Hello,

I have never orgasmed during sex. I can make myself orgasm using a vibrator. I find it difficult to show a man or even engage a man in what works for me because it is only the strong vibrations from my vibrator (Rampant Rabbit) that make me orgasm. No man can make vibrations as powerful as my vibrator on my clitoris. Yes it can feel nice, sometimes uncomfortable and I know I need to say if its not working for me. I have faked it in the past and regret it now. I have decided I would not lie again, I hate it and that I want to be honest from now on. I am willing to keep trying different things and see if I can orgasm with this new partner.

I am worried that if I tell a partner this, that it might dent his confidence in himself as a man. How do I tell him this without taking away his hopes for a happy, fulfilling sex life with me? I do not want him to feel like he's not a man because of this.

Please help!

Victoria-Elliose

I think you tell him the same way you told "us." You show him, using your vibrator, if you're comfortable with that.

I know how you feel, I have always had the same problem. I have had to try different things and I finally found a position being on top and me doing everything in order to get one. I would be honest but also work really hard at it. I asked my doctor about it and he said it has a lot to do with blood flow, there are medicines and creams out there for that but I still haven't made that step because what I found work is working for both of us. I wish you the best, I know how frustrating it is.

You are having only external orgasms with clitoral stimulation; and you have made them very predictable so conclusion is do without your vibrator for a while and enter the wonderful world of internal orgasms.

Stimulating yourself externally is like an addiction and unless you break out of that mindset you are going to be there forever, Victoria.

Explain this to your partner, I am quite sure he will be extremely happy "teaching" you a better way!

Expla