Jay Ruba
Jun 10, 2012, 05:26 PM
My ex and I dated for about 2 and a half years, she was 19 I was 21, we were happily together up until we talked about future goals, plans etc. She admitted to having strong feelings for me which made her want things like kids, moving in together, and ultimately marriage. It didn't bother me that she wanted this, nor did I question her sincerity, I wanted it too, but I wasn't oblivious to the fact that she was very young and so was I, at that age you don't know what you want. To make matters worse, or better (you choose) I found out she was a virgin before she met me. This caused distress because I knew she hadn't had the chance to see what was out there for her besides me, so I let her go (big mistake) I told her she should see other people, (I didn't tell her my reasons for letting her go, it would have been counter productive) anyway the first time I brought up breaking up, she refused, but after asking over and over, she finally had enough and agreed on REALLY bad terms I kind of forced her into a break up. Sure enough, we went our separate ways, and we both met other people, for me it was nothing more than a fling... NO SEX though! As for my girlfriend, guys admitted to liking her, she's gorgeuos I knew it would happen but there was one dude she met, she admitted to talking to him for 2 months and admitted to finding him physically attractive at most, they went out 3 times and on the 3rd date, she kissed him and fondled in his car, she touched his genitals (over the pants very briefly) Childish to mention, I know. Anyway, she said she stopped it because she didn't want to go any further with him, this happened once then never again. She drifted from him after this occurred. She told her friends, who told me, that she couldn't get me off her mind, and that bieng with this guy only confirmed the fact that I was the one she wanted to be with potentially forever... and that she was confused as to how she felt, and that she saw this guy as an outlet to forget about me, figuring that if she fell in love with this guy, maybe she would forget about me and how deeply I had hurt her... It didn't happen, she couldn't fall in love with him, I'm still the one she wants. I love her to death, but I can't get the image of her touching another cat while in love with me, I don't know if I believe it, maybe I do, but I'm hurt by it. I spoke to her, and she lost contact with the guy, he text her a few times, but she didn't respond to any of his texts. I don't know if I'm over reacting, bieng that I was the one the broke up with her for no reason after she refused over and over.. its my fault she met the dude in the first place, I know she had every right to go look for someone to make her happy after I cut her from my life unexpectedly for her to see if she can find someone better, I want her to not have any regrets or doubts about the things she never got to experience down the road if we marry, but my ego is damaged, I don't want to let my vanity get in the way of our happiness, these events confirm that were on the same page and on an even playing field when it comes down to it were both attractive people capable of finding partners elsewear, but its as simple as we just don't want to, we want each other. I know I was the first and am the only man to have ever undressed her and witness her body completley nude, and it was a privilege. But nonetheless I feel as if her innocense is gone, as if she was no longer perfect (niether am I obviously). I still love her with all my heart, and will eventually marry her, as its what we both want, but how do I get these images out of my head, Why would she touch another guy loving me even if we were broken up... are my feeling about the situation really that bad, am I wrong to feel this way? Is my male ego causing my to over amplify the severity of the situation? Everyone says it is, but I don't know how to fix it, please don't tell me that this is a double standerd, which I already know, I need advice from someone who has gone through something similar or just plain out thinks they can give me positive feedback, don't tell me to let her go again, I tried letting her go once and found out it was a huge mistake, we'll come back to each other, every time... what do you guys think? Thanks if you read the whole thing LOL!