hnybny420
Jun 20, 2012, 07:21 PM
How do I get my boyfriend to take me out and do more things with me?
We have been together just under two years and in that two years he has; taken me to the movies three times, out to breakfast four times, out to lunch six times (at a bar and four of those times was with his boss/co-workers and or friend), and out to dinner three times (one of witch was on my birthday). He’s also taken me to the shooting range once and taken me to the casino (it was for my birthday and we were supposed to stay the night. Last min he told me his friend and his friends girlfriend was going. His girlfriend didn’t bring any money and his friend only brought $20! So they ran out of money, started to complain so we ended up leaving within a cpl hours : /) He never took me anywhere for our one year anniversary which caused a huge fight! He however has gone with me to about one third of the time to my family functions. About half the time that he didn’t come, he had ligament reasons, the other half he just didn’t want to go. I have told him many many times that I want him to take me out more. He always has excuses, says he doesn’t want to go because he worked all day, is tired, or says that he just doesn’t like people. I’ve tried asking him on days he’s had off and but still no luck.
I’m 21 years old. I work about 25 hours a week. I don’t have any hobbies or interests, and I don’t have any friends. I don’t want to do things by myself, so whenever I’m not at work, ALL I do is sit at home and do nothing! I never do anything fun, ever! It gets really depressing sometimes. I’ve tried talking to him about this but he just says sorry he’s a loser and then suggests for us to go out to breakfast or something, but usually it never ends up happening.
One thing I don’t get, is that he will out with his friend and boss/co-workers. One day a week (almost every week), he goes to the bar with his boss. He’s gone to rc tracks, swap meets, parks, casino, shooting range, played poker(which I LOVE) and he either will only go on days that I work, or just say I’m not invited, and if I complain, he gets pissed. I’ve tried telling him that if he did things with just me, I wouldn’t want to tag along with his friends, but he just doesn’t seem to understand. It happened a lot more a few months ago, but now, ever since he found this new rpg, all he does is go to work and come home. He puts on his headphones and plays that game. He works 8 hours a day every morning, he gets a weekend off about once a month.
My boyfriend is 29 and besides the friends that he talks to over his game, he only has 1 friend (they’ve been best friends since middle school) and he is ALWAYS over, normally from about 1pm till midnight one o’ clock, everyday! I’ve tried talking to my boyfriend about it, but he's like “hes my best friend what do you want me to do about it” I really don’t mind his friend, but since he almost never takes me out, we never spend anytime alone together. My boyfriend also won't leave the house unless he absolutely has to. Like I could say I'm not getting anything for us to eat and he would rather stare then leave the house. Oh and I don’t know if this means anything but his friend is such a copycat. They have the same hair, same type of clothes, and anything that ted does; fly rc planes, race rc cars, get guns, medal detect play the rpg, to put it short basically the other thing that’s different is their hair color and type of work. Sometimes I feel like they’re the ones in a relationship.
I love him and I feel like he loves me. He tells me he loves me. I think he’s perfect for me expect for the fact that he never does anything with me. We have open communication. He isn’t mean to me and he doesn't call me names. Sex is great. He tickles me and makes me laugh all the time. We both trust each other completely and I think he would be a great dad one day, which is important to me. As for my boyfriend, the only problem he has with me is that I don't like to clean, and he's a neat freak!
Id like him to take me to go to something fun once a month and then either breakfast, lunch or dinner (not at a bar) once a month. I have tried to tell him that I sit around 365 days a year for him and he should be able to go out with me twice a month, but it never happens. The main excuse is that he does not like people (which I don’t understand because he can go to the casino, swap meets, etc which is crowded and all have a TON of people). He says “that’s just the way I am” I’ve tried suggesting things with less crowd like going to put-put golf, laser tag, or just to the park for a picnic, but still, never wants to do anything. Sometimes I find myself questioning his love for me, because he sees how unhappy I am from not doing anything, but then never does anything about it. Should I be questioning his love? Is it wrong for me to want him to do things with me? Do you think its too much? How much do normal couples go out? Any other suggestions or ideas? Thank you for any and all responses!
