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View Full Version : Sleeping with another 13 year old both abused by other people is it wrong?


Middlewisdom
Jun 17, 2012, 11:46 AM
I've been sleeping with this girl and she was sexually abused and has a scar going from her bikini line down the inside of her thigh I was abuses in the bed room to need HELP!

Fr_Chuck
Jun 17, 2012, 11:50 AM
Sleeping with any 13 year old is abuse in and to itself. They are not emotionally really to be having sex. They need to be in counseling, not creating more harm.

Middlewisdom
Jun 17, 2012, 11:56 AM
I don't think she can stop she gives me eyes and they basically tell me to do thing and I can never say no.

odinn7
Jun 17, 2012, 12:36 PM
How old are you?

Middlewisdom
Jun 17, 2012, 03:57 PM
13

ScottGem
Jun 17, 2012, 04:03 PM
Are you for real? Do you want to be a father? Can't you control yourself? This girl needs help not someone else to abuse her. And you shouldn't be having sex at 13.

Leave this girl alone! And talk to your parents about getting counseling for your lack of self control.

Middlewisdom
Jun 17, 2012, 04:04 PM
She gives me eyes and actually ask to do things.

I'm going to talk to somebody.

ScottGem
Jun 17, 2012, 04:35 PM
she gives me eyes and actually ask to do things.So don't be alone with her. And say no.



i'm going to talk to somebody.

Please do, your parents would be the first to talk to.

Middlewisdom
Jun 18, 2012, 07:50 AM
I talked to her she says we can stop sleeping together but we are still dating.

ScottGem
Jun 18, 2012, 09:51 AM
Do your parents know you are dating? At your age parents need to know and approve.

mmresd
Jun 18, 2012, 10:07 AM
You can never say no? Be a man and have some self control, if you can't do that, you shouldn't be having intercourse in the first place. She is a child, and you are being a pedophile in the eyes of the law, I really would not like that in my record.

slapshot_oi
Jun 18, 2012, 12:42 PM
She is a child, and you are being a pedophile in the eyes of the law, I really would not like that in my record.
You failed to read what the OP wrote. They're both 13. He's not a pedophile, they're equals.

Middlewisdom
Jun 18, 2012, 04:32 PM
Yes they know that weer dating but they don't know what we did in the bedroom.


You failed to read what the OP wrote. They're both 13. He's not a pedophile, they're equals.

Actually until I'm 14 it's against the law where I am but I can get married at age 14 and her she can get married now.

Middlewisdom
Jun 18, 2012, 04:45 PM
Do your parents know you are dating? At your age parents need to know and approve.

Yes they know weer dating but they don't know what went on in the bedroom.

Alty
Jun 18, 2012, 04:46 PM
yes they know that weer dating but they don't know what we did in the bedroom.



actually until I'm 14 it's against the law where i am but i can get married at age 14 and her she can get married now.

Where do you live that it's legal to marry at the age of 13?

Middlewisdom
Jun 18, 2012, 04:47 PM
Where do you live that it's legal to marry at the age of 13?

New Hampshire

She can get married at age 13.

I have to leave for the night.

Alty
Jun 18, 2012, 04:57 PM
she can get married at age 13.

I find no law that states that. Can you post the link to where you got this information?

Also, you should know, the age of legal consent in New Hampshire is 16. Yes, there is a close in age exception, for people over the age of 13, if their age difference is 3 years or less. But neither one of you are over 13.

Fr_Chuck
Jun 18, 2012, 05:01 PM
You failed to read what the OP wrote. They're both 13. He's not a pedophile, they're equals.

This was a play on words, and I think I started it, this 13 year old silly child, is claiming to be a mature young adult. So if he is really a mature young adult, then he would be a pedophile because he has sexual desires on a child.

Middlewisdom
Jun 18, 2012, 05:18 PM
I find no law that states that. Can you post the link to where you got this information?

