I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 32... we have never had sex but he says he wants it soooo bad when I ask why we don't it always starts a huge fight and each time his excuses change like one time he'll say we don't because the time has to be right another time he will say he isn't ready and another time he says we haven't cause I cuss and have a bad attitude but even when things go perfect still nothing... one time he even said he just didn't want to fool with the condom , etc... so I am not really sure what is going on other things are weird besides the sex issue... he won't talk to me on the phone when he is suppose to be with his family he just ignores my calls and when he finally calls me back after a while he has to go outside to talk to me.. he is even kind of distant when we are together around his family... he always points out women he thinks are attractive but if I pointed out men I thought were nice looking I would get yelled at and etc for a long time... he always checks my phone to see who I have talked to and he always says I can never have any guy friends or even say anything to a guy... when things go wrong I always get the blame... help! What's going on here?

What's going on is that you are in an abusive and controlling relationship with someone who is probably married.

Drop this guy and go find someone who treats you better.

When he's with his family?

When he's with his family?

Yes he will not talk at all when he is suppose to be with his family and he will ignore me for hours but if he texts or calls me I have to answer right then or he flips out..

Yes he will not talk at all when he is suppose to be with his family and he will ignore me for hours but if he texts or calls me i have to answer right then or he flips out..

And you don't see this as a reason to run?

My mom has pointed out many reasons to run away as fast as I can from this guy... just don't know how to let this relationship go.. it's my first one ever

"Hi, you're bat crazy! Bye!" Just kidding.

There is something horrible he is hiding, it is just that feeling I get. Run away. What to say to him,
"Things aren't working for me. I don't want to see you any more." Promptly leave and block all contact from him. Phone, online, and otherwise.

Just go, "I don't see a future for us and instead of use stringing each other on I Think we should end this." Don't fall for any of the "But I don't want to, we can work this out."

I got a feeling that you're a woman on the side for him.

I'm surprised no one has suggested this yet: he is gay and he is using you as a cover.

He's 32 and your 19
No sex in 7 months.
This is your first relationship, you have no experience so he was hoping you would think this relationship is normal and wouldn't question it
He's unreasonable and hot tempered, indicating tremendous stress.
He's distant with his family, they possibly suspect he's gay and he's hiding their suspicions from you

The only reason I've ever seen 30 something guy with a teenage girl is for sex only, not an actual relationship. Considering you haven't had sex even once and he's still jealous of your guy friends, raises a red flag.

There's no other logical reason for this awkward behavior.

Thanks for all the advice you... it helped me a lot :)

I'm surprised no one has suggested this yet: he is gay and he is using you as a cover.

He's 32 and your 19
No sex in 7 months.
This is your first relationship, you have no experience so he was hoping you would think this relationship is normal and wouldn't question it
He's unreasonable and hot tempered, indicating tremendous stress.
He's distant with his family, they possibly suspect he's gay and he's hiding their suspicions from you

The only reason I've ever seen 30 something guy with a teenage girl is for sex only, not an actual relationship. Considering you haven't had sex even once and he's still jealous of your guy friends, raises a red flag.

There's no other logical reason for this awkward behavior.



What Slapshot said - great post! Worth repeating.