I have a group of friends from school that is a very wide age group-- we were the self-described nerds who hung out at the student center on campus, had lunch together, and just mucked around. The people in this group range from seventeen to forty three-- new incoming freshman, and graduates who now have careers and families who still hang out whenever they pass by the university.

As such, many of my friends are a few years younger than me. One of these friends, "Chris", has been trying to flirt with me and talk me into dating him. I have already sat down and talked with him, explaining simply that I am not interested. I thought that solved the problem-- until he started showing up at my work looking for me. I talked with him again, citing our age difference as a reason I am not interested, because he just turned nineteen and I am twenty three. That seemed to work... until an hour later he was calling me on my cell trying to make plans for dinner. I cited the fact that I am very good friends with his ex girlfriend, and seeing as she and I have a working relationship as well as a friendship I do not want to cause any issues between us, dating him would be out of the question. I also reminded him that I am NOT INTERESTED. He still won't quit.

During the middle of all of this, two of our mutual friends have been trying to "convince" me as well. They have been playing the role of matchmakers and keep egging Chris on like he has a chance.

Every time I log onto Facebook he immediately messages me and gets upset when I don't want to talk to him. He texts me four times a day. When I won't answer, he gets one of the other two friends to message me for him asking what's wrong.

The previous two times I have tried to hang out with my friends, I have been told "yeah, so and so and whoever will be there", but no mention of Chris. They have been *hiding* from me that Chris will be invited, because I have been trying to avoid him because he is stalking me. Now I am afraid to go anywhere with my friends because I don't want to *again* explain to him that he needs to leave me alone.

So, I guess the only solution is to cut off all of my friends and delete my Facebook?

I can't really say that I disagree with your approach. I would have told them and the youngster where to stick their heads a long time ago. But your way may be better.

If he's stalking you, call the Police.

If it's anything else you aren't being forceful enough. Block HIM from your FB.

Do your friends think you and this person are on the same emotional level, even though you are older?

If you don't want to be bothered, don't be bothered. Block all of them.

I do notice you had a very immature response on another thread and actually insulted respected, long-time members. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/interior-home-improvement/home-decor-dummies-572294.html It also appear you have a blog which is pretty much open to the public. Does that still exist?

Block him on face book, explain to him you are close to calling the police and filing for a restraining order against him. If "friends" bother, explain that he is stalking and you see him as a danger.

Thank you, although the more concerning issue is not that he is continuing to contact me, but rather that he is being encouraged and helped by people I once called friends.

As I cannot keep track of how many of our mutual friends are aiding him, (my last count has gotten up to six), I will now be deleting all of our mutual friends from Facebook and warning my boss to call the police the next time he is seen. I have also asked my boss and other staff to warn me if anybody comes looking for me at work and to have them identify themselves, because the last I heard he was also in touch with my ex boyfriend and they have been spending an unusual amount of time together, which lead to my ex calling me last night. Until he got my ex involved, I was under the impression that this was merely a sad little kid with a crush and some immature friends playing a prank on him, but now I see where you all are coming from deeming this as an emergency for the police. As for the blog, I have deleted that as well as my skype account, two emails (one of which is my university issued address), and temporarily traded cellphones with my sister, as these are all other venues he and my long-time friends have used to message me. I have now cancelled my graduation party and other summer plans, and spoken to the District manager of my work about transferring jobs.

Thank you, although the more concerning issue is not that he is continuing to contact me, but rather that he is being encouraged and helped by people I once called friends.

As I cannot keep track of how many of our mutual friends are aiding him, (my last count has gotten up to six), I will now be deleting all of our mutual friends from facebook and warning my boss to call the police the next time he is seen. I have also asked my boss and other staff to warn me if anybody comes looking for me at work and to have them identify themselves, because the last I heard he was also in touch with my ex boyfriend and they have been spending an unusual amount of time together, which lead to my ex calling me last night. Until he got my ex involved, I was under the impression that this was merely a sad little kid with a crush and some immature friends playing a prank on him, but now I see where you all are coming from deeming this as an emergency for the police. As for the blog, I have deleted that as well as my skype account, two emails (one of which is my university issued address), and temporarily traded cellphones with my sister, as these are all other venues he and my long-time friends have used to message me. I have now cancelled my graduation party and other summer plans, and spoken to the District manager of my work about transferring jobs.


Seems a bit extreme? Nothing a restraining order could have fixed?

Thank you, although the more concerning issue is not that he is continuing to contact me, but rather that he is being encouraged and helped by people I once called friends.

