At the end of the day I just don't see a point in tomorrow, I do different things and try different stuff but it all still FEELS the same. I have had 3 different jobs in the past year because I get tired of them, I have had a ton a different projects, lots of things I never finish because I know what it's going to look like in the end and that ruins it for me. Sometimes I wish I was in a position where I had to struggle for my life, fight to give it meaning. Someone said that I "choose" to look at life in a way that makes it boring, I didn't quite understand that, and I know I don't "choose" to feel the way I feel. If I had a choice I would be rich, trying everything I could. So to that end, there are plenty of things I want to do, but I KNOW I can never afford to do it. Someone else told me to relax and focus on "now" and just appreciate everything around you. I don't find that interesting in anyway, shape, or form. Everyday I try new things but it is all just the same old stuff in a different package, snowboarding and riding bikes, to video games an TV, to work and chores, to eating and sleeping, it is all just the same.

What do I expect you to tell me, I don't know, what can you tell me? Will I listen? Do you know what I can do to stop killing time until I grow old and die, or off myself, or someone kills me. I was thinking about joining the marines because I think I would love to go to war, but then I hear what people tell me and it just sounds boring, and how PC in the military is making it impossible to do anything, I doubt I would pass a psych eval anyway, I don't shy off the truth any. I wish I could live forever so I know I could have enough time to do what I wanted to do, but I don't I will be dead in 50-60 years at the most, and that isn't anywhere near enough time to do what I want. So why try. Then I get to retire... when I'm old? I see what old people do, I don't want to be an old person, I would definitely be an unpleasant person to be around, like I am now, but much much worse. Thoughts?

I can identify with some of what you say here, because I am 65 and feel tired and like I've had enough life for one person, but you sort of contradict yourself. Everything bores you but you want to live forever so you'd have time to do what you want?

So my first question is what do you want to do that you aren't doing?
If what you dream about doing takes money you don't have, then I'd suggest saving for just one of those dream excitements (and probably find out just how boring that is too). You are bored I suspect because you have no sense of yourself, no meaning. I'm not saying life has meaning, which it doesn't - each person needs meaning for himself.
Meaning might be love and truth. Love is enough for most of the world, truth (philosophy, knowledge, research, religion, exploration, invention, mediation) for some of the world, and both for some too. Or they can take turns.
Or you can off yourself or go to war and get killed. Look at all the rich people who spend more and more money on fast cars, boats, planes, drugs, wine women and song, and die young and miserable. Sure, some of them are happy, just as some poor and middling people are happy. Happiness has nothing to do with money.

So - what non-boring thing do you want to do first? And what makes you think that will help your ennui?

You have no purpose, you don't see or find the people who depend on you and if and when you do, you have no moral purpose to fulfill responsibility. Life is full of duties to ourself, to others and to the world as a whole.

What do I want to be doing? Driving around in expensive cars... fast. Learning to fly airplanes, helicopters, skydiving, seeing the world, working in law enforcement, working as a criminal (only if I could live forever so that prison sentence would be nothing to me, and you know nothing that would hurt other people at least physically, things like setting up elaborate robberies and stuff like that), learning other languages, learning everything. What I don't have is time, what I do all the time is work, I work and I work, 60 hours a week and I make 20k a year after taxes. I got student loans that will take 10 years to pay off at this rate, car insurance, cell phone, rent, crappy food, start businesses, invent things. I get roughly 30 hours a week of free time, which would be OK, if it wasn't broken up. The thing is, I am going to be spending all my time paying off my debt, then spending all my time saving up, so I can hopefully have an OK amount of money so I don't have to live on the street before I die.

I don't owe anybody anything (except money), and nobody owes me anything, for me happiness has everything to do with money, because money enables me to experience the things that seem fun to me (but they might not end up being so fun when I try them, but at least I want to try). I mean I could probably find a way to do things cheep, but cheep still takes money and what am I supposed to do with close to zero net income. No I won't take handouts, if you put a million dollars in front of me I wouldn't touch it, even if you said I could have it.

I could start earning more money, I could pay off my debt, and I could try these things, and you could be right, they might not bring me any satisfaction in life whatsoever. I still would like the opportunity to try. Which I could do if I had enough time, then I could just save up every last penny I get, then one day in the far future I would be able to afford these things, but since that isn't going to happen and I only have so much time left, why do I want to spend it working my off just to get by, and then die?

What do I want to be doing? Driving around in expensive cars.... fast. Learning to fly airplanes, helicopters, skydiving, seeing the world, working in law enforcement, working as a criminal (only if I could live forever so that prison sentence would be nothing to me, and you know nothing that would hurt other people at least physically, things like setting up elaborate robberies and stuff like that), learning other languages, learning everything. What I don't have is time, what I do all the time is work, I work and I work, 60 hours a week and I make 20k a year after taxes. I got student loans that will take 10 years to pay off at this rate, car insurance, cell phone, rent, crappy food, start businesses, invent things. I get roughly 30 hours a week of free time, which would be ok, if it wasn't broken up. The thing is, I am going to be spending all my time paying off my debt, then spending all my time saving up, so I can hopefully have an ok amount of money so I don't have to live on the street before I die.

I don't owe anybody anything (except money), and nobody owes me anything, for me happiness has everything to do with money, because money enables me to experience the things that seem fun to me (but they might not end up being so fun when I try them, but at least I want to try). I mean I could probably find a way to do things cheep, but cheep still takes money and what am I supposed to do with close to zero net income. No I wont take handouts, if you put a million dollars in front of me I wouldn't touch it, even if you said I could have it.

The fact of the matter is I could start earning more money, I could pay off my debt, and I could try these things, and you could be right, they might not bring me any satisfaction in life whatsoever. I still would like the opportunity to try. Which I could do if I had enough time, then I could just save up every last penny I get, then one day in the far future I would be able to afford these things, but since that isn't going to happen and I only have so much time left, why do I want to spend it working my off just to get by, and then die?

Sorry about the new account, but it won't let you post without making a new account, if you accidentally hit submit without logging in first.