I recently broke up with my boyfriend of three years, for the majority of our relationship we had a secure one and I never had any doubts. I made a huge mistake last September when I kissed someone else. After six weeks of being apart he eventually wanted me back despite what I did. I was so thankful for him taking me back but when we got back steady again I found things were not the same and he was always different with me then.

So three weeks ago I eventually got courage and ended it to see if maybe he might change and cop on but it backfired and I rang him two days later to see if he wanted to sort things and he said he didn’t. From this on he is still not wanting me back and he is telling me he is over me already even though I know it’s not possible because when I was breaking up with him he said that he didn’t want to split up because he loved me and all.

He said he loves being single and all. Will he get sick of being single? Should I let him experience it and hope for the best? I have not been in contact with him much since we broke up. I am afraid of losing him completely. But there doesn't seem much I can do... HELP!!

prayer for stress after break up

He just ignored me and told me he didn't love me after three days of splitting up even though I don't think this is possible. I was so hurt and when I tried use my friends as moral support they all backstabbed me and made fun of me being hurt.. I don't think they understood.. so therefore I am no longer friends with them.. I feel so lost and alone and I keep thinking of doing something silly like I have no way out. When I see my ex up town he just ignores me, it is so hurtful because I spent so long with him and it would have been nice to be civil but he acts the big man and his friends have such an impact on what he does. He says he loves being single. But I don't get it when we broke up he kept saying how much he loved me and all.. it doesn't make sense! My hearts in a million pieces and I just don't know if I am ever going to be happy again as in the space of a month I lost my friends and my boyfriend.

How old are you, that may or may not explain why friends acted like they did. Was there issues before the breakup (honest?) Do friends think you may be better off with out him, or did they feel you were over reacting or being a drama queen about it.

I say this, while yes it hurts but it is far from the end of the world, and most people have several break ups before they find the right person and often that right person ends up breaking up latter and you have to find another right person.

It is tough, bu the same advice we would give him or anyone in a break up, stop all contact, take him off your Facebook, don't read of open any email and don't call or write him

Well, if you want him back so much, then I'd suggest that you give him a call and sort things out, even though he said he dosen't want to, tell him that you just want to to be friends and nothing else. Even if that's not exactly what you want, he might be happy and if you 2 are friends for a while, you may both forget the bad past that you both had together and the relationshiop might just get on track again?

Getting back together with an ex is like buying the same crappy chocolate bar twice, hoping the second time it's going to taste better.

What are you doing going back to him, it didn't work out the first time, so why would it again? Move on with your life, there are people out there that you'll be with and not feel the need to go and kiss someone else. Come on.

In his mind, first you cheated, then you dumped him. Now leave him alone and take this as an lesson learned to think before you act, and communicate with a partner instead of playing games.

Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

]I am finding it hard to understand a lot of things. I spent 3 years with my boyfriend and we loved each other. May gone past he broke my heart, he had intentions of going away to scotland for the summer and didn't let me know about this but everyone else knew.. obviously when I found out I was furious as to why he kept this from me, I broke up with him and he kept texting me saying " I love u" "I don't want to split up". I let him suffer for two days and I asked him then if he would like to sort things out hoping he might have gained an understanding of why I was annoyed and at least would try make up for it but instead he said he was done with us. I tried for several weeks to get back and literally after 2 days of being over he told me he doesn't love me and to get a new boyfriend and all.. why did this break up effect me so much and how did he get over me in a day? Or is it just a lie and it will hit him when he realises I'm gone.. I have recently unfriended him on Facebook, got a new number and nc rule for six weeks now. I just would like to know do boys ever realise?

And you may never know.

Most likely, he liked you so much, he just could not find a way and did not know how to tell you he was being gone for the summer. And when you found out, you acted just like every fear he had dreamed of.

Then YOU broke up with him, ignored him for two days

He most likely saw this as everything he feared would happen , so instead of wanting to see if the rest of his fears would happen, easier to move on

He didn't go in the end. I don't see how you can just ignore someone after 3 years.. He makes no effort to talk to me. This relationship use 2 mean the world to him now its like he doesn't care..

can someone help me understand my ex please? boys answers needed also.
In may, me and my boyfriend of 3 years split up. The week we were rowing he kept saying he didn't want to end and that he loved me.. few days later I asked him did he want to sort things out and he just goes no I don't want to go out anymore and move on and get a new boyfriend. 3 weeks solid I kept texting and getting rejected I felt so hurt and all and then I stopped, I changed my number and deleted him of fb. Six weeks of no contact and I am wondering will he ever realise he made a mistake or are boys just so immature. I don't get how you can go from being in love to getting over someone and ignoring them and making them feel like they never existed to you in the space of a day. Has anyone ever been in this position.. I am seriously confused because we had a great relationship and he really did love me and a week before that we were talking about getting married in the near future and then he just all of a sudden decides that. Confused.com:(. If I keep to the nc rule will this help or will he slip away for good.. thanks for reading this!:)

No contact will help you both recover and move on. Sometimes things, people, and feelings just change whether its from events, or circumstances.