Also, you should know, the age of legal consent in New Hampshire is 16. Yes, there is a close in age exception, for people over the age of 13, if their age difference is 3 years or less. But neither one of you are over 13.

http://law.findlaw.com/state-laws/marriage-age-requirements/new-hampshire/

Code Section 457:4 to 457:6
Minimum Legal Age With Parental Consent Male: 14; Female: 13
Minimum Legal Age Without Parental Consent Male: 18; Female: 18
Comments Any marriage contracted by persons under 18 may, in discretion of superior court, be annulled at suit of the party who at the time of marriage was under 18. The parent or guardian can also annul, unless the parties confirm marriage upon reaching age of consent (18 years).

I have my lap top that is almost dead so I can be on for a little longer

Alty
Jun 18, 2012, 05:22 PM
http://law.findlaw.com/state-laws/marriage-age-requirements/new-hampshire/

Code Section 457:4 to 457:6
Minimum Legal Age With Parental Consent Male: 14; Female: 13
Minimum Legal Age Without Parental Consent Male: 18; Female: 18
Comments Any marriage contracted by persons under 18 may, in discretion of superior court, be annulled at suit of the party who at the time of marriage was under 18. The parent or guardian can also annul, unless the parties confirm marriage upon reaching age of consent (18 years).

And you really think her parents would consent to her getting married at 13?

Middlewisdom
Jun 18, 2012, 05:36 PM
And you really think her parents would consent to her getting married at 13?

Probably but I would have to wait till Feb. to get married.

My mother said I could if my girlfriends parent yes I hope they do!

Alty
Jun 18, 2012, 05:40 PM
my mother said i could if my girlfriends parent yes i hope they do!

Well that's great, congrats! Where do you work? Where does she work? Where will you live? Are you even allowed to cross the street by yourself? I don't know of any place that will hire a 13 year old, so how will you support yourself, and your 13 year old wife, when you get married?

Troll! Go to bed!

Fr_Chuck
Jun 18, 2012, 05:42 PM
You know you deserve it, you deserve to lose your childhood, to be responible, to never know what it is to grow up and have a normal childhood.

You deserve to end up with a wife that has emotional problems and will at about 18 feel cheated of her childhood with perhaps two or three kids by then.

You deserve to be on welfare and owe me and others for the food on your table.

And you will be a great example to other children to know and find out what not to do.

Middlewisdom
Jun 18, 2012, 05:45 PM
my mother said i could if my girlfriends parent yes i hope they do!

I found the law I was breaking

No Requirement of Force

Statutory rape differs from other types of rape, and from child molestation, in that the act would not be a crime if all participants were above the age of consent. Unlike "forcible rape," statutory rape can involve underage participants who willingly engage in sexual relations. However, because those under the age of consent cannot give legal consent to sex, the act is a crime whether force is involved.

ScottGem
Jun 18, 2012, 05:48 PM
my mother said i could if my girlfriends parent yes i hope they do!

I'm having a hard time believing your story. It sounded far fetched in the beginning, but your mother would allow you to marry at 14!! Why? How could you possible support a family? But then, again, a parent that would allow two 13 yr olds to be alone in a bedroom, should be brought up on charges.

And hopefully her parents care enough about her to put the kibosh on that idea.

Middlewisdom
Jun 18, 2012, 05:51 PM
You know you deserve it, you deserve to lose your childhood, to be responible, to never know what it is to grow up and have a normal childhood.

You deserve to end up with a wife that has emotional problems and will at about 18 feel cheated of her childhood with perhaps two or three kids by then.

You deserve to be on welfare and owe me and others for the food on your table.

And you will be a great example to other children to know and find out what not to do.

I'm not excited any more and will probably breakup with my girlfriend now

I hate it when someone's right :(

My girlfriend has been siting here the whole time reading these and she agrees we should stop seeing each other for a wile so that solves my problem. :)

Alty
Jun 18, 2012, 06:09 PM
I'm not excited any more and will probably breakup with my girlfriend now

You went from wanting to marry her in February to breaking up with her, and you wonder why 13 year olds shouldn't be dating? That says it all.

Bottom line, legal, illegal, right, wrong, you're not old enough to play adult games because you're a child.

Breaking up with her is the best thing you could do.

