the cats are sleeping. It was good practice in keyboarding.

I am not retired and not bored. That is why I am not retired :) And I don't use a slow cooker, that is really boring, and my animals are just waking up because mom is home, so that means EXCITEMENT and the barbecue goes on.

I am not retired and not bored. That is why I am not retired :)
I was being rhetorical. :)

I wish I was just a bord teen but I isn't I'm a real person and this is a real problem so idc what you say

I wish i was just a bord teen but i aint im a real person nd this is a real problem so idc wat yall say

This is not texting. We type in full words and sentences here. So please translate what you mean by "so idc wat yall say" means.

Then listen to the advice given. It is given because we care. I hope you read ScottGems last post. It's great one!

I wish i was just a bord teen but i aint im a real person nd this is a real problem so idc wat yall say


Honestly, I don't care - this is not a thread that inspired me to care.

I've seen this play out a thousand times on AMHD - "I had sex." "I had sex and I'm 13." "I had sex and I'm 13 and I'm pregnant." "I had sex and I'm 13 and I'm pregnant and my cousin is the father."

Are you shocked yet?

I see someone who is either terminally bored or terminally spoiled or terminally a jerk.

Take your pick.

I'm with Judy. I'm only posting because I'm bored, and feel like playing with a troll, which is exactly what this kid is.

If she's not a troll, then she's not only 13, thinks that $4600 will be enough to raise a kid (it won't even be enough to deliver the child), and doesn't want to listen, but, she's had a "hard life", don't they all, but she's also doesn't have the sense God gave a goat, and I mean no disrespect to goats.

This drama has played out hundreds of times in the 4 years I've been here. Frankly, I no longer care. If she's telling the truth, let her figure things out the hard way. It's not like she's willing to listen, she's already shown that.

There are people asking questions that actually want answers, and don't just want to have fun at our expense.

Not falling for it.

What if she's sincere?

If you think she's a troll, then maybe just ignore her. If she's telling the truth, a little help would be in order.

In any case, criticizing her for her actions (already done) is no help at all, and probably makes it all worse.

What if she's sincere?
We have been believing her since she posted this morning. Did you read the entire thread?

What if she's sincere?

If you think she's a troll, then maybe just ignore her. If she's telling the truth, a little help would be in order.

In any case, criticizing her for her actions (already done) is no help at all, and probably makes it all worse.

Athos, I urge you to read the entire thread. If she's sincere, and wants help, then fine. But since she's posted she's done nothing but add to her sob story, and ignore the advice of people that know what they're talking about.

Every time someone makes a point she can't counter, she adds another layer to her sob story, and then become belligerent.

If she's sincere, she's already gotten the best, and only advice we can offer. So there's nothing left to say.

I'm posting because others are getting upset by this, and I want them to know that there's no reason to. This story likely isn't true, so no one should lose any sleep, or go grey because of it. If it is true, she's already gotten the best advice. So, no matter what, it's a done deal, and frankly, I think this thread should be shut down.

What if she's sincere?

If you think she's a troll, then maybe just ignore her. If she's telling the truth, a little help would be in order.

In any case, criticizing her for her actions (already done) is no help at all, and probably makes it all worse.
If you read the entire thread you will see that we have helped and advised her.
She does not seem to want the advice she is given.

Ok - you and WG know much more about these things than I do, or ever will. But my point was simply to give her the benefit of the doubt. Give her your best advice, then leave it.

Beating her up, as some have done, doesn't seem to serve any purpose (except to make the beater-upper feel good).

Oh, and yes, I did read the entire thread.

Ok - you and WG know much more about these things than I do, or ever will. But my point was simply to give her the benefit of the doubt. Give her your best advice, then leave it.

Beating her up, as some have done, doesn't seem to serve any purpose (except to make the beater-upper feel good).

Athos. No one is beating her up. She got good advice. In fact, she got the best advice anyone could give.

If you read the entire thread, instead of taking that advice, she came back posting rude comments, being belligerent, and claiming that she, a 13 year old child, was ready to have a child, with her cousin no less.

All the advice she received, she threw back in our faces.

If her story is true, I feel bad for her, because she's in for a world of hurt. But, I'm only willing to help those that are willing to listen. She isn't. She's a rude little... well, she's not willing to listen. I'll leave it at that.

None of us get paid to do this. We do it because we want to help people. That means that we don't have to put up with people that won't listen, even though they're the ones that asked for advice, but, we also don't have to put up with rudeness, or stories that don't add up.