As I cannot keep track of how many of our mutual friends are aiding him, (my last count has gotten up to six), I will now be deleting all of our mutual friends from facebook and warning my boss to call the police the next time he is seen. I have also asked my boss and other staff to warn me if anybody comes looking for me at work and to have them identify themselves, because the last I heard he was also in touch with my ex boyfriend and they have been spending an unusual amount of time together, which lead to my ex calling me last night. Until he got my ex involved, I was under the impression that this was merely a sad little kid with a crush and some immature friends playing a prank on him, but now I see where you all are coming from deeming this as an emergency for the police. As for the blog, I have deleted that as well as my skype account, two emails (one of which is my university issued address), and temporarily traded cellphones with my sister, as these are all other venues he and my long-time friends have used to message me. I have now cancelled my graduation party and other summer plans, and spoken to the District manager of my work about transferring jobs.



I wouldn't allow him to force me to change my life.

I'd be filing for a Restraining Order.

Tell him that if he won't stop talking to you you will be going to the authorities. As far as the friends go, tell them how you feel, if they do not respect it, then it is time to find friends that actually care about you, not use you for amusement.

You guys are hilarious.

You guys are hilarious.

Why do you say that?

You guys are hilarious.

Can you enlighten me? I didn't see anything that I would consider hilarious in any of the posts, unless you're lying to us and find our posts funny because we're actually responding, and wasting our time.

Is that the case? If not, you've gotten very valuable advice, none of which was in the least bit hilarious.

Obviously a troll with a made up story.

It's just making me crack up. *shrug*, I suppose the only people that exist in the world are the good guys who get the girl and the ones who, once scorned, hide in my driveway with an axe and murder me unless I call the police.

I'll take Chuck's approach and stop trying to spare his feelings, because he seems to feel that friendship is a guaranteed steppingstone to a relationship-- and honestly, if he's this disrespectful, then his friendship isn't worth it. Same with the "matchmaker" friends who are leading him on. If that doesn't work I'll let my boyfriend deal with it.

And the making me crack up statement is based on what?

Do you expect one of us to go to wherever you are and do hand to hand combat with this guy?

Face it - he can't resist your charms.

And you have a boyfriend who is putting up with this?

Yes, a troll with a dramatic side - waiting for you in the driveway with an ax?

It's just making me crack up. *shrug*, I suppose the only people that exist in the world are the good guys who get the girl and the ones who, once scorned, hide in my driveway with an axe and murder me unless I call the police.

I'll take Chuck's approach and stop trying to spare his feelings, because he seems to feel that friendship is a guaranteed steppingstone to a relationship-- and honestly, if he's this disrespectful, then his friendship isn't worth it. Same with the "matchmaker" friends who are leading him on. If that doesn't work I'll let my boyfriend deal with it.

Now you suddenly have a boyfriend? Do your friends know about this boyfriend? Does the 19 year old know about him?

If he's as bad as you say, then you get a restraining order. But considering your flair for the dramatic, I'd think long and hard before you call the police. They don't like to be lied to anymore than we do. Just fyi.

BOYFRIEND!? What boyfriend??

BOYFRIEND!????????????????? What boyfriend???????????????????????????

Apparently she just got a boyfriend. Don't know where he's been while this guy, and her friends, have been trying to hook her up. Hopefully he's not the one wielding an ax in her front driveway. Boy do I miss the rolling eyes emoticon.

If you're buying any of this story, I have a bridge to sell you in England. It's pink. :)

Apparently she just got a boyfriend. Don't know where he's been while this guy, and her friends, have been trying to hook her up. Hopefully he's not the one wielding an ax in her front driveway. Boy do I miss the rolling eyes emoticon.

If you're buying any of this story, I have a bridge to sell you in England. It's pink. :)


I know the troll that lives under that bridge!

Well, the boyfriend isn't relevant to the question. This is a question about the friends playing matchmaker.

Have to wonder what else isn't relevant.

Lets not ignore the obvious. Why would YOUR friends undermine YOUR relationship by playing matchmaker? That's why you having a boyfriend is VERY relevant.

Seems to me that "I have a boyfriend already" would stop all of this. Why doesn't it?

Lets not ignore the obvious. Why would YOUR friends undermine YOUR relationship by playing matchmaker? Thats why you having a boyfriend is VERY relevant.

Seems to me that "I have a boyfriend already" would stop all of this. Why doesn't it?



I asked that in #14 above - so far OP hasn't answered.