Having said that, I still think you're a troll, and frankly, I don't believe a word of what you posted. But, maybe some other 13 year old moron will read this and see how stupid it all is.

Good luck.

Middlewisdom
Jun 18, 2012, 06:53 PM
You went from wanting to marry her in February to breaking up with her, and you wonder why 13 year olds shouldn't be dating? That says it all.

Bottom line, legal, illegal, right, wrong, you're not old enough to play adult games because you're a child.

Breaking up with her is the best thing you could do.

Having said that, I still think you're a troll, and frankly, I don't believe a word of what you posted. But, maybe some other 13 year old moron will read this and see how stupid it all is.

Good luck.

I bet that your in your 20s and had sex under the age of consent and probably your partner took a part of you that you can never fill with any one else and are answering these questions try to help people that made the same mistake

I'll check and see what you say in the morning.

Alty
Jun 18, 2012, 07:01 PM
I bet that your in your 20s and had sex under the age of consent and probably your partner took a part of you that you can never fill with any one else and are answering these questions try to help people that made the same mistake

I'm 41. I was molested from the time I was 5, for many years. I've been with my husband for 22 years. I was in therapy because of the molestation. I was also raped when I was 18.

Any more stupid comments you want to make, or do you really think you're wiser than I am? I've been there, done all of that. Ya, I had sex underage, because I didn't give a damn about myself, due to the molestation as a child. Just like your girlfriend!

Any more stupid comments you want to make?

If you have half a brain, you'll read what I just wrote and realize that I know a lot more about your girlfriend then you do. I know what it's like, and I know why she's sleeping with you. It isn't love. In fact, it's hate, for herself!

odinn7
Jun 18, 2012, 07:50 PM
Given all that he has posted, I am saying this is all just BS and he's a troll. This can't be real and it seems that it's only done to get reactions from us.

Ok little guy, go outside and play now. There's a whole world out there waiting for you.

Middlewisdom
Jun 19, 2012, 04:14 AM
I am his mother. He was abused. Imagine being 13 and dealing with a ton of issues, not knowing what is right or wrong in the sexual department because of an adult he trusted as a child crossed the line. We did talk about getting married at 14 because in Arkansas, you can. We do not live in Arkansas though. I asked him the same valid questions that any sane mother would. Where would you live, how would you support yourself, how would you raise kids, etc? He quickly realized that it wouldn't work. He is not thinking clearly. He thinks by them running away it will stop the pain for both of them. It was during that conversation that I found out that he posted this online. Please know that he is in counseling and getting help for all that he has been through. I would appreciate it if you did not look down on him- He has been through more horrors than any of you could imagine. And believe me, his internet use is going to be completely monitored from now on.

ScottGem
Jun 19, 2012, 04:43 AM
I am his mother.

Hi Mom, Thanks for letting us know. Let me explain some things about this site. All too often we get people who lie to us. Who make up stories to play games with us. Very often we have caught them in inconsistencies that make us doubt their stories. But we do care. That's why we respond the way we do.

You seem like you are up on this and I congratulate you.

Please keep us posted on how they are doing.

Alty
Jun 19, 2012, 04:55 PM
I am his mother. He was abused. Imagine being 13 and dealing with a ton of issues, not knowing what is right or wrong in the sexual department because of an adult he trusted as a child crossed the line.

Mom, I don't have to imagine it. I was sexually molested by a relative from the time I was 5 years old, for many years. I will admit that because of that I had a jaded view on life, and didn't seek counseling until I was an adult. My parents never knew about the abuse. I never told them. But, I can say, no matter what I did as a teen, I knew right from wrong. Also, I had two parents that never would have allowed me to have sex at the age of 13. They were wonderful parents, and they took that responsibility very seriously.


We did talk about getting married at 14 because in Arkansas, you can. We do not live in Arkansas though. I asked him the same valid questions that any sane mother would. Where would you live, how would you support yourself, how would you raise kids, etc? He quickly realized that it wouldn't work. He is not thinking clearly.

