We have been together just over a year and when we met we had an instant connection. We quickly fell in love and would spend all of our time together. He was absolutely amazing, and he loved me so so so much, I couldn't believe how much. He was the best man I had ever met. He is a few years older than me but we are both young. He has a great job, his own car, his own house, which is good to.

But the past few months things have changed, we started arguing a lot, and he ended up wanting "space" and was telling me he wasn't sure how he felt about me etc. He ended up wanting to get back together and I did because those few weeks killed me, I was a wreck, I cried constantly and stopped eating, so I lost quite a bit of weight. I hate how I was destroyed and basically grieved my relationship because it was that bad I was sure we would never get back together, and now we are.

I feel he isn't putting in enough effort to make up for what he put me through especially when he says he realized he did love me, but I don't feel he is the same person I fell in love with either. I constantly feel second best to everyone else now but he always made me feel like number one before. He doesn't seem to have any consideration for my feelings when he used to be the sweetest most sensitive person I knew, and he has even a few times been really really nasty to me, it's taking away the feelings I have for him. Jealousy has totally been getting the best of him and it doesn't help that guys find me really attractive and I get a lot of attention. I always said I would never be with an overly jealous guy but he never used to be this bad. It's so confusing because I felt in those weeks how much I loved him and now only a few weeks later I'm questioning it ?

I can't understand how he has changed so much, I actually don't know who he is anymore. I'm scared I'm holding on to the feelings I used to have and not what I feel now, but I still love him so much. I don't know what to do at all. 

Hello, people do change over time for many reasons. Sounds like you really love him but you want things back to the way it was. You should sit down and explain to him how you feel he has changed. If he cares about you he should be able to see the change he has made himself. If your not happy with the new him, you may have to leave him. Your waiting around hoping he will turn back to the guy he use to be but that may never happen. So, even if it hurts, you have to love yourself enough to let go of the relationship. You will be OK in time. Time heals all wounds and past hurts.


Good Luck!

Thanks : )

Can you spend the rest of your life in this relationship? Can you spend the next year of your life in this relationship?

If he is "really nasty" to you my feeling is that he is only going to get worse.

It sounds like the relationship, as difficult as it is to accept, is going downhill. He's changing and so are your feelings for him.

Is it time to go? Only you can answer that. The end of a relationship is a death of a sort. Of course you will grieve, not eat, suffer. My question is how things will be when you walk out of the other side of that grief.

This doesn't sound like one incident in the past - this sounds very much like an ongoing problem. Suddenly you are second best, not a priority. That must hurt.

I think that the honeymoon thrills are fading fast, and you actually have to start talking to see if you can work together, or resolve the issues that learning more about a person is about, brings. Maybe he has a few issues on some of your personal flaws he is learning about too!

Talk about it!

Thanks for your help guys, appreciate it, definitely a lot to get thinking about

Please don't start a new thread with the same question, but allow for more responses on this one. You were given a number of things to think about, so how's that going? Are you going to end the relationship. Are you going to communicate better with him?

You are blinded by love my dear, it's easily shown by the fact that you said "I actually don't know who he is anymore" when in reality you do, he is showing you now who he really is.

An act is easy to play for a year, and eventually he will end up feeling comfortable around you, so comfortable that the act starts to wear off and he reveals what is behind the mask. In your case, you don't seem to love what is behind it, which in your case, I don't blame you.

Have a bit of dignity sweetheart, leave this guy if he isn't treating you right. You deserve and can find better, if you get the attention you say you do.

Thanks very much for your help

I have just broken up with my boyfriend. I still love him so much but the last month or 2 had been absolute hell so it had to end, which is sad because the rest of our relationship was a total fairytale, so happy and loving. The trust in our relatinship is gone, we have both done things and said things and it's beyond repair. I have a lot of hate, but I still love him so much and he was my first ever love, we thought and planned on being together forever. I know that sometimes no matter how much you love someone it just isn't meant to be, but I just wanted to know if you ever get over your first love ?

QUOTE by Happygirlx;
I have just broken up with my boyfriend. I still love him so much but the last month or 2 had been absolute hell so it had to end, which is sad because the rest of our relationship was a total fairytale, so happy and loving. The trust in our relatinship is gone, we have both done things and said things and it's beyond repair. I have a lot of hate, but I still love him so much and he was my first ever love, we thought and planned on being together forever. I know that sometimes no matter how much you love someone it just isn't meant to be, but I just wanted to know if you ever get over your first love ?

You don't get over your first love you just move on but you will aleays remember them and if it was that good you may even compare them to new relationships but this is very bad and can course a lot of heartach cut all contact over wise you are doomed lol

First loves ARE special purely because they're a totally new experience. But, course you'll get over him, and hopefully be left with some wonderful memories. :)