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Holly30
Jun 20, 2012, 08:17 PM
So my ex husband isn't wanting to get our two kids. We went to court in 2009 to have custody papers. At the time we had them made he was living a few hrs away, but now is living near me. He is telling me that the papers are no good, and not wanting to get the kids durning the summer like the papers say. Hes telling me to drop the child support and then he will get them or take him back to court, until then he won't see the kids. I need to know what to do about him getting the kids when the papers say?

Fr_Chuck
Jun 20, 2012, 08:26 PM
I am sorry you misunderstand the court order.

His visit times is what he is allowed, you can not force him to take the kids. He merely has the right to get them if he wants to. You can not force him to take the kids.

He can not ask for you to forget about child support, in most places it is based on how often you have the kids and how often he has the kids

You can go back to ask court to change visits dates and time

Holly30
Jun 20, 2012, 08:31 PM
He isn't getting the kids when it's his time. He feels like if he gets them durning the summer 6 weeks that he wouldn't have to pay any child support. Well the child support goes threw dss, I have no say in that. I don't care if he gets the kids, it's hurting them because they want to see him.

Holly30
Jun 20, 2012, 08:37 PM
Sorry I meant to say he thinks he shouldn't have to pay child support on the kids when he has them 6 weeks in the summertime, it's not 6 weeks in a row it's 3 weeks him 2 weeks me then the last 3 with him.

Fr_Chuck
Jun 20, 2012, 08:37 PM
No he has to pay child support during visitation, that is considered, even if paying to you, he would still have to pay.

He is using the kids as a weapon and is proving he cares more for the money than for the kids.
Tell him that, tell I said it, I don't care, he is a dead beat dad, who worried more about money than having his kids.

If he wants to change child suport he can go back to court, ** won't work and he knows it

Holly30
Jun 20, 2012, 08:47 PM
I know it's all about money to him. He tells me to give the kids to him full time, he can't even get then when it's his time. When he does get the kids it's only when he wants too, one min he tells me he will get them every othe wknd then when he gets mad at me he tells me that he wants to sign over his rights. My kids love there father and I know he loves them but I'm to the point that I can't take this no more, I'm sick of seeing my kids cry because of all this. I don't have the money to take him back to court, and I want my kids to have there father in there life but I just don't know what to do...

Wondergirl
Jun 20, 2012, 08:54 PM
It almost sounds like he needs to learn how to be a dad. Would it be possible for you and him to plan a weekly event -- shopping, a picnic, horseback riding, visiting the zoo, etc. -- even for just two hours or so at first, as a way for him to be with the children and watch you interact with them? Of course, this means you have to spend time with him too and also keep your cool, but it would be good for the kids and good for their dad to happily do things together in some way, and this might be the only way. Maybe he will decide being with the kids isn't such a bad idea after all. You don't want to have the kids being like balls bounced back and forth between you.

How old are they?

Holly30
Jun 20, 2012, 09:02 PM
The kids r 10 and 8, and there is no way that we can do anything together with the kids, I can't even talk to him on the phone without him calling me names or talk down to me. All he wants to talk about is child support or tax money. Now my kids has told him they want to live with him and when I ask them they say I don't know. I'm lost and don't know what to do. He tells me to give the kids to him, but he really hasn't been there for them, never took them to doc, school meeting or anything, but he has been to there ball games. He tells me he want see the kids again until we get more papers but the papers we have now still are good but he tells me they are not and he want get them until I get new ones.