P.S. Sorry this is so long, I just didn’t want to leave anything out.
We have been together just under two years and in that two years he has; taken me to the movies three times, out to breakfast four times, out to lunch six times (at a bar and four of those times was with his boss/co-workers and or friend), and out to dinner three times (one of witch was on my birthday). He’s also taken me to the shooting range once and taken me to the casino (it was for my birthday and we were supposed to stay the night. Last min he told me his friend and his friends girlfriend was going. His girlfriend didn’t bring any money and his friend only brought $20! So they ran out of money, started to complain so we ended up leaving within a cpl hours : /) He never took me anywhere for our one year anniversary which caused a huge fight! He however has gone with me to about one third of the time to my family functions. About half the time that he didn’t come, he had ligament reasons, the other half he just didn’t want to go. I have told him many many times that I want him to take me out more. He always has excuses, says he doesn’t want to go because he worked all day, is tired, or says that he just doesn’t like people. I’ve tried asking him on days he’s had off and but still no luck.
I’m 21 years old. I work about 25 hours a week. I don’t have any hobbies or interests, and I don’t have any friends. I don’t want to do things by myself, so whenever I’m not at work, ALL I do is sit at home and do nothing! I never do anything fun, ever! It gets really depressing sometimes. I’ve tried talking to him about this but he just says sorry he’s a loser and then suggests for us to go out to breakfast or something, but usually it never ends up happening.
One thing I don’t get, is that he will out with his friend and boss/co-workers. One day a week (almost every week), he goes to the bar with his boss. He’s gone to rc tracks, swap meets, parks, casino, shooting range, played poker(which I LOVE) and he either will only go on days that I work, or just say I’m not invited, and if I complain, he gets pissed. I’ve tried telling him that if he did things with just me, I wouldn’t want to tag along with his friends, but he just doesn’t seem to understand. It happened a lot more a few months ago, but now, ever since he found this new rpg, all he does is go to work and come home. He puts on his headphones and plays that game. He works 8 hours a day every morning, he gets a weekend off about once a month.
My boyfriend is 29 and besides the friends that he talks to over his game, he only has 1 friend (they’ve been best friends since middle school) and he is ALWAYS over, normally from about 1pm till midnight one o’ clock, everyday! I’ve tried talking to my boyfriend about it, but he's like “hes my best friend what do you want me to do about it” I really don’t mind his friend, but since he almost never takes me out, we never spend anytime alone together. My boyfriend also won't leave the house unless he absolutely has to. Like I could say I'm not getting anything for us to eat and he would rather stare then leave the house. Oh and I don’t know if this means anything but his friend is such a copycat. They have the same hair, same type of clothes, and anything that ted does; fly rc planes, race rc cars, get guns, medal detect play the rpg, to put it short basically the other thing that’s different is their hair color and type of work. Sometimes I feel like they’re the ones in a relationship.
I love him and I feel like he loves me. He tells me he loves me. I think he’s perfect for me expect for the fact that he never does anything with me. We have open communication. He isn’t mean to me and he doesn't call me names. Sex is great. He tickles me and makes me laugh all the time. We both trust each other completely and I think he would be a great dad one day, which is important to me. As for my boyfriend, the only problem he has with me is that I don't like to clean, and he's a neat freak!
Id like him to take me to go to something fun once a month and then either breakfast, lunch or dinner (not at a bar) once a month. I have tried to tell him that I sit around 365 days a year for him and he should be able to go out with me twice a month, but it never happens. The main excuse is that he does not like people (which I don’t understand because he can go to the casino, swap meets, etc which is crowded and all have a TON of people). He says “that’s just the way I am” I’ve tried suggesting things with less crowd like going to put-put golf, laser tag, or just to the park for a picnic, but still, never wants to do anything. Sometimes I find myself questioning his love for me, because he sees how unhappy I am from not doing anything, but then never does anything about it. Should I be questioning his love? Is it wrong for me to want him to do things with me? Do you think its too much? How much do normal couples go out? Any other suggestions or ideas? Thank you for any and all responses!
P.S. Sorry this is so long, I just didn’t want to leave anything out.