Hello all,

My partner and I have been dating for a year and a half. Since the beginning of our relationship, we tend to either 50/50 or 50 for my partner and I pay the rest of the night or weekend but this was my choice to pay more. We make about the same acoount and take turns taking each other on vacations but If I am taking us out, I also pay for the drinks, dinner and the cab ride but if if my partner buys dinner, I have to get the cab or if my partner gets drinks.. I have to get dinner.

It’s been like that since the beginning. I have been dropping the most for us and in the beginning I paid for the majority of things: whether getting our toes/nails done, getting random lunches or late night food, getting gifts mailed to my partner's house, expensive dates or classes but also the cab rides; buying the little things asked for but I don’t mind.I love to cater to my partner.

But I did stop with the gifts, flowers and nails because I felt like I was the only one giving outside our standard 50/50 spending. I started enforcing more the 50/50 so I won’t end up feeling like I have to pay for majority.

Is it wrong to want a little more reciprosity? Is it wrong to want my partner to actually take care of us when it comes to a date occasionally. To say ‘baby, I got you’ and actually take care of me the whole night or event. To say, ‘hey, I know you like coffee, got you a $5 gift card’ or ‘let me get your nails done’ just because and not for a holiday?

Oftentimes what you start doing kind of becomes the norm, but if it not working for you, this is where communication comes in. Talk to your partner. She can't read your mind.
If you want things to change, speak up!

Thank you for taking the time to read & respond... I do need to speak up but wanted to see if I was being fair while feeling this way.

Is it wrong to want a little more reciprosity?
Absolutely not.

Be vocal. Tell her your problem and that you want it rectified. You'll come to a compromise.

Absolutely not.

Be vocal. Tell her your problem and that you want it rectified. You'll come to a compromise.

Thank you as well! I am going to do that.. :}