Its been 6 weeks or so (and a few threads about the same thing), so for now ACCEPT the break up, until you can understand what happened. Many of us never do,but we still move beyond the breakupand thrive and survive.

Maybe your age or inexperience is the cause of the consternation and hurt, or the inability to cope with your feelings, so I have to ask, how old are you?

Be lucky he gave you a second go-around. I wouldn't have came back.

Move on with your life because he's clearly moved on with his.

I doubt that you ever get sick of being single, maybe prefer to be with someone important, but it is always enjoyable to be single... especially after a break up :). You have made your bed, and it is time for you to lie in it. Learn that for every choice you make there is a consequence, you tried to test him and he bailed. There will be others, don't play around with people unless you are willing to stand for the consequences. Respect his decision, have self respect for yourself, go no contact, and move on.

Of course it doesn't make sense. You are in love and deeply infatuated with being in love.

You are a teen, I am assuming. You did not give your age, or say why you kissed another. One kiss is not a complete deal breaker, but it does show difficulty in the relationship. I think both of you need to mature a little, you have years ahead. Young love can be so devastating, and young people actually get so distraught they think about and sometimes do, commit suicide.

Believe me, there are more loves in the future. You will change as you grow older, and what you are looking for in a man will change. Someday you will look back and say "what did I even see in him"?

Focus on being a great woman. He is confused too. Leave him alone. Go the other way. Find something to completely immerse yourself and take up your time so you can heal. You have nothing to gain by fretting and stalking him. It makes you look desperately needy and confused. Nothing could be more unattractive to a man. You both are acting impulsively on emotions. Never good. Let it rest.

I feel pretty bad for your ex actually. You cheated on him but because he loved you, he took you back. Then, because the relationship changed likely due to what you had done, you got upset and broke up with him. Maybe after you cheating on him and then breaking up with him, he feels like you must really not love him. I think you should leave the poor guy alone, at least for a while. If he still loves you, he'll try to make contact eventually. However, he could very possibly move on and you need to leave him alone so he can do that.

Hello everyone:) I feel like such a loser but the first week of June, my boyfriend and I split up and the same week we split up he kept telling me he loved me and didn't want to, a few days later when I calmed down a bit after the row I asked him could we sort things out like and he said no that he wanted to be single and enjoy life with his friends.. I was so hurt like and I thought it was just a phase. But we are over nearly 3 months and for the first 2 weeks I kept doing the wrong thing by texting him and ringing him and I was getting nowhere so I started no contact since and changed my number to make it easier for me. I am so scared now because I am so afraid to talk to him now it just feels like it would be awkward to bump in to him. We both live in the small town and I have not seen him. I am just wondering do men ever realise what they had and also I'm finished college this year but he has another year to go and is in middle of repeats and will probably return in September which is scaring me because I keep thinking I'm definitely losing him for good then. What should I do? Or should I wait for him to come around? Why does it take boys so long to realise? I know he loved me like what's his problem? He had everything and he threw it away.. doesnt make sense now I'm confused and constantly thinking is there something wrong with me that he couldn't commit no longer. I am not being big headed but I am a goodlooking girl and he knows that too and he said he would never get better but yet he doesn't want me. :( I'm just fed up of crying over boys. I feel like a loser these days! Anyone any ideas?

Edited for grammar, spelling and chat/text, or whatever it was


Hi everyone thanks for reading this.

End of May my ex and I broke up after 3 years leaving me heartbroken and depressed. For first few weeks of our broken relationship I tried to fix it and tried get him back by ringing and texting and I just kept pushing him further away.

I’m so scared I’ve lost him for good. I have now not contacted him in 2 and a half months solid so I’m doing pretty well but now he is going back to college Monday and I am finished at home and I’m so scared he won’t have time to miss me and that we will be over forever.

Is there anything I can do now? Or should I leave no contact a bit longer to resolve few issues? Please help!

All your threads have been merged and I doubt you get different answers even when you leave out details from your original post.

Look I know how hard break ups are as nobody likes being dumped, but its time to accept that this is over for good and get your life on track without him.