If you want to waste your time on this poster, and if you read the whole thread, you know it would be a waste of time, then feel free. But don't look down on others because they reached the end of their rope with a belligerent child that's not willing to listen to the advice she asked for.

I have to add. I find it a bit odd that you're coming here telling us to give this poster advice, and not judge, but you have no advice to offer her. You only posted here to judge our posts, which, if you had bothered to read the entire thread, were right on track.

She's a thirteen-year-old.

She's a thirteen-year-old.

Let's assume that she's telling the truth. I don't believe it for a minute, but, let's assume that everything she posted is fact.

She was given accurate heart felt advice. She won't listen. Instead of listening, she was rude, belligerent, and worse. The best advice she can receive has already been posted on this thread.

So, if she's telling the truth, what do you suggest? What did we miss? Because there's nothing left to be said. Those that posted gave her their best advice, and it was dead on accurate. She not only ignored that advice, but she stated time and time again that she doesn't care about the advice given, even though that advice could really help her. She doesn't care. She doesn't want to hear it.

She asked, her question was answered, she decided not to listen to that advice. Game over.

Instead of criticizing the people that posted here, why not offer some advice, since you seem to think everyone else messed it up, and didn't help this supposedly 13 year old child that may be pregnant with her cousins baby. If you believe her, then post your words of wisdom, instead of criticizing what others have written.

I haven't been belligerent I have been thinking all day about all of this advice and I find it helpful and I really wish that you people would stop saying that it isn't true because whether you all want to believe it or not I know its true and Athos thanks

As I already said, give her your best advice and then leave it. It's not up to you to force her to take it. Thirteen-year-olds are not adults. The best you can do is give it your best shot, and hope that somehow, someway, it will get through to her. It might take a day or a week or longer until she "gets" it - if she ever does.

She needs understanding and love.

If she is, in fact, a troll, so what? Give it your best, anyway.

I'm done.

If other people want to waste their time, so be it. This thread is on page 7, and the poster has learned nothing, and taken no ones advice. I've fallen for the sob story one too many times, and I won't fall for it again.

Had the poster been respectful, and actually willing to listen, I would have given my advice. I really don't have to though. Others already posted the advice I would have given, and they were ignored, or hit with posts like this;


I have a stepdad dumb***

Nope, not at all rude (sarcasm).

Athos since you believe this story, and are so ready to stick up for this poster, then give her advice. I think the rest of the posters are done, having dealt with this since this morning. So you're all she has left. Time to post advice and not just criticism to those that put in the time and effort all day and were ignored.

I'm out. Good luck. If this story is true, I wish you the best of luck. You're going to need it.

As I already said, give her your best advice and then leave it. It's not up to you to force her to take it. Thirteen-year-olds are not adults. The best you can do is give it your best shot, and hope that somehow, someway, it will get through to her. It might take a day or a week or longer until she "gets" it - if she ever does.

She needs understanding and love.

If she is, in fact, a troll, so what? Give it your best, anyway.

Nope. You give her your best advice, since you're the one that had an issue with the advice already posted. If you can do better, which you obviously think you can, then go ahead. She's all yours.

Nope. You give her your best advice, since you're the one that had an issue with the advice already posted. If you can do better, which you obviously think you can, then go ahead. She's all yours.

I have no issue with "advice already posted". Best I can tell, it was good advice.

Deadchild, you've been given some good advice. It's up to you now to follow through and do something about it.

Good luck and God bless you.

I havent been belligerant i have been thinking all day about all of this advice and i find it helpful and i really wish that you people would stop saying that it isnt true because whether you all want to believe it or not i know its true and Athos thanks

Let me explain something to you (and others). We have been burned several times by members who think its amusing to tell some sob story or try to shock us to see our reactions. This has caused us to be skeptical of such stories. I do not blame the people who have trouble believing your story. But if you want us to believe you then start taking action.

In my last note I told you to get your adult friend to get you a HPT. Did you do that? Do you understand that, at your age, letting the fetus develop without proper care increases the already significant risks to both you and the child? So, if you story is true, then DO SOMETHING besides just thinking about it.

There are three things you need to do immediately.

1) confirm you are pregnant
2) get care for the child if you are
3) tell your parents that you were raped.

Point 3 needs to be done whether you are pregnant or not.


To Athos, Alty has explained this to you very well. I'm not going to criticize those who have expressed disbelief, because I have trouble believing it. But if you want to help the OP then give her advice, don't criticize others who have let her know that we are not fooled by her. Again, my preference here is to try and get the OP to do the right thing, while at the same time, letting her know that I am erring on the side of caution in the unlikely event the story is true.