We've been dating for 9 months and just moved in together. In the beginning of our relationship we had an active sex life and it slowly died down from a few times a week to once every two weeks if I'm lucky.

My really close friend happens to be his ex, I asked her if she experienced the same thing. She said yes, along with every other girlfriend of his.

We've been able to communicate about this problem him and I and he feels really bad and it makes me upset that I can't have the active sex life that I want in a relationship. He knows this is a huge problem for our relationship. There are many nights where we both go to bed upset. I'm scared to even make a move on him now and this doesn't feel healthy.

He can't explain why he starts a relationship with lots of sex and then it dies down. He says he simply just doesn't want to have sex very often.

I've searched causes of loss in libido and drugs and alcohol may be a factor and well he is only 17 so perhaps there's more to it than that. (I'm 24 so already our relationship is a bit out of the ordinary and I have different expectations than he might but that's perhaps besides the point)...

But what made me go on to think about the possibility that he may be gay is first, when he does want to fool around, he pushes for anal and likes that particular area. His ex confirms this fact. Second, we have just moved in together. I was cleaning the other day and found a vibrating butt plug (not very hidden either surprisingly).

That got me wondering. I mean he does happen to pay more attention to the way he dresses than most 17 year olds. But I know his character and if this is something on his mind, he has a lot of boundaries to cross with himself before he can even admit it to himself. He puts up quite the tough guy front but is a big softy underneath.

Anyway - I'm not quite sure how to go about this. I don't want to throw question at him. *IF* he is curious about that lifestyle, I believe he will approach it at his own speed.

But now I'm stuck with this thought in the back of my mind and it will probably be there next time we fool around. So my own state of mind will be altered from this point on lol see what I've done to myself.

I want to be supportive of him no matter where we end up in life. And I'm sure he would be supportive of me in that same sense. We work well together that way. Just now there seems to be a rift in our communication and I feel distant from him. I want that space between us to shrink.

My sex life isn't what I want it to be. Any advice on how I can go about creating an open communicative relationship with my boyfriend that will benefit us both no matter which direction we take?

If anybody actually took the time to read all of this I thank you so terribly much. Any thoughts?

<3

I cannot help you have sex with a minor. Sorry.

I would like to point out that the ONLY ways to know if someone is gay are:

1. They tell you so
2. You catch them having sex with a member of their same gender.

That's it. Those are the ONLY ways to know. Sexual fetishes, the way they dress, their libido--NONE of those things can be indicators of sexual orientation. In fact MOST people start a relationship with a lot of sex and then slide back into their normal libido range. The excitement of a new relationship works to raise sex drive for most people, but once they are more comfortable, they go back to their normal drive.

I'm going through a similar situation except he doesn't hide the fact that he likes butt plugs. At first he did but then he asked if he could play with one of my dildo's and took the whole thing at once! I was shocked. I don't know if he's gay but I want to know if I can have sex with him while he has the dildo in his butt, I think he'd really like it and it would make him extra hard so does anyone know the answer to that? I don't know if he is gay, we're just having fun, not living together or anything like that. Good luck to you though :)

More men than you know love anal stimulation, quite of few of those men love dildos and such. Most of the men won't admit to it because they might get accused of being gay (as is happening here). To make this simple a guy doesn't have to be gay to like anal penetration. Just like a woman doesn't have to be a lesbian to like anal.

How are you living with a minor? Does he have parents? -- Are you the 24 year old female poking around on the net trying to find out if it's legal to have sex with a 17 year old boy? (I've seen it!)

We can't tell you how to have a sexual relationship with a minor --- But something needs said here ---- if you are looking for a mature committed relationship with someone who has figured out their sexual identity and can meet all your sexual needs -- - a 17 year old boy is not the tree to bark up.

Libido, being a snappy dresser, or liking anal sex doesn't mean he's gay. So what if he is? Let him figure himself out - you can't make him into something he's not: A grown up with a libido equal to yours.

If you do have a relationship with a guy younger than you... a LEGAL one... make it an open one - one where he can grow up, find out what he likes, (see other people)? -- might be best in the long run for him.
-- maybe you should see other people as well.

You should tell him that u want 2 " talk " and tell him that u found the toy and that it is ok if he is gay and to answer honestly.

You've been asked politely by Scottgem NOT to use text speak. The word you're looking for is "to." The other words is "u."

You are on an adult board and from what I can figure out you're in sixth grade.

Moderator!

Please give up this relationship. The young man is too young for you. If you want a mature relationship, you need a mature man. Also check the laws of your state. This young man is a minor until he is eighteen years old. As far as his sexual orientation, just ask him.

You've been asked politely by Scottgem NOT to use text speak. The word you're looking for is "to." The other words is "u."

You are on an adult board and from what I can figure out you're in sixth grade.

Moderator!
That's because they ARE a kid... a 17 year old that's violating the rules being on the adult board and has been reported for it more than once.

THey admit to being a minor in this thread... https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/ok-so-how-do-talk-bf-into-having-sex-me-677176.html

THats because they ARE a kid....a 17 year old thats violating the rules being on the adult board and has been reported for it more than once.

THey admit to being a minor in this thread...https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/ok-so-how-do-talk-bf-into-having-sex-me-677176.html


It appears the kid figured out reddies just fine -