I'm sorry, but I'm still thinking about the fact that you know that your son is having sex at 13, with another child that was also sexually molested, and yet you say "any sane mother". A sane mother wouldn't allow a 13 year old to have sex with anyone. I don't think that junior is the only one not thinking clearly.


He thinks by them running away it will stop the pain for both of them. It was during that conversation that I found out that he posted this online. Please know that he is in counseling and getting help for all that he has been through.

I'm completely behind counseling. He really does need it, if he's been through everything you say he's been through, and to help him deal with the relationship he's in now.


I would appreciate it if you did not look down on him- He has been through more horrors than any of you could imagine.

Who am I to look down on anyone? I don't have to imagine what he's been through, I lived it, and I survived it. He can too.


And believe me, his internet use is going to be completely monitored from now on.

I do applaud that. Children and the internet don't mix, without parental involvement. But, I do have to say, if this story is true, and forgive me for not entirely believing it, after all, this is the internet, it's so very easy to lie, and your son has made quite a bad impression, as an internet troll, on this site. But, if his story is true, the people on this site are more than willing to help. We can't replace counseling, but we can be here to listen. If that is something you want to consider, I'm more than willing to give him another chance, but I would also recommend that you be with him when he's posting here, or monitor closely what he writes.

I can only wish you both the best of luck, and urge you to continue the counseling. It helped me a great deal.

ScottGem
Jun 19, 2012, 05:08 PM
I'm sorry, but I'm still thinking about the fact that you know that your son is having sex at 13, with another child that was also sexually molested, and yet you say "any sane mother". A sane mother wouldn't allow a 13 year old to have sex with anyone. I don't think that junior is the only one not thinking clearly.


That's a good point. I was hoping that either mom just found out about it by reading this thread or already put a stop to it.

Middlewisdom
Jun 26, 2012, 07:09 PM
That's a good point. I was hoping that either mom just found out about it by reading this thread or already put a stop to it.

She put a stop to it and I can't even date anyone till I'm 16 now.

Alty
Jun 26, 2012, 07:15 PM
She put a stop to it and i can't even date anyone till I'm 16 now.

Good for mom! Way to go mom! That's great news.

Middlewisdom
Jun 26, 2012, 07:17 PM
I'm 41. I was molested from the time I was 5, for many years. I've been with my husband for 22 years. I was in therapy because of the molestation. I was also raped when I was 18.

Any more stupid comments you want to make, or do you really think you're wiser than I am? I've been there, done all of that. Ya, I had sex underage, because I didn't give a damn about myself, due to the molestation as a child. Just like your girlfriend!

Any more stupid comments you want to make?

If you have half a brain, you'll read what I just wrote and realize that I know a lot more about your girlfriend then you do. I know what it's like, and I know why she's sleeping with you. It isn't love. In fact, it's hate, for herself!

I'm sorry I said anything that offended you and I now deserve to be called a Troll, doing what I did it puts allot of stress on the human body and I started to shake and now I still feel like carp but I have to deal with the consequences. I'm now realizing that having sex with someone and having them leaving can take you for an emotional roller coaster and my counselor said that we can't see each other again because he thinks that she got PTSD.

Alty
Jun 26, 2012, 07:25 PM
If you're sincere, I accept your apology.

I've been where you are. I do know how hard it is to deal with this sort of thing.

I can only advise that you continue seeing your counselor, follow his/her advice, and be honest and upfront so that you can get the help you need.

You'll have plenty of time to experience love in the future. Right now work on dealing with the issues from your past, so you can deal with the future. Okay?

Middlewisdom
Jun 27, 2012, 07:36 AM
If you're sincere, I accept your apology.

I've been where you are. I do know how hard it is to deal with this sort of thing.

I can only advise that you continue seeing your counselor, follow his/her advice, and be honest and upfront so that you can get the help you need.

You'll have plenty of time to experience love in the future. Right now work on dealing with the issues from your past, so you can deal with the future. Okay?

When I was molested by my dad there was a restraining order that said I couldn't see my dad till I was 18 I have no clue where he is and that probably why I had sex to try to fill the void but it didn't.