I'm am 26 years old with 3 kids. Two girls and boy my husband and I have our son, but my two daughter have different fathers. My oldest daughter father is a registered sex offender so I really have no worries as far as him getting custody if something shall happen to me. Now I have full custody of my girls & my husband and I share joint for our son. What I am most worried about is my youngest daughter!! Her father has no contact with her because he chooses to & when we were together the only reason he had anything to do with her is because we lived together but clearly stated when I was pregnant he didn't want her we split up when she was around 6 months Now her father has extremely long criminal record ranging from possession of Marijuana to improper use of vehicle, leaving scene of accident, destruction of property, Grand larceny, and several moving violations, plus at least 3 probation violations which the first one he severed a year was released and rearrested 3 months later for the same thing then sent to a halfway house for about six months then was released & rearrested again then was released on bond and was scheduled to appear for his court date but did not show! So now not only is charged for probation violation he is also charge with failure to appear on bond so he a fugitive now! I could go all day! Now my husband wants to adopt her but he won't sign over rights just because he wants to be spiteful! Now me & my husband have been together since she 6 months old and he not only wants to adopt her because he loves dearly and she means the world to him but he is the only father she has ever known. Now we had a discussion the other night that if something should happen to me what happens to the kids I don't want my children to be split up. I fear the most for my 2 year old because her father not only has a criminal record a mile long but he has no place to live he lives is constantly changing homes staying with friends here & there, had no job, has no car or license either, He is a drug addict he would rather get high then see his daughter, he doesn't pay child support, he seen her a total of 4 times since we split up so you see my fear. Now if/when he adopts her & something happens to me does my husband get custody of her? Or Is there anyway I can ensure she goes to him & not her father. Again not to worry about my oldest daughter due to the fact her father is a registered sex offender but would like for her to also go to my husband too. IF some one could help steer me in right direction

If something "happens to you" the birth father would be the first in line to be considered for custody. IF your husband adopts the child, of course, he becomes the father and has custody with or without you.

You could try talking to an Attorney, see if the fathers are SO bad that there is no chance they could get custody, perhaps write letters asking them to consent to adoption.

One of your problems when you state the problems these fathers have is that you chose to have children with them. I don't mean that as critically as it probably sounds BUT they are the fathers, one after another, and they both have criminal records.

Paying support and having custody and/or visitation are separate matters.

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Now if/when he adopts her & something happens to me does my husband get custody of her?? or Is there anyway i can ensure she goes to him & not her father. ...

Yes. If such an adoption is approved, the biological father would have no legal rights to her at all. If he refuses to consent to an adoption, there are ways, depending on which state you are in, to get an adoption approved anyway. See an attorney about that.


... My oldest daughter father is a registered sex offender so I really have no worries as far as him getting custody if something shall happen to me.
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Again not to worry bout my oldest daughter due to the fact her father is a registered sex offender but ...

The fact that he is a registered sex offender doesn't automatically terminate his paternal rights. He would have the right to custody were you to die.

You go ahead for the adoption showing it is in the best interest of the child for the adoption to happen, most likely he will no show up in court to fight it.

Now for the "registered sex offender" why do you think he would not get custody ? Did he sexually attack his own child before ? A sex offender can be anything from urination in public, to having sex at 18 with a 15 year old, to being with a underage hooker.

So depending on the type of sex offender they get custody all the time or visits. So yes he would most likely get the child if something happened to you, if not, other family members of yours would, it would not be your new husband since he has no relationship with the child