17 year old wants to move in with her dad ,who is not the custodial parent. Can she do this with a judge's court order?

Where? It matters.

In general, no, ALL parties have to obey the Court's directives. The Court gave the mother custodial parent rights and the child wants to live with her Dad?

If both parties are in agreement she could but I would do nothing without Court Order because this will also change child support. Dad "probably" won't pay support if she lives with him.

... Dad "probably" won't pay support if she lives with him.

And, in theory, his monthly CS obligation will continue.

Can she do so without a judges court order?

From what I am reading, a child may not leave the custodial parents home without consent, especially if there is an order in effect saying that one parent or the other has physical custody. If the child leaves the home to stay with non custodial parent, there has to be written agreement that "everyone" involved is in agreement with the move. It is called a Court Order people, if you take your child away from the court appointed custodial parent, even if you are the other parent, it is the same as kid napping! Custodial parent must give consent or you can go to jail!

So, I am going to court tomorrow in Virginia Beach with my 17 yo daughter who was previously living with her mom. Per the court order, mom has primary physical custody and I have joint custody status for decision making with extensive visitation. In May my daughter ran away and was found 4 days later out of state. She contacted me and said that she did not want to stay with her mom anymore for various reasons. I agreed to her coming and staying with me and notified her mom when she arrived at my home in Northern VA. Her mom objects to her living with me and is unwilling to compromise. My daughter will be 18 in April of next year, and being so close to legal age, I am hoping that the court will simply change the custody order. Her mom filed a petition against me for not adhering to the current order and I filed a petition for custody.

At this point, I am hoping the judge lets her stay with me. A trial would be long and drawn out and frankly my daughter would be 18 before it would even be over.

My daughter has expressed to me that she will not stay with her mom and that if the court does not allow her to stay with me, then she will run away again. I am hoping that the court realizes that what is truly best is for her to remain with me so she can finish high school and have an opportunity for a better life, not the life of a runaway. Although, I have never had much faith in the court system, it is outrageously biased in favor of women - That is a fact!

Here's my message for all of you going through similar situations: Put yourself aside and do what's best for your kids. I have tried for many years, but unfortunately my ex is a "bleeping" psychopath. I wish things were different, they aren't.

... I have tried for many years, but unfortunately my ex is a "bleeping" psychopath. ...

Apparently all ex's are. That's what makes them ex's. :)

Although, I have never had much faith in the court system, it is outrageously biased in favor of women - That is a fact!

Here's my message for all of you going through similar situations: Put yourself aside and do what's best for your kids. I have tried for many years, but unfortunately my ex is a "bleeping" psychopath. I wish things were different, they aren't.


As a female involved with the Courts I'd like more info about this "fact."

Yes, all "ex's" are psychopaths. I hear that all the time. Apparently people marry and there are no issues but then divorce papers are filed and they turn into psychopaths.

Or drug addicts, that's a